WARNING - LONG POST
Hee hee - Do I have experience with this!!!
My daughter is someone that I cannot describe well enough for you to really get the big picture. She is the most compassionate, accepting, and creative person that I have ever known - ever. She has a very happy, bubbly personality and is the type of person who will light up a room just by walking in. I swear, this girl will one day become a famous comedian. She is never NOT smiling.
She is gorgeous! Sparkling, sky blue eyes; clear, china doll skin (no zits - AT ALL); naturally pink lips; and beautiful hair.
She has always been this way.
You can understand the shock I felt when I came home from work one day and found that she had gone completely goth (she was half-way through 7th grade). Her long shiny hair was now dyed pitch black, white face makeup, black lipstick, she was wearing the goth clothing (long black ragged hemmed dress; ripped fishnets; torn black lace gloves without fingers; etc. . . ). She had also dyed her contacts hot pink (they were clear to begin with).
I left the room, counted to 20 (or maybe it was 200000), and then sat down and talked to her. She wasn’t possessed by satan and she wasn’t into drugs or devil worshiping, she had simply become friends with some of the goths at school (she has good friends from every school cliche) and liked the look so they gave her a make-over.
I got to know these goth kids really well and even though they looked very bizarre, they were (and still are) great kids.
For the next two years her looks went from goth to punk. Her hair went from waist length to spiked to partially shaved and changed from blue, purple, green, orange, white, pink, to yellow. The weird clothes (you think goth is strange) - the whole nine yards.
Then after punk, she got into the anarchy thing. Shaved her head (I had a problem with this one - for a second), wore the scarfs and the t-shirts that make political statements, got involved with PETA (she still is) and other organizations, and got involved with government issues.
All of this in the span of 4 years.
Some people would disagree with my methods - that’s fine, let them raise their kids and I’ll raise mine. My daughter gets good grades, never got into any trouble, doesn’t drink, smoke, or do drugs, was responsible, her attitude is wonderful (how many other teenagers do you know who will hold hand, hug, and kiss her mom and brothers and say “I love you” in public?!?! The person she is never changed. Hair color and clothing are not permanent.
I know my daughter. She is passionate in everything that it important to her. Had I forbid her from doing these things, I think that she would be less the person that she is today. I know that our relationship would be strained and she may have rebelled and gotten into the drinking, drugs, and other trouble. Being there with her as she went through these phases was the best thing I could have done for the both of us. She respects me for letting her test the waters.
She is now 16 years old. She looks “normal”, whatever that is. Her contacts are clear (she has the eye-color people pay to have their contacts tinted), her hair is blonde and a cute style, her clothing is what you would see other teens wear.
She still goes to the concerts (doesn’t do the mosh pit anymore - THANK GOD), still has good friends of all types, and wants her eyebrow peirced as one of her Christmas presents.
My advice to you, is to let him experiment. More than likely, he’ll get it out of his system and sooner or later turn back into your son
Please tell your pants it’s not polite to point.