The original host of Hollywood Squares once referred to Kentucky Derby horse Seattle Slew as “Seattle Jew.”
On the old $10,000 Pyramid, the celebrity player was trying to get the contestand to name things you see at a football game.
The celebrity said, "This is something a cheerleader waves.
The contestant ventured, “Tampons?”
Please post here real bloopers you have heard on TV or radio, rather than what is in Kermit Schafer’s collections.
TV Quiz Show - Family Fortunes
The following are ACTUAL answers given by contestants on “Family
Fortunes” in the UK.
Name something a blind person might use
A sword
Name a song with moon in the title
Blue Suede Moon
Name a bird with a long neck
Naomi Campbell
Name an occupation where you need a torch
A burglar
Name a famous brother and sister
Bonnie & Clyde
Name an item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers
A horse
Name something that floats in the bath
Water
Name something you wear on the beach
A deckchair
Name something Red
My cardigan
Name a famous cowboy
Buck Rogers
Name a number you have to memorize
7
Name something you do before going to bed
Sleep
Name something you put on walls
Roofs
Name something in the garden that’s green
Shed
Name something that flies that doesn’t have an engine
A bicycle with wings
Name something you might be allergic to
Skiing
Name a famous bridge
The bridge over troubled waters
Name something you do in the bathroom
Decorate
Name an animal you might see at the zoo
A dog
Name something associated with the police
Pigs
Name a sign of the zodiac
April
Name something slippery
A conman
Name a kind of ache
Fillet ‘O’ Fish
Name a food that can be brown or white
Potato
Name a jacket potato topping
Jam
Name a famous Scotsman
Jock
Name another famous Scotsman
Vinnie Jones
Name something with a hole in it
Window
Name a non-living object with legs
Plant
Name a domestic animal
Leopard
Name a part of the body beginning with ‘N’
Knee
Name a way of cooking fish
Cod
Name a famous royal
Mail
Name a dangerous race
The Arabs
I just had to share this:
You all, no doubt, remember Card Sharks, the game show that required people to yell “Higher!” or “Lower!” and hope for the best? Recently I saw a rerun of an episode on the Game Show network. The question was, “How many men (out of 100) have ever slapped themselves to wake themselves up?”
Traditionally, before answering, the contestant would give a little explanation for the number. The hick on the show started out with, “Well, I know sometimes when you’ve been drinking you gotta wake yourself up a little before you drive home…” My jaw just dropped. And, the show being from the 70s, no one else even batted an eyelash.
I know, not really a blooper, but…had to share.
Once on “Family Feud” the question was “Name a country that receives a lot of snow.”
The woman replied “Germany.”
Audience chuckles.
Family jumps up and down with “Good answer! Good answer!”
Dawson looks deadpan at the camera and says, “We all know about the dreaded German snow. It not only falls down, but it surrounds the village.”
Here is a Jeopardy blooper that never aired:
Many years ago, the “answer” was “If you believe in fairies, you believe in me.”
The contestant responded “Who is Liberace?”
According to Art Fleming (who related this on Letterman’s old NBC late-night program in the early '80’s), the “answer” was aired, but the “question” was not.
Another game show was called “Jackpot,” hosted by Geoff Edwards.
One of the questions was “What kind of dance might you expect a Playboy Playmate to do?”
The “proper” answer was “the bunny hop.”
The contestant answered “the hora.” (sp?, sorry, but I’m not very proficient with Hebrew) 
This was related by Geoff Edwards in an article in TV Guide back in the mid-70’s.
This is one from a local news broadcast:
About 15 years ago, on April 15 (or whatever night it was supposed to be) there was the usual news clip of last-minute tax filers at the local post office.
The local anchor says something like “We now switch you to Dave Roberts live at the Post Office.”
We see Dave Roberts on the tube next, fumbling with his earpiece, apparently unaware that he’s on camera.
Whatever trouble he had with it, he (apparently again) did not hear that he was on.
He fiddles for a second, then loudly says “SHIT!”
We next see the local anchor, who promptly goes on to the next story.
He was no longer seen on that station after that.
When I lived in Wisconsin, I used to watch a local tv movie show out of Green Bay. The host would call people to give away money, if they knew the answer to a question. He got a bar one day, where the bartender responded with, ‘Are you shittin’ me?’ The tv host tried to laugh it off.
Another local news story: They did a little cute short clip showing little kids dressed up as angels for christmas or god knows what. Well then they seque over to the weather lady, doing their little news anchor chit chat, and the weather lady says in a cute high voice “I’m a little angel!” and then continues on with the weather. Nobody missed a beat, but I bet they made fun of her something fierce about it.
CBC Radio, The World at Six, c. 1993. It was the closing news story, which is often a quirky item. It concerned a pair of panty hose once worn by Queen Victoria that were put up for sale or placed in a museum or something. The announcer closed the piece with:
“The man inherited the pantyhose from his grandfather, who wore them at an auction in 1938.”
“WON them at an auction in…” LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH
Many years ago,when reagan was president,a local,inexplicably popular anchor(Denise) was trying to say in the third month of his presidency,but said the third month of his pregnancy!
Our local paper ran a story about the state Supreme Court considering zoning rules for topless bars. The headline:
“High Court Taking Up Nude Dancing.”
Fortunately, no pictures.
The company that employs me has a company newsletter.
One article detailed training for women in fields that were traditionally male.
The headline for the article:
“Company explores new postions for women.”
On a local news program, the female anchor was announcing some event where “George Clinton and the Parliament FUCKadelic” would perform. While she was saying it, they showed footage of the band, so you couldn’t see her, but you could tell by her voice that she was about to crack up over her mistake!
“There comes a time in a man’s life when he asks himself, ‘Who will float my corpse down the Ganges?’” – Apu
I saw this news blooper one time that made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt. I guess the usual news anchor was out sick or something, so they had the weatherman fill in for him. Now this weatherman was no spring chicken and I don’t think you could have gotten a smile out of him if you threatened him with death. Anyway, as he was doing the news he began the story about some politician that had recently died. As a lot of stories about the death of someone end with the anchor telling the person’s age, this one did too. However, the guy says "John Doe dead. He was thirty nine degrees. Not only did he say this once, but he came back to it on two more occasions to correct himself, but each time saying thirty nine degrees. This was funny enough, but what made me really laugh was that through all of this the guy never came close to cracking a smile. What a pro. Classic moment in television news.
"What’s another word for Thesaurus? --Steven Wright
I saw a replay of the original Newly Wed Game on some show a while back and the host had asked the girls to describe the husband in royalty terms or some such. Anyway one of the girls said her husband was a closet queen. The husband was furious. I never laughed so hard.
HUGS!
Sqrl
Gasoline: As an accompaniement to cereal it made a refreshing change. Glen Baxter
My wife and I watched the recent Amy Grant Christmas Special. At the beginning, she’s welcoming all her guests to some ski lodge in Canada. When she’s welcoming the group 98[sup]o[/sup], she says something like, “thanks for helping me bring in the last Christmas of 1999.”
Damn! I missed the first one!
Was this the Christmas in July that all the advertisers talked about?
Dennis James, in addition to being a game show host, also was a pro ‘rasslin’ announcer.
He related this story (my paraphrasing):
"We used all kinds of sound effects when we were doing the matches.
"When one wrestler was twisting another’s arm or leg, we would have a bundle of straw that we would twist to make crackling noises.
“When a wrestler was picking another up or throwing him down, we would use slide whistles for those motions.”
"And we loved to make up rhymes while we did matches.
"Once, there was a wrestler named “Tarzan Hewitt” who was in the ring. At one point in the match, I said ‘And look at the suet on Hewitt.’
"Hewitt promptly left the ring and came over to me and said, ‘Don’t talk about my weight.’
"Some months later we were on a live TV program as guests, and we were doing a wrestling demonstration–I as announcer, he as wrestler (I don’t know who the ‘opponent’ was).
"At one point during the demonstration, I again said, ‘And look at the suet on Hewitt.’
“He quit what he was doing, came over to me, and on live TV, said, 'I already told you one time–DON’T talk about my weight.”
BTW as 'rasslers often do, “Tarzan Hewitt” was known by various names, including “Tarzan Tyler.”
In 1980 we were watching the daytime news on Channel 2, KNXT in Los Angeles. At the end of a business-news segment, the newsman said that, although the gas shortage of 1979 was over, people were not going back to buy big cars.
As he finished his sentence, a light bulb exploded in the studio with a loud bang!
(My brother commented, “Well, there goes Mr. Iacocca.”)
As some of you may or may not know, there is quite a lack of snow in Winnipeg, Manitoba this year. In fact, there isn’t any snow at all, yet, from what I’ve heard.
Anyway, last week, a local reporter ran his column in the local paper, complaining about how he was upset that there still wasn’t any snow. Imagine my surprise, when, upon opening the paper, the headline sprang out at me reading:
“I Just Can’t Wait For That First Big Dump!”
Civility costs nothing.
At our local Wal-Mart they had a sales flyer posted for a Winnie the Pooh doll. the flyer read
“Baby’s First Pooh” $7.99
You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!!
My favorite headline was when the Seattle Mariners were looking to trade the “Big Unit” Randy Johnson. USA Today’s headline was “Mariners Dangle Johnson.”
I was watching the 1992 Stanley Cup and during the National Anthem someone didn’t realize his mike was “live” and sang in tune instead of “and the rocket’s red glare,” sang “…And my asshole is sore.” There was a click and then back to normal. Never did know if it was national or a local cable operator.