Boy, do I feel like an idiot

[John_DiFool]

@Bullitt

Okay, here goes. One of my most embarrassing moments. True story.

Marine Corps Boot Camp, MCRD San Diego, early in 1980. I’m a young stud of 19 back then. Lean and mean. Yes, truly a legend in my own mind. We’re in a classroom, all four platoons in the series, so that’s about 240 recruits. Plus our drill instructors.

The class instructors like to begin with a joke or a story, so the instructor asks us, “Good morning, privates. I’m curious, who here is a virgin?”

Suddenly my right arm, disconnected from my brain and all on its own, thinking it knows what it’s doing, starts rising into the air. I look up and sure enough, that fucking right arm of mine is up in the air. Why the hell did it do that?!?!

I look around the entire room, and there’s only one arm up in the air. Mine.

Shit.

Oh well, too late, it’s up there. I hold it up, high and proud. The instructor, fully expecting nobody to raise his arm, couldn’t believe it and he lost his momentum — he couldn’t deliver his next line.

Pretty embarrassing. Oh well!

Is that where you got your nickname from? “Private Bullitt, have yet another date with Rosie Palms last night?”

[dwyr]

@kaylasdad99

Back in 2002 I sent Kayla to school on picture day with her dress on backwards.

My brother-in-law sent his son to preschool in a skort one day.

[Ukulele_Ike]

@Spice_Weasel

My life consists of perpetually feeling like an idiot despite the fact I’m (allegedly) pretty smart.

You accepted a job moderating the SDMB. You are an idiot. I have personal experience with this.

Enjoying the mug, I hope?

[Johnny_L.A]

@Spice_Weasel

I think my favorite one was when a friend who was living in Japan mentioned he took a trip to Cambodia and I asked, “Oh. Did you drive?”

Ah wow, how’d ya get a car?
Oh, my folks drove it up here from the Bahamas.
You’re kidding.
I must be, the Bahamas are islands.

[Johnny_L.A]

@RTFirefly

ETA: Microwaves nowadays beep at you every so often if you don’t take your food out (or at least open the nuker’s door). I’m really glad they do that, otherwise I’m sure I’d have done similar stuff more recently.

I turned the beeper on our microwave oven off.

[Spice_Weasel]

@Ukulele_Ike

You accepted a job moderating the SDMB. You are an idiot. I have personal experience with this.

Accepted? In the spirit of this thread, I ought to admit I asked.

[RTFirefly]

@Spice_Weasel

Accepted? In the spirit of this thread, I ought to admit I asked.

:quietly edges away from Spice Weasel:

[Beckdawrek]

I left the lil’wrekker at kindergarten one day. I have a good excuse. Her teacher was also the Mother of her little girlfriend. We had a play date scheduled, I mixed the days up. They had 2 play dates that week.

[Balthisar]

I’ve only had cars with automatic climate control since about 2002, other than my Expedition, which I seldom drive, and didn’t drive for five years when on an overseas assignment. I only use it for camping, or going to the state parks or one of the Metro Parks (so I only have to buy one sticker for each, rather than one for each car).

Once the weather started getting warm this year, I was taking my mountain bike to the nearby state park, and couldn’t get the interior to cool down. I ended up turning on the rear air conditioner just to try to get some relief. I told myself that’s the consequence for five years of storage and grumbled that I’d have to pay for a repair.

It wasn’t until a trip a few weeks later that, yeah, I remembered that I had to adjust the mixer valve and not just hit the A/C button.

[purplehearingaid]

when I got my new cell phone I tried to take some photos of some wild turkeys in the yard and I ended up with 50 photos or more ! I kept my finger on the button not realizing I was taking so many photos . I took a photo
of my daughter and got 3 photos ! I told her I can tell people I had triplet .

[kayT]

@purplehearingaid

when I got my new cell phone I tried to take some photos of some wild turkeys in the yard and I ended up with 50 photos or more ! I kept my finger on the button not realizing I was taking so many photos . I took a photo
of my daughter and got 3 photos ! I told her I can tell people I had triplet .

I have a better version of this. DH and I driving along and there’s a clicking sound. What is it? Something inside the car. I’m touching things: sun visor, keyring, seat belt; nothing. Suddenly I realize it’s coming from his seat. Turns out he had just got a new cell phone case that fastens on his belt, and when he fastened his seat belt, the phone started taking pictures. Of his butt. Over 60 pictures of his butt before we figured out what the noise was.

[Mean_Mr.Mustard]

I heard folks calling in to a radio show on this same topic. One woman needed someone to pick up her toddler from preschool one day and enlisted her dad to pick up junior and bring him home. Grandpa did fine, except that he brought the wrong kid home.

(this was several years ago, presumably when day cares were not as careful as they are now with regard to non-parents fetching the tots)
mmm

[Beckdawrek]

I was in Walmart a few years ago. Lil’wrekker had some birthday money she wanted spend. We had been standing by the video games while she pondered and decided, all of a sudden some strange little boy grabbed my hand. He stood there a few minutes holding my hand watching a bigger boy play a video game. I just stood still & in a minute he looked up, I tell you the shock on that boys face was priceless. He took off running.

[Muffin]

Last night I failed to take my foot off the sewing machine pedal when adjusting the machine’s foot. Owie!

[Gatopescado]

I’m married.

[Beckdawrek]

I actually paid money for 2 Siamese kittens, 5 years ago. My life has never been the same.

[Johnny_L.A]

@Beckdawrek

I was in Walmart a few years ago. Lil’wrekker had some birthday money she wanted spend. We had been standing by the video games while she pondered and decided, all of a sudden some strange little boy grabbed my hand. He stood there a few minutes holding my hand watching a bigger boy play a video game. I just stood still & in a minute he looked up, I tell you the shock on that boys face was priceless. He took off running.

Heh. When I was five we went to the San Diego County Fair. It was night, and I was excited by all of the lights. I grabbed my dad’s hand so I could point something out, but when I looked up to tell him to look, it wasn’t my dad! My parents weren’t that far behind me. They thought it was funny. But I was embarrassed.

[Bullitt]

@John_DiFool

Is that where you got your nickname from? “Private Bullitt, have yet another date with Rosie Palms last night?”

Yeah, really. It should, right?

[bobkitty]

@melondeca

A couple years ago it occurred to me that I did not have to use my teeth to remove the little plastic safety cap on my deodorant. I never realized you could twist up the deodorant. I’m 39 years old.

:eek:

I’m 44 and didn’t realize this until I read your post. :smack:

[Dr.Girlfriend]

@Projammer

One bright summer day I stopped to get gas and discovered the LCD display on the pump to be completely blank. I reported the problem to the person on duty and he came out to check the pump with me and said it looked fine to him. It still looked blank to me so I pushed up my sun glasses for a closer look. Then it looked fine to me too.

Apparently the polarization on my new sunglasses was 90° different to the mask on the pump.

I’ve had this problem with my sunglasses too at a gas pump. I didn’t quite get to the point of reporting it to the person on duty but I stood there staring for a minute before I realized it was my sunglasses.

I’ve also done that at work. I was getting ready to go out to lunch and put my sunglasses on before I clocked out for lunch. Can’t read my computer screen with polarized sunglasses on!