BLUE BALLS! (is there a doctor in the house?(TMI))

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Well, it’s finally happened. I have somehow acquired a girlfriend. Or…something. I’m not sure we’ve figured our exact situation out (long story, maybe I’ll make another post :stuck_out_tongue: ) Anyway, that’s not the point of this post.

We spent Saturday together doing…stuff. Stuff for about 6 hours. It was pretty much all about her (which I didn’t have a problem with). She attempted to try and reciprocate but I was surprised to discover that I’m rather ticklish. Down there. Every time she reached I just started cracking up, but I told her not to worry, that I didn’t mind just catering to her needs. Well, about halfway through, she offered to go all the way, but I had to go to the bathroom pretty bad. Well, I must have switched up the piping because that’s when the pain first hit. I sort of lost the desire to go all the way, but felt fine about resuming what we had already been doing.

Well, after another 3 hours, I finally get ready to leave. I get in the car, and it hits like a ton of bricks. My prostate feels like it’s about to explode. I get home 45 minutes later, run to the bathroom and discovered that I was rather swollen down below. I couldn’t even get excited enough to remedy the situation because of the discomfort. It took another two hours for the pain to go away.

I can only assume this is what everyone refers to when they talk about blue balls. But people usually joke about them. This was no joking matter! This must have been what women feel like when they get uterine cramps! Doing a bit of reading on the subject didn’t help my naturally paranoid ways. Turns out blue balls can do serious damage? OH SHIT! :eek:

I need to know if there are any resident doctors here on the board. What exactly are the odds of doing permanent damage from not climaxing during a sexual encounter? An article right here on the Dope actually dropped the big C word (but then again, what in this world DOESN’T cause cancer?)

So…am I endangering my life unless I ejaculate every single time I’m with my girlfriend?

2

Well that really should be your story. However, that sounds just like what blue balls feel like. I felt like hitting a couple of (female) teachers in high school that explained to all of us (especially the girls) that blue balls are a myth that guys use to pressure females into sex. Sorry, but no. They are very real. If they were truly dangerous, I think that I would have been dead long ago. I am 31 now and everything seems to work as good as ever. However, I have found that blue balls are much more rare or almost nonexistant when you get older.

3

Fear not, my young padawan.

The Master Speaks

4

I’ve seen female dopers on this board proclaim the same thing. :smack: I only recall having them on 2 occasions (both right around the time of a new girlfriend and messing around but no big finale) – believe me when I say they are quite real and it isn’t fun at all.

5

I’m just going to say the same as everyone else. First couple of times with my new girlfriend, I got hit with a bad case on the drive back to her house after some time spent in the back of my car. I was kind of embarassed at the time to explain my discomfort. I still haven’t told her.

It’s real and it hurts like a motherfuck.