The administration tells people to “knock it off” based on the posting rules. We don’t need people running around junior-modding fellow posters.
These are pixels on a screen. There’s no such thing as “interrupting.” No one can stop you from having a serious discussion if you want one. To the extent that people make serious contributions, their purity isn’t contaminated by obnoxious/unfunny/offensive jokes.
By that rationale, which I’m not saying is entirely wrong btw, why censor anything? Hate speech, death threats, calling someone a cunt, all of it is words on a screen and can be scrolled past. None of it is “real” so nothing should offend anyone.
I disagree. There is such thing as “interrupting” in a message board. Many people are repelled from thread where someone is being a jerk. Ditto for threads shat on, hijacked, turned into A vs B, et multiple cetera.
Yes I read that thread, sorry, I mis-wrote the order of the threads. Was in a hurry this morning before work and didn’t take time to proofread before I hit enter.
We don’t need people running around making a bunch of stupid boobie jokes either.
Then there should be no problem with telling a poster that their stupid boobie jokes are unwelcome. It wouldn’t be interrupting the thread, and anyone who doesn’t like reading “Knock it off with the stupid boobie jokes already” is of course always free to ignore such posts.
If just ignoring repetitive posts that you find obnoxious doesn’t seem like a very good solution to you, then you should understand why I don’t think it’s a very good solution when it comes to repetitive posts that I find obnoxious.
I could at least understand the position that everyone should just say whatever they like, although that has never been the way things worked here. But I don’t at all understand why it should be considered perfectly acceptable for men to ask women to post pictures of their breasts and yet at the same time totally over the line for anyone to say they find such remarks inappropriate.
The reason is precisely because this is stated in the language of imperative. An administrator gets to tell a poster what to do. A fellow poster doesn’t.
I’m perfectly happy to ignore both “show me your boobs!” and “I wish you would stop asking me to show you my boobs!”
Feel free to express your displeasure at any kind of post, so long as it isn’t couched in the language of authority. The thing is that you can do that anyway. This thread doesn’t change that. You’re looking for special protection.
Emphasis mine.
I’m more than a little surprised to discover that you see this as a grammatical issue. But since you do, I have to point out that “Show me your boobs!” is in the imperative mood. I guess some uses of the imperative don’t bother you that much.
Ah, so it’s okay for you to tell other people how to post, but no one else is allowed to do so.
Asking people to think before they post and to stop making offensive jokes when asked is not looking for special protection. It’s just asking people not to be jerks.
[quote=“Lamia, post:107, topic:490371”]
Emphasis mine.
I’m more than a little surprised to discover that you see this as a grammatical issue. But since you do, I have to point out that “Show me your boobs!” is in the imperative mood.
It’s not a matter of grammar. It’s a matter of intent. No one seriously interprets “show me your boobs!” as a serious request.
What is this thread about? It’s about asking for special dispensation to boss fellow posters around. If not, then there’s no point. You are already free to object to stupid remarks same as always. You are already free to report posts you consider to be harassment or otherwise in violation of the board rules. If what you want is nothing more than the same right that the “show me your boobs!” poster is exercising, you already have that right. So this conversation is pointless.
Well, I’m not the one who started this thread, but I don’t think twickster’s intent is for anyone to have special bossing privileges. Maybe you should re-read her OP.
If you don’t see any point to this conversation then I’m sure you can find a better way to spend your time.
If this conversation is not about changing the board rules, then it’s a pointless conversation.
If this conversation is about changing the board rules, then I am interested in stating my opposition.
Which is it?
As the OP:
I never suggested or advocated changing rules. I was trying to get a sense of whether there were people who were offended by certain jokes that appear on a regular basis without comment. It turns out there are. I also suggested we discuss ways of dealing with this – since numerous women said they felt uncomfortable participating in some conversations that have proven to be likely to be interrupted with these jokes. It turns out that the consensus is that most people find the behavior “jerkish” and thus suitable for reporting to mods. Nothing new there – except we’ve talked about it, and found that a lot of people have strong feelings about it.
Back in the day, we called it consciousness raising – women finding out that other women have had similar experiences, and men finding out that certain things they do are offensive to some women.
So what are the expectations? What will is it hoped or expected that will change?
“Show me your boobs!” comments are posted and reported and the result is warnings and bannings? That’s essentially a new rule.
“Show me your boobs!” comments are posted and reported and there are no resulting warnings and bannings? Nothing changes because the bell curve includes some number of “Show me your boobs!” comments/posters.
Warnings and bannings would follow only if the poster had been informed that such comments weren’t welcome and persisted in making them anyway. Not a new rule.
The best result I could think of would be that posters who might be considering making such a comment in a thread would consider the sort of thread concerned before posting the comment. I would also consider it a good result if posters who are offended by such comments felt free to say so without having to put up with people taking them to task for daring to object. What I think will happen after reading this thread and participating in the one in the pit is that nothing will change. Whether or not this is a good thing will of course depend on your views; I’m sorry to think it will be that way because I expect more from people on this board but perhaps I’m wrong to do so.
There are likely some percentage of posters whose behavior would be modified by what they perceive as community norms. Just because there are also posters whose behavior won’t be modified doesn’t make the effort pointless.
Generally no, it does not bother be, but in more serious threads it’s been inappropriate, even when it is meant to add some friendly levity to a more sombre thread.
In a thread that already has silliness and flirting etc. No, it’s pretty much expected.
It would have to be a case-by-case kind of decision wouldn’t it? If I post a thread saying “I think I need to change my bra size.” and a guy posts: “Cite! We need to see for ourselves.” it’s quite different than a guy posting the same thing in response to “I can see swelling on my one breast and I’m afraid I’m sick.”
I don’t think a formal “report this post” button is necessary. I think most posters in general, if told directly, “Buddy, that was inappropriate and not funny” would apologize. If they continued and persisted, they’d be violating the “don’t be a jerk” rule anyway and earn a formal reprimand, I’d think. Overall, I find it only mildly irksome on rare occasions.
(Female. haven’t even looked at the Pit thread.)
Exactly. Just because it won’t be enshrined in a rule doesn’t mean the issue is not worth discussing. I am sure that just because of this thread, a guy or two might refrain from making a silly comment in a future breast-related thread. Baby steps.
No, not a new rule. Just a rule that is applied capriciously. Sound familiar?
So, if I was a guy, and I was contemplating making a “Cite?” comment, I have to make sure that the recipient is ok with it? Or be worried that she’s going to get her panties in a twist? Or maybe she’s ok with it in normal circumstances but today she was late for work, forgot her lunch, and is kinda pissy, so today she’s going to email a mod that it’s inappropriate?
Seriously, if this kind of mild interaction upsets you, stay out of those threads.
And hopefully, given that we’ve also clarified another social norm around here, a woman or two may refrain from calling others sexist when they happen to reply to her comment about how amazing certain parts of her anatomy look.
Right, just like I have to make sure I don’t say whatever words are on some list I’ve never looked at. Because I need protection from things that might make me a tad uncomfortable, maybe.
Fucking thought police.
Think this.
Most definitely. Yes.
Huh?. That it was said here won’t MAKE anyone do anything but it might LEAD some to notice that the behavior they thought nothing of was annoying to some. I am not saying you have to do or not do anything. Just that by discussing it here, some people might change their stance on the matter.
By talking things over (which is kind of the point of message boards to begin with), we come as a group to certain conventions and practices.
Think of some other practices here that are not in the rules. Some degree of attention to spelling and grammar, bolding usernames, etc. Some people do it, some people don’t. They bother some people, some others don’t even notice. Some people think they are stupid, some people make them religion. Whatever.
There is no price to pay for failing to observe these. They are just there as part of the group thought. No thought police, just being a bit aware of where other people stand and being free to choose what to do with that.