Was it REALLY necessary to post this here instead of, say, the Pit thread?
Why single out this one Issue as Special? It’s quite simple. One member didn’t like a comment directed at them from another member and asked them to stop. The “offending member”* did not. The options are already available: Report the post, take it to the Pit, ignore it and move on. Just because this particular case happens to be about a female body part shouldn’t make it any different or more special than any other time the same scenario is played out.
To answer the other questions: I think it’s immature and obnoxious to bring in any kind of sadly inadequate attempt at flirtation or titillation to a serious discussion where someone is seeking serious advice and simply reflects poorly on the member posting such a thing. But, as Zoe said, it’s much like my 8 year old interrupting a discussion to try to get me to say “underwear”. It’s just a bit harder to give the Death Stare of Inappropriateness on a message board.
In an already flirtatious discussion, or even one that has devolved that way, if you’ve read the SDMB for any length of time and don’t expect it, you need to have your reading glasses checked. It’s what happens. If you don’t like it, stay out of those threads.
*yes, I said ‘member’…
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Inappropriate.
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Stupid when anyone else does it, but when* I* do it, it’s hilarious. There’s something about me…
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I’ll go with this, if only because twickster suggested it, and she’s got a good head on her shoulders.
In the Pit thread – which is longer than the Old Testament at this point, and I’d understand not wanting to wade into it – a whole bunch of women commented on this issue as one that had long bothered them that they’d been hesitant to raise. I volunteered to raise it.
(And, bup, thanks. blush)
Yes, you’re right. We should only post comments that are in support of an idea in a thread that proposes to make that idea a community standard. Daring to voice opposition to that proposal has no place in such a discussion.
:dubious:
That was “disagreement”? I thought it was a perfect example of what we were talking about trying to avoid, right down to the mind-bogglingly inane reference to “miracle mounds.” I think an intelligently phrased and well thought out disagreement would be received just fine. Though that post did serve as an object lesson if nothing else.
I was protesting the inanity in an ATMB thread, not the concept of disagreement–I’m about as middle-of-the-road in this debate as one can get.
I was one of the women who said this in the other thread. I don’t believe I’d ever posted about this topic before Tracy’s Pit thread, but it’s something that’s bothered me for a long time. I had little inclination to start my own Pit thread about it because I could predict how it would go. Tracy was either braver or more foolish than I was. If anything her thread turned out to be even longer and uglier than I’d have guessed.
I appreciate twickster starting the discussion here, and the fact that most respondents are keeping things civil and focusing on the bigger picture rather than the Tracy incident in particular.
I’m sure that a lot of times when Dopers make “I can haz b00bie pics?” type jokes they don’t really mean anything by it. They’re just imitating similar posts that they’ve seen and aren’t giving much thought to the thread’s tone or whether such remarks might seem rude, offensive, or creepy to others. Probably some never even imagined that anyone might be bothered by this kind of thing. If nothing else I hope this discussion will encourage people to think a little bit more before posting. It’s important to consider the topic and tone of the thread, and whether a remark is more likely to be seen as a contribution or an interruption.
From the cited cite
Wonder how you get 13.8 teats? Or 12.6 for that matter? :rolleyes:
Going along in response to the OP,
Boob jokes in serious conversations not about boobs should get warnings, with blocks if it intentionally continues beyond the warnings.
Boob jokes in flirty threads – that’s fine, that’s what they are there for. If the person doing the flirting isn’t interested they can spell it out, and then if someone continues past that, again, warnings and possibly blocks.
What we can do without changing rules: current rules allow warnings and blocks, they just need to be enforced. There are varying degrees of offenses, so the mod staff should take that into account. Some of the recent behavior, which includes thread stalking to discuss boobs in completely unrelated threads, needs very stern warnings and blocks. some of thee threads are outright harassment of the most immature, boorish and ignorant kind. It’s offensive to have that on any website but especially jarring on a site that’s supposed to be about fighting ignorance. Maybe it’s the high percentage of socially awkward and lonely types, but they need to be trained, gently or not so gently if necessary, to get past that kind of behavior or avoid those threads entirely. Acting like a crazed stalker type is just not cool.
Well, Dan, with three whole examples, and one of those a thread about misunderstood signals, I’d want a lot more evidence before I started declaring anybody a stalker. Are your panties really that bunched?
:rolleyes:
And thus, proving the OP’s point.
Sorry, Twix, wasn’t clear in my intent - -I wasn’t asking you why you started this thread. I understand you’re representing what is being said in the other thread. My response is to why it’s being singled out as a separate issue in that thread to the point where the need to bring it up here became apparent. To me it’s under the umbrella of the Don’t be a Jerk issue, rather than a separate sexist issue. There are many ways people are jerks and this is just one of them.
Hope that clarifies.
- People sometimes ask about breasts inappropriately.
- People sometimes post about their breasts inappropriately.
- The people who do (1) sometimes act shocked that someone would take offense a their flirting.
- The people who do (2) sometimes act shocked that anyone would take offense at their flirting.
- The people who do (1) and (2) both get on my nerves.
- I’m getting older and angrier all the time.
- We don’t need a new rule over any of the above.
You can’t control what people post. With hundreds of active posters it’s a sure thing that someone is going to see a thread about breasts and post “cite” or “show us your boobs” or something, convinced that this is hilarious and a joke no one has ever made before. Obviously this is out of line in a serious thread on breast health. I don’t think it’s that annoying in a flirting thread, though it’s really lame. YMMV. The best strategy is simply to ignore it. It’s just a post. Why are you (the general you) compelled to respond to every nonsense annoying post someone makes?
We don’t need any more rules. Rules should be reserved for things like death threats, hate speech (maybe), and blatant and obvious trolling. That’s it.
Not a hard and fast rule, but This.
Along similar lines: I am also annoyed that anytime anyone mentioned the word gay or equivalent, someone must come in and quote the lame Jerry Seinfeld “joke” not that there’s anything wrong with that.
If there were no doubt in your mind that there was nothing wrong with it, you wouldn’t make this idiotic joke. Over. And Over. And Over.
I’m neither a woman nor gay, so I guess neither of things *really *pushes my buttons. Maybe I would feel differently if I were either. But I guess my point is, we can search for stupidity and start making a long (LONG) list, or we can cover it all with “don’t be a jerk.”
If I may summarize what I understand to be the emerging consensus:
General agreement that making boob jokes in a serious discussion involving breasts (esp., but not only, medical threads) is an example of being a jerk, so flag the post for attention by a mod.
Less agreement about how bothersome boob comments are in light-hearted threads, since there are a bunch of different kinds of non-serious threads.
[ul]
[li]If you don’t like “cite?” jokes, don’t read flirt threads – that’s what goes on in them.[/li][li]Don’t throw in an irrelevant mention of your boobs if you don’t want people commenting on them.[/li][li]Make it clear in the OP if you’d like to keep the thread joke-free if it’s a topic that has proven in the past to evoke those jokes (e.g., bras); if someone makes jokes anyway, flag the post(s) for a mod.[/li][li]If someone does end up commenting in a way you find bothersome or offensive, ask that person to stop. If he or she doesn’t, flag the exchange for a mod.[/ul][/li]
Overall: We don’t need new rules or new ways of dealing with this specific issue, since it’s all under the existing umbrella of “Don’t be a jerk.”
Are y’all good with this?
Guess you haven’t been paying attention to this thread let alone the rest of the site.
That’s how you argue *against *the idea that people are making inappropriate comments based upon their immature obsession with what’s under other people’s clothing?
I want your evidence of thread stalking.