Bob Barker is a dog!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I realized it just this morning - Bob Barker is a shapeshifting dog in human form.

After transforming himself into a human many years ago, he spent the next half-century finding some way to make life better for himself when he changed back to dog form. Eventually he hit upon a plan - he would access the massive audience that television was sure to provide, and then spread his message far and wide. Game shows seemed not only a popular medium, but also one where a good host could stay as long as he wanted.
Once ensconced on a show of his own, he began delivering the message :“Have your pets spayed or neutered”. After years of propagating the idea, he is finally satisfied that enough pets are ‘taken care of’ in order for him to revert to his dog form and spend the days living his dream - having days and days of consequence-free sex.

2

I always wondered about his last name.

3

I always thought it was a stage name, after the old carny title for the guy who enticed people into the show tent, but it’s apparently his legitimate birth name: Robert William Barker.

4

Interesting theory. But what guy, bipedal or furry, wants his balls cut off? They’d prefer to leave a litter of puppies and move on to the next town. So I can’t see a dog advocating that.

(Great, now I’m thinking about Bob Barker’s testicles, thank a lot.)

5

Bob was born and raised on an Indian Reservation and is in fact, part Indian. I think you’re probably right, I’ll bet he has some big medicine in his bag.

Now, what would his Indian Name be?

Chances with Wolves?
Barking Wolf?

(…pshaw, I got nothing.)

6

No, he wants all the other dogs to be snipped - that way he gets to be the top dog. And if he does get caught, he can always transform into human form, pretend he’s just ‘visiting’ the vet’s office to promote his cause, and sneak out before anyone notices one of the strays brought in is gone. Getting some clothes might be a problem … (great, now I’m thinking of a naked Bob Barker in the back of the dogcatcher’s truck).

For the females, it works out for him too. Nothing worse than having the bitch track you down, trying to get you to visit your puppies.

7

I thought he was a vampire.

8

Bob’s medicine bag… They should have that game…
Let’s devise a new Price is Right game!

I love this show, I love Bob. I’m really having a difficult time digesting Bob’s retirement. Zeitgeist got teeth, man! He means more to me than Carson.