There are a lot of people who don’t trust teenagers. They get a bad rap really, when most of them are nice kids, with a few bad apples. And boy teenagers are generally mistrusted even more than girls. That’s why I found this very heartening.
My son is 14 and wanted to find a way to make some money. So he decided on his own to make up fliers advertising his services as a babysitter. Now the kid has lots of experience, being the oldest of 4, so he’s been around younger kids all his life. But when he made up his fliers, part of me was cringing. Would anyone want to hire a teenage boy to babysit their young children? Thankfully the answer is YES.
His first job was babysitting 8 and 6 year old girls. He went over there at 5 and the parents went off to a fancy dinner party. He made them a mac n’ cheese dinner. He played Chutes-n-Ladders and Uno with them, then they all put on an episode of Scooby Doo. Then he made sure they brushed their teeth, and even sang them a lullaby. The parents were so happy they started recommending him around the neighborhood. More folks started calling. Now he has a thriving babysitting business.
It’s not all doom and gloom and fear and paranoia. Trust and community can prevail!
4 decades ago I did some babysitting, even of little girls, even, but back then I didn’t appreciate the extra level of trust I was being extended.
Of course, 4 decades, the parents might not have had the sensitivities we’ve developed, either.
If your son wants to grow his business, has he looked into attending the babysitting class the Red Cross offers? I understand that graduating from this class can lead to increased marketability…
That’s fantastic - when I was a kid all my favorite babysitters were boys, because they played games and stuff. (I typed “played with me” first and decided to revise.)
I remember having the brother of one of my regular babysitters stay with me once because she wasn’t available - I was about 8 at the time and thought it was pretty weird to have a boy babysitter (this would been about 1970). He was cool though and we had fun.
The BEST sitter I ever had was a boy. We had him for New Year’s Eve and I had told him that about 9 pm, he could help the 2 kids (our youngest was not yet born or thought of) throw confetti etc–I think they were 7 and 5 years of age, then off to bed.
We got home around 0130 and the house was spotless. I asked him if he had forgotten that I had promised the kids a small NYE celebration? Nope, turns out after they did the celebrating, he had them pick up every bit of confetti, told them a story and off to sleep they went.
My brother and I had a male teenaged babysitter a couple times when we were growing up. Not quite so much stigma, as we were both boys, and the babysitter was a neighborhood kid that we both played with until he got to high-school and didn’t have much time to play basketball with grade-schoolers.
I did babysitting when I was a teen in the 70s. These were people who knew me through no more than one other family. I cannot imagine what possessed them to trust a smelly teenage boy that played Dungeons and Dragons.
My favourite babysitter when I was a kid was a teenage boy who lived down the street. I have an older brother who also would have been present, so maybe it wasn’t so weird. We always requested John - he was cool, and besides, he usually brought over one of his Nintendo games! Sweet.
Of course, years later I ended up encountering him again - as one of my high school teachers. Now, that was a bit awkward.
I did a lot of babysitting when I was in high school in the late 90s. I was in very high demand, especially for families with boys, and I could get a babysitting job pretty much any weekend I wanted to. From what I understand a major difference was that I actually played with the kids rather than just sitting around and talking on the phone. I also always made a point of leaving the house in better shape than when I arrived.
I babysat quite a bit when I was a teen in the mid-90s, but only boys. I also worked for a friend’s mom for several years at the childcare service that she ran out of her house.
It’s unfortunate that people are so paranoid about men and children.
I believe that you were a perfectly fine babysitter, but if I had a kid, I would not hire a male babysitter.
Being a good parent means putting your kid first, above the feelings of that nice neighborhood boy offering to babysit, and also above the parent’s own ego (in other words, the warm and fuzzy feeling that you get from being able to feel Oh-So-Tolerant and Oh-So-Open-Minded for letting a male babysitter watch your kid).
Not all or even most males are sexual predators of course, but statistically the majority of sexual predators are male. Even though you can’t eliminate the risk, it is logical to try to reduce the risk of your kid being abused as much as you reasonably can.
How is a parent supposed to know that any given teenage boy has good intentions? You can’t tell who is a pedophile or sex offender just by looking at them. Nobody wears a sign that says “Hi I’m a child molestor”. They look and act like normal people. I know that’s an obvious thing to say, but I think one reason that abuse is so often covered up in families is because many people have a hard time really believing that, yes, even someone who seems normal and nice to everyone else, even someone you’ve known for years, can do something terrible to a child. Yes, even if it is a family member, a long-time friend, a pastor, etc.
Another issue is that it IS possible that a teenage boy who doesn’t have any particular pedophile urges could still exercise bad judgement due to curiosity or horniness and do something inappropriate with a child if the right circumstances came up. Why risk putting a boy in that situation?
Another issue for a boy babysitter is that it is quite possible for a child to be coaxed into making false accusations of child abuse, or for something innocent to be misinterpreted as abuse if the child’s parent is in fact paranoid at all. If I were a teen boy, there’s no way I would want to risk being involved in a false allegation of sexual abuse.
Is this a joke? Do you honestly think that a 16 year old boy because he is horny would violate a child?
Sexual abuse is not the only thing you have to worry about when leaving your kid with strangers.
I had a female babysitter leave me in a park. One left me in the car in the middle of a heatstroke. Another didn’t bathe me for several days. One beat my brother when he had an accident while learning to potty train.*
I’ve heard horror stories of teenager girls bringing over their boyfriends, having sex in the house, drinking in the house and leaving the kids to scream in their rooms.
Tons of stuff can go wrong but gender shouldn’t be an issue, only competency should
*Most of these horror stories took place in between full time caregivers/nannies or when one of them had a medical emergency. Most caregivers are wonderful, kind people.
The best way to reduce the likelihood of your child being sexually abused is to never let a relative babysit. The child is far more likely to be molested by a family member than anyone else. So if you chose to have that nice neighborhood boy babysit instead of your sister, the kid is statistically much safer.
With attitude’s like yours around do you know what other jobs are “off limits” to guys?
Teacher
Nurse
Doctor
EMT
Dentist
Taxi Driver
Bus Driver
Well I could go on…but it is just about anything.
Get a clue would you!
I would be willing to bet that a kid is far more at risk from the boyfriend of a female babysitter than from a male babysitter.
Yup. I’ve had male and female babysitters for my 6 year old son. I hate to sound sexist, but some work better in certain situations. It depends on the sitter, obviously. I usually go for the adult when watching my child for longer periods of time (like overnight or into the night) but on occasion, I’ve let a teenage boy (seventeen) watch my son until a reasonable time (like 9pm) or in the afternoon on a Sunday.
I’m pretty picky about who babysits. If I had any doubts, I wouldn’t hire the person.
I hope your son is raking in the $$. Most girls want upwards of $12 an hour! Are they nuts? Anyway, I pay my teenage kiddo $10/hr. Overnight means he’s with a friend or the sitter and I have a pre-arranged rate.
thankfully, he’s six and has tons of playdates. whew.
Maybe if people like you weren’t so paranoid, then this wouldn’t happen. I’m struggling to see why a child would be coaxed into making false accusation without somebody having the pre-conceived notion that their babysitter was a threat. In which case, why would they even have hired him?
It depends on the sitter, obviously. I usually go for the adult when watching my child for longer periods of time (like overnight or into the night) but on occasion, I’ve let a teenage boy (seventeen) watch my son until a reasonable time (like 9pm) or in the afternoon on a Sunday.