That’s one of my all time favorite paintings. The guys on the left look more like Mongols or other Central Asian warriors.
Some people don’t know what that painting is about.
In 1676, the Zaporozhian Cossacks battled the Ottoman Turks. Even though they had defeated the Turks, the Sultan for some reason insisted that they formally submit to Ottoman rule. I don’t know why on earth a leader who was getting defeated militarily would make such a request to the guys who had the upper hand, but that’s what he did. Maybe he had been smoking hashish when he wrote that. In any case, the Cossacks drafted a very official response to the Sultan’s request:
*Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!
You, turkish devil and damned devil’s brother and friend, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are you, that can’t slay a hedgehog with his naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we’ve no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck your mother.
You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, Armenian pig, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig’s snout, mare’s arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother!
So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won’t even be herding Christian pigs. Now we’ll conclude, for we don’t know the date and don’t own a calendar; the moon’s in the sky, the year in the book, the day’s the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!
*
This has to be the all-time best written response to another nation in the history of diplomatic relations.