Ah, the joys of the modern age, where all of my client data is safely and conveniently stored in a marvelously efficient database. Unfortunately, today, that database is non-functional. Our computer guru says something about rerouting main power through the deflector dish and recalibrating the hoffensaggle, which may fix the problem, eventually. Or not. He can’t be certain right now. My voice activated back up system is unavailable, because she called in sick this morning.
Thus, I find myself unable to protect the rights of the lowly and downtrodden today. The tired, hungry, and poor are equally hosed. Such is life.
However, you, yes YOU can help. All you have to do is post witty or entertaining stories and/or work-safe links to satisfactory diversions. Not only will you be protecting America, you’ll become a beacon of light in a sea of darkness. And stuff.
So a few years ago I lost a pair of treasured earrings. They had some value as they were 14K gold and had lovely caged drops with a pearl encased in each. They had belonged to my grandmother and were part of a set: necklace, earrings, bracelet.
I couldn’t imagine where they’d gone. Sadly, I immediately thought it was the cleaning lady. She had the odd habit of “borrowing” my shoes from time to time. I only figured it out because the strap and buckle would be moved to a wider hole.
A few months after I was attending a pool party for the friend of my son. There were lots of people there from the neighbourhood, and wasn’t the hostess wearing my earrings!!! The nerve! In my head I pictured her child rummaging through our house to find a nice present for Mother’s Day or something.
I’m not sure why I showed good sense, but I commented on the earrings and she told me - oh, yes, I love these. They were my Aunt’s - I have a whole set with the necklace, and bracelet too! Oo-kay . . .
Then one night I had a dream that great treasure was tucked in a black evening purse I own. I got up and looked in the purse - and it was true! My earrings were right there in my purse. I hadn’t used the purse for over a year . . . huh.
A couple of weeks ago our database went down. I had just called in to the help desk when my project manager stormed into my office, smoke coming out of her ears, demanding to know what I’d done to break it. She didn’t buy that I hadn’t done a thing. She hovered over me, watching me try to fix it. I demonstrated to her in a number of ways that it was not something I had done to the web pages, but that SQL Server itself was not running. She demanded that I call the help desk again, with this missive: “And hurry.” She was satisfied that because of this action, she was, indeed, managing.
I have tons of downtime at work every day. I usually do either Sudoku or crossword puzzles, or come on here to play. Of course, if the Dope’s been slow that day, I get very tired of thinking up words and numbers. Maybe y’all need to entertain me too.
Fortunately, my telephone is working today, so I was able to accomplish a couple of minor things. I’ll be dropping off some settlement papers at lunch, and expect to sign an agreed order of continuance in another case. Neither matter was as entertaining as this thread, short though it currently is.
