Boss says: “Good job lately- we appreciate the hard work you’re doing.” Boss means: “That raise you’ve been waiting on? That was it.”
Boss says: “Good times, good times.” Boss means: “You’re going to wish you were fucked with a chainsaw instead of coming into work next week.”
Boss says: “Who should I protect in my fantasy league? Warner or Harrison?” Boss means: “I want someone to blame when I lose again this year. Oh, and don’t take this as license to talk to others about your league. Get back to work.”
Boss says: "We all know that this isn’t a 40-hour a week job. Everyone will have to start doing 9-hour days now. Boss means: “I know you’re usually here for eleven or twelve hours a day, but I’ll pretend to ignore that and demand that you work harder so I can make my numbers. It’s easier than getting more headcount.”
Former boss (attorney): I’ve got just a few changes to make on this will. Means: it’ll only take 2-3 hours. And then the client will want to change it again.
Former boss (sales amanger): I need to add just a few data points to this graph. Means: and then a few more, and then I’ll delete some and add others…
Former co-worker (at stockbroker): Can you help me with my filing? Means: Can you do my filing?
Poddy’s Advisor sez: Let’s meet for about a half hour at 3:00 so you can catch me up on your project. Poddy’s Advisor means: Let’s meet for about three hours starting at 3:45 (because that’s when you’ll finally be able to track me down) so that I can make you re-explain everything you’ve done on your project for the last 4 months.
hardygrrl’s boss says I have a little project for you to do between calls.
hardygrrl’s boss means Here’s a list of 250 accounts. Please review each account, determine what kind of fraud occurred on each account, and make me a report with a snazzy piechart.
hardygrrl’s boss says As a stockholder…
hardygrrl’s boss means I have a 401k but not the ability to think for myself.