Jonah Lomu is my one (and I wouldn’t be surprised if Jim Laker popped up too 
)
Are you alive?
Did you burst onto the Hollywood scene in 1976 as the new Fay Wray?
Did you have to listen to bachelorettes ask questions like “If I were asleep and you were my alarm clock, how would you wake me up?”
Did you ever win a Tony for playing Edith Piaf?
Biffy, I don’t know who you mean. Ask your DQ.
Freudian, I’m not Julian Lennon (“Hey Jude”).
Sternvogel, I’m not Jesse Owens - if that’s who you meant, since he’s not a “JL.” If that’s not who you mean, I don’t know; ask a DQ.
astorian, I’m neither Jessica Lange, Jim Lange nor Jane Lapotaire.
I am not alive.
JL is:
- not alive
ETA: Nevermind.
Jack Lord. (“Book 'im, Dan-o!”)
Are you American?
Are you one of only 3 men to produce a Beatles record?
Did you win a Heisman for old Notre Dame?
Did Alec Baldwin order you to put down that coffee? (After all, that’s for closers!)
Did you overcome a sugar addiction as a child by transforming your life through good nutrition/exercise?
Did you warn Robert E. Lee that Pickett’s Charge was a bad idea?
Did you retire in 1966 as the winningest jockey in horse racing history?
Have you voiced both a cartoon cat and the superhero known as the Crimson Chin?
I am not a Beatles producer (Jeff Lynne), a Heisman winner (Johnny Lujack), a Glengarry character (James Lingk), an exercise nut (Jack LaLanne), uneasy about Pickett’s Charge (James Longstreet), a jockey (Johnny Longden), or an occasional cartoon voice actor (Jay Leno).
I’m not an American.
JL is:
- not alive
- not American
Did you co-author a book about spectacular chess?
Were you the most famous P.O.W. of the Iraq War?
Did you offer to have sex with The 40 Year Old Virgin?
Did you play Edina’s best friend?
Did you ask your audience, “Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?”