Poll: Male Babysitter Experiences

      • Discussed on another forum that cannot be directly linked. Anecdotal evidence given is that an astonishingly high number of young girls get molested to some degree by male teenage babysitters. We have had similar threads such as this but not the same that I could find.
        No opinions, no cries of injustice–just experiences (or non-experiences) please.
        Are male babysitters perverts or not? Specifically, non-family teenage examples.
        1 )What sex are you?
        2 ) Did your parents ever allow a male, non-family member to babysit you when you were young?
        3 ) Did they ever try anything?
        4 ) Did a female babysitter ever try anything?
        ~
  1. Male.
  2. Many times.
  3. Not with me or my sister. As I recall, all the male babysitters I ever had mostly watched TV and ate potato chips. Which I thought was great.
  4. No.

Incidentally, I used to babysit, and I just watched TV and ate potato chips.

I’m going to answer this according to what I thought this thread was going to be about.

I am a male and when I was a teenager, a couple down the street with two boys wanted me to baby-sit. They wanted a male because of the boys. The boys were usually going to bed when I got there and don’t figure into this. It was the wife. She was a tall beautiful redhead, who modeled in Atlanta. Nothing ever happened, but I spent many of those hours fanaticizing about getting into her panties. Thanks for bringing back those fantasies. :wink:

I am a teenaged male and have baby sat a couple times before, a girl and a boy and I never thought of doing anything remotely creepy.

Male

Yes

No

Sort of but I’m not sure it counts. The girl used to want to watch me pee into the toilet when I was 6 or 7 but I can’t say that it scarred me for life. I just remembered that she was a little more interested in watching me pee than most teen girls, it was weird perhaps but definitely not a big deal.

  1. Male
  2. A lot.
  3. God no nor anything with my sister. They were pretty cool. One guy would just bring over his old school nintendo and we’d play it till my parents came home. The other guy just watched MTV and told us which bands were cool and which weren’t.
  4. Nope.

I babysat every once in awhile as a teen and I never did anything remotely creepy except maybe watch the red shoe diaries on HBO after the kid went to bed.

!. Female
2. I had at least one frequent male babysitter, maybe more. We had a hard time getting babysitters in general because we lived out in the country.
3. Of course not! I think it’s sad that single men aren’t allowed kids of either gender anymore. Just being male does not make you a child molester!
4. No, although most of the girls I had sucked as babysitters. On the phone all the damned time. Christian (the guy I remember) played basketball with me. Cool guy.

If I had kids I’d certainly be fine with male babysitters. I’d expect them to adhere to the same rules and standards as females, and be just as picky or desperate about hiring them as the girls. I don’t think that young men are natural child molesters, and I think if anything they should have more experience with young children. I know too many guys my age who were never around babies or kids and suddenly they have one of their own. It’s a problem, but yet people get all freaked out if a man takes interest in children.

“Anecdotal evidence” tells us many things that aren’t actually true.

I’m male, had plenty of babysitters of both sexes, never a problem. And I’ve babysat for plenty of other people, none of whom seem to have any hangups.

Now, working teaching the violin, I (like everybody) have to be ultra-cautious to guard against false accusations. Standard guidelines not only include sensible approaches such as absolutely no physical contact (even if that makes the teaching more difficult), but other things such as leaving all doors open, etc, which feel like a presumption of guilt.

Are male babysitters perverts or not? Specifically, non-family teenage examples.
1 )What sex are you?
male
2 ) Did your parents ever allow a male, non-family member to babysit you when you were young?
yes
3 ) Did they ever try anything?
no
4 ) Did a female babysitter ever try anything?
no

an unasked question
5 )If you’re male were you hired to babysit young girls
yes, trying anything never ever entered my mind.

My babysitters were always family. My mum wouldn’t have it any other way.

1 ) Female
2 ) No one who wasn’t family was allowed to babysit. Girls or boys.
3 ) Nope
4 ) Nope

Male babysitter here.

The parents who have had me babysit have always had complete trust in me and have never had the slightest fear that I might molest their children. If you don’t completely trust someone you shouldn’t be leaving your children with them- male or female.

Although I have always deservedly had the trust of both the parents and the kids who I have babysat, there have been occasions when I have been aware of “whispers” from one or more members of the parents’ extended family. Each time that I have been aware of this, it has offended me so highly that I am considering withholding my contribution to this Thread- it is difficult for me to write about it.

I have a very close relationship with and a deep love for the children for whom I have babysat, such that any discussion of them coming to harm is not a discussion I can enter into with abstracts. The idea of them coming to harm is not an abstract social issue for me but a very real, truly horrifying prospect. For anyone to suggest that I would bring that harm upon them infuriates me- especially when that suggestion is based on no personal assessment of my interaction and history with these children, but based rather on a vague notion that it is suspicious for a man to take an interest in children at all.

O.K., bienville, take a breath. DougC is not attacking you. He doesn’t even know you. Calm down.
Basically, men have an immense amount to offer in child care and are much more capable than they are given credit for. Anyone who has children in his or her life should be encouraged to take an interest in those children and to participate in their lives. When we automatically label it as suspicious and creepy for a man to be interested in children we create a society that leaves men inadequately prepared to participate in the parenting of their own children.

All babysitters should be held to scrutiny because the responsibility they undertake is so great. But any parent who just automatically discounts any man as a possible babysitter does their children a disservice, by depriving them of the exposure to positive male role models and by programming into their children’s minds that child care is exclusively a woman’s sphere- thus we have another generation of boys grow up to be men who can not participate in child care and girls who grow up to be women who don’t know how to share child care responsibilities with their partners.

  1. Male
  2. Yes.
  3. No.
  4. No.

No opinions, no cries of injustice–just experiences (or non-experiences) please.
Are male babysitters perverts or not? Specifically, non-family teenage examples.
1 )What sex are you?
Male
2 ) Did your parents ever allow a male, non-family member to babysit you when you were young?
Probably. We went through babysitters like Calvin or Dennis the Menace or something. 4 or 5 kids, depending on the year, and my younger brother could be a bit out of control which could be a catalyst for pure chaos.
3 ) Did they ever try anything?
No
4 ) Did a female babysitter ever try anything?
No

FWIW, both my older brother and I babysat for several families in our neighborhood when we were in our young teens. There were no other kids in our neighborhood that were a decent age to babysit. Parents would have me bath and feed their kids even. I don’t think it was a thought or concern at all. This was in the mid 70s.

Also, with my kids we’ve had a few babysitters, only one of which was male. Very nice kid, but given the current climate I must confess to have a preference for female sitters. Also kids these days are taught at school that they are entitled to privacy and that they shouldn’t let an adult or anyone else touch them inappropriately.

Female, and I have two sisters.

Yes, but only once.

Try anything? He didn’t stay in the house long enough. He spent most of the evening outside working on his girlfriend’s car, while we peered out the window at him. My parents were so mad that he totally ignored his responsibilities they never hired a male babysitter again.

No.

As a parent, I don’t think I ever would have had a problem hiring a male babysitter if I had known any. These days, though, there are very few boys that would do something so “girly” as babysit. At least that’s the attitude I get from my 14-year-old son.

I’m a male, and I’ve kept two boys (ages 7 and 8) at their house for a week while their parents were away on business.

We had normal routines, breakfast, school, homework, play, sleep, etc.

Nothing, NOTHING remotely creepy would have even crossed my mind.

It saddens me that the prevailing attitude today is that any male, if left alone with a child, automatically becomes a child molester.

I have a daughter and a son, now. I wouldn’t have a problem hiring a male babysitter.

My parents were the stay at home type so there wasn’t much need for babysitters. I’m not sure what they did earlier but at the point I can remember my sister was old enough to watch the rest of us (she is 10 years older than me). She didn’t appreciate the torture.

I did babysit for one family. I used to deliver papers to them and cut their lawn. Their son was about three and a half and thought I was the greatest thing in the world. He used to follow me around when I was cutting the grass with his plastic mower. Because I was so good with the kid the parents asked me to babysit. I remember asking for a hourly rate which I found out later was three times the going rate but they paid it. The funny thing is that their baby daughter absolutely hated me. I eventually got her to the point that she could tolerate me. Babies usually love me, she is the only one that I couldn’t make smile. I had no problems with the family and watched the kids until the husband got a new professor job at a distant university and they moved. I am a male.

I found when I was looking to make some extra money when i was a teenager, I hardly got any jobs as I was male. For some reason, people seem to think that if a teenage girl wants to babysit boys, it’s nice. It shows she’s mature and helping by looking after other people’s kids. If a teenage boy wants to babysit girls, it must be cos he wants to perv on them

:mad: small rant :mad:
We have friends who always used a male babysitter for their 11-12 ish yr old girls. They got on well with him. The parents liked him because unlike their female babysitters,he didn’t run up phone bills, bring his romantic interests round, have parties, blast loud music, ransack the fridge or run through mom’s make up when he was supposed to be babysitting.

And with that, Iceland wishes to offer his services for anyone who needs babysitting :slight_smile:

1 )What sex are you? male; with one sister of similar age

2 ) Did your parents ever allow a male, non-family member to babysit you when you were young? yes

3 ) Did they ever try anything? assuming you mean “sexual” anythings, no ; as far as I know, no one tried anything with my sister either.

4 ) Did a female babysitter ever try anything? again, assuming you mean “sexual” anythings, no. I had a couple babysitters I’d describe as abusive but not physically or sexually abusive

1 )What sex are you?
Female. My brother is three years older than me.
2 ) Did your parents ever allow a male, non-family member to babysit you when you were young?
**Yes. Nearly all of out sitters were male, because my brother responded better to young men. **
3 ) Did they ever try anything?
Not to my knowledge
4 ) Did a female babysitter ever try anything?
Not to my knowledge

I don’t recall if my brother ever babysat when he got older, but I did for both boys and girls. Nothing creepy ever crossed my mind, but if I had to work in child care today, I think I would be less willing to work with kids who needed help changing their clothes (for example). Kids today know what power their accusations have, and I worked with a lot of difficult children.

1 )What sex are you? Female.
2 ) Did your parents ever allow a male, non-family member to babysit you when you were young? Yes, there were two brothers who were hired occasionally, one at a time.
3 ) Did they ever try anything? Yes, one carried me around on his shoulder (not necessarily bad, but now I know he was making physical contact like that on purpose, because he didn’t play that way with my brother). Then he sat down by me in my bedroom and touched my vaginal area. Nothing terrible, and it happened only once. He just walked away and didn’t threaten me if I told or anything, but I never did. I am just realizing (~25 years later) how angry I am that he would do something like that, how dare he?
4 ) Did a female babysitter ever try anything? No.

This experience didn’t make me believe all men are perverts. My Mom brought us up to be guarded around men anyway–not through instructions but just the vibe she gave off (she had been molested), never left us alone with them, until these babysitters. I’ve never been able to tell her what happened because I know she would feel so bad about not having succeeded in keeping us safe like she tried so hard to do.

  1. Female
  2. Often - my sister’s friends or the boy who lived down the street
  3. Nope
  4. Nope

Female and I have a brother just a year younger than me.

Sure.

Nope. They were more interested in our amazing Lego collection.

Nope.

I had a couple of kinda scary situations when I was young but they were random guys, not anyone I knew.