The TV version I saw was “My science teacher says I’m the best at it.” Guess that’s marginally better than incest…
Joe
That “skanky cousin” grew up to be Jane Krakowski .
Why make their own edited cut? Just show the damn film. It’s about a PG13 by todays standards. Ok, show it after 10, if you must. :mad:
Slacker: Well, no. But don;t listen to me. I thought Sopranos was just Ok, and without the nudity, swearing and violence, I wouldn’t bother at all.
But yes, I love Rome and Deadwood!
I’ve heard Dr Lecter says “I can smell your scent…” in the TV version.
In “Blues Brothers” the line “We had a band that could turn goat piss into gasoline” has been edited to “goat milk.”
In The Breakfast Club:
“slip her the hot beef injection”
was changed to
“slip her a little affection” in a really bad dub. It’s like they weren’t even trying.
The version I saw they cut out the “fucking” at the start of Steve’s diatribe:
“I don’t care for the way your…company left in the middle of…nowhere with…keys to a…car that isn’t…there”
The cuts in the audio were masked with inserts of Edie McClurg’s reaction shots and an over-the-shoulder of Steve Martin. I recall they used the same shots at least twice to make up for the time slips.
The second part (where he *really *gets going) was just cut altogether.
The Dylan Thomas radio play Under Milk Wood was set in a fictional Welsh port by the name of Llareggub (which is ‘bugger all’ written backwards) - this was changed to Llaregyb in the BBC broadcast with Richard Burton, and also in some printed editions.
[QUOTE=wolf_meister]
This goes way back, but when the movie “The Godfather” made it to network TV (about 1975?) they replaced “son of a bitch” with “son of a buck”. Just about everyone who saw it thought this was incredibly stupid.QUOTE]
November, 1974. “I don’t want my brother coming out of that toilet with just **his dick ** in his hand” became “**a stick ** in his hand.”
My favorite is from TBS’s version of Shoot to Kill. Sydney Poitier encounters a bear, his response of “Oh, shit” becomes “Oh, sheezy”; which I find to be much more satisfying 
Why would they want to turn goat piss into goat milk?
Someone mention Thw Sopranos on A&E. MadTV did a sketch a few years back featuring “The Sopranos on PAX” with episodes lasting approximately three minutes after editing.
Another movie they should never every try to show on “regular” television is one of my favorites, The Jerk. The protagonist’s dog is named “Shithead.” On WTBS, I think, they got around this by merely removing the “Shit” from the dialog, so throughout the film, you hear Steve Martin calling his dog like this: Here, [pause]head!
The one that always bothered me in Blazing Saddles was Lilly’s stage show, with the punchlines cut out. So “they’re always coming and going and going and coming… and always too soon [audience laughing]” becomes “there always coming and going and going and coming [audience laughing].” It’s just dumb.
This is reminicent of the TV edit of Stand By Me. One of the characters is nicknamed “Lardass.” There is one scene in which there is a flashback to an eating competition, and the crowd is cheering his nickname. The “ass” is removed, but there isn’t any attempt to make a pause between each utterance of “lard.” So it sounds rather unusual, like non-human almost. “Lardlardlardlardlard”
Carl Showalter, Steve Buscemi’s character in *Fargo, * makes frequent use of the “F” word as a modifier – he must say it a couple of hundred times. I can’t remember on which network I saw *Fargo * broadcast, but I recall “frozen” being one of the many, many alternates …
Janet Jackson’s nipple, the FCC, and idiots who can’t be bothered to change channels because they feel it’s their duty to take notes on everything on TV that they find objectionable.
A Canadian TV station, Show Case (“Television Without Borders”), used to run an ad campaign that makes fun of watching censored movies. One of their funniest was the line-up scene from The Usual Suspects with everyone saying “fuzzy socks” in virtually every sentence. (The station, which is associated with the Canadian version of IFC, almost always shows the un-edited version of movies and shows. They ran Oz un-censored, for instance.)
In the first few TV broadcasts of Young Frankenstein, they replace the line:
Inga: He would have an enormous schwanstucker!
with:
Inga: He would have an enormous…personality!
And then they cut out the cute little “woof” sound she makes as she thinks about the “personality” of the Monster.
Criminal, I tell ya…
And of course, many of the modern generation may watch a slightly edited version of The Dambusters and be unaware that Squadron Leader Guy Gibson’s black dog was called Nigger. Or that the dog’s name was used as a code-word during the raid.
I thought edited versions of The Dam Busters changed the dog’s name from “Nigger” to “Trigger” rather than edit his name out altogether. (Nigger was a real dog, by the way, and his name was indeed used as a codename during the mission. I wonder how Peter Jackson will work with that in his version.)