I am very disturbed after reading through these endless ad hominems directed at far and away the most intelligent and articulate poster ever to grace this undeserving message board. I mean, of course, Phaedrus. If you would simply listen to him, perhaps you might get a clue. What I find remarkable is Phaedrus’ infinite patience and tolerance of all of you. He presents post after post in rapid fire succession, each packed with emperical and imperative data that prove the case he makes conclusively. Meanwhile, all of you taunt him incessantly with demands for more, more, more! Well, I am here to provide you more.
I was a key thinker at America’s most prestigious think-tank for 42 years, and was, prior to that, a Munt-Fellow scholar for 25 years at Oxford, Picadilly Campus. For more than 30 years, I wrote speaches for a dozen American presidents and scores of high ranking Chinese bureaucrats. I engineered the peace accords that were signed at Versailles, and have been consulted the past 9 years by CEOs at 15 different Fortune 500 companies. I trade directly from my seat at Nasdaq, and I am Vice-assistant Undersecretary of the Illuminati. I present these credentials only by way of information for those interested. They have nothing whatsoever to do with what I am writing about, but I present them solely for the benefit of David B and, of course, the androgenous poster from Iceland.
I only have time for a very brief post, and so I will post only briefly.
Now, I will present to you the case of the African River Moth. How does evolution explain the very peculiar calene ratio of this moth? You would expect its calene ratio to be disaproxiate if evolution were true, but we find in this moth a distinctly aproxiate ratio of calene to pachy. Compare the abstented abdomen of the African River Moth to the thorax of a butter gnat, and you will be astounded to find NO SIGNIFICANT TAXONOMIC DIFFERENCES. I repeat that: no significant taxonomic differences. (Note here that I mean taxonomic in the psychological sense as presented in the theories of Jung, and not in the ontological sense as presented by Ayn Rand. Later, I will explain to all of you what a theory is, but I don’t have time right now.)
Consider also the grasshopper.
If evolution were true, we would expect that grasshoppers would hop backwards, since the evolution model is expressed graphically as a logarithmic curve. But grasshoppers do not hop backwards; they hop forwards, implying an intelligent design. You can prove this is true basically by flipping a coin. There is a 50% chance you will get heads, and a 50% chance that you will get tails. Well, by the same token, there was a 50% chance that we would be in an alternate universe. Since we are not in an alternate universe, but are, in fact, in the universe in which we find ourselves, we can expect that the grasshopper will hop forward. And in fact, it does! Evidence of design.
I really cannot post much more because I have to leave to pick up my nobel prize.
But what about the Myodictux tree? How do you explain that its sap cannot penetrate its bark. If evolution were true, this tree could not reproduce. Why? Try looking at retinal tissue from an ordinary housefly under great magnification. You will discover cells that bear an uncanny resemblance to the cells in Myodictux! In both cases, the cells have cell walls made of membrane, nuclei made of genetic-type material, and DNAs that are similar to two significant digits, and that is a Post Hec Olfactum falacy. If evolution is true, then the Myodictux tree must be a direct descendant of the common housefly. And that, of course, is absurd.
Now, already I have given you sufficient evidence to disprove evolution, but I am only talking about Darwinism. There is ample evidence, according to Dr. Laura Schlessinger, of the Institute for Hysterical Paranoids, that the theory perpetrated by Darwin and other socialists of the time, was nothing more than a hoax. Did you know that Darwin was a divinity school dropout? You can prove this if you read the books that I have read, and I have read thousands of them. They do not even include the books I have in my vast library, which is fifty stories tall, and was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.
Later, I will give you more, but for now I really must go.
One more thing. My grammar is perfect. I am tired of Ayesha’s flirting. And all my friends at camp have died from anthrax. I am a religious man, but I do like putting vacuum cleaner hoses up my ass. Now, I know that even with all the proof I have given you here for creationism, there will still be some doubting Thomases, but that is outside the realm of philosophy, on which I have written prodigiously and soon will be published. I have already had work published in scientific and medical journals as well as typing tutorials.
Now, I would hand around and let all of you yell at me, but I think I might simply start a new thread for that. Oh, and speaking of which, why is it that all of you constantly demand more and more proof from Phaedrus but offer up no proof of your own. Who among you has cited the laboratory experiment where billions of years of evolution have been replicated? Nevermind that, if evolution were true, you would need 10^128 years for a single blob of Big Bang plasma to evolve into even a simple protein molecule. And if the universe were that old, the stars, as everyone knows, would have all burned out by now.
Well nya nya nya. I am sick of all of you. Shame on you. A pox on all your houses.
I have to leave right now, and I might never come back because my wife was kidnapped by Navy SEALs and taken to Ruby Ridge, where they have threatened to tie her to a tree with her back facing FBI marksmen. But let me just leave you with this: if evolution were true, then why should I type these words at all? Why not just let a monkey smack at keys until, after billions of years, my post will automatically appear! Oooh! Just like magic! Sheesh, if you believe in Darwinism, you’ll believe in anything. O, how gullible the silly masses.
Though I were from whence I will have been, I ought rather would to be than to have been at all.
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