Though you’ve attempted to mitigate your statement with the “I am too,” there’s still no real reason to flat-out call someone an idiot. It’s an insult. So don’t do it.
Ive wondered what the rules are on this, it seems i see alot of posts where people make personal insults and no moderator says anything, ithe moderating of insults doesnt seem real consistent…
From my point of view as a poster, the basic rule is that it’s okay to criticize the behavior, but not the poster.
“Your actions are idiotic” goes over better than “You’re an idiot.”
As I understand it anyway.
Good point, sorry, and thanks.
Any answer? ?
You can attack and criticize their actions/arguments. For example, if you go do something really dickish or make a really dickish argument, I could say, “That move was really dickish,” or, “That was a piece of shit move,” but what I can’t say is, “You are a dickhead/asshole/cunt/…” The difference is that you are actually attacking the poster by calling them names. You are attacking and insulting them personally. The rule outside the BBQ Pit is that you can’t deliver personal insults, but you can criticize their actions/arguments as much as you’d like.
In this example with Learjeff, the reason he was moderated was because he called the OP an idiot, which is a personal insult. It would have been more appropriate if he called the OP’s actions “idiotic”; that wouldn’t be a rules violation.
If you want to personally insult someone, go to the BBQ Pit. If you really have a problem with another poster, you open a Pit thread about them. But be aware that even the BBQ Pit does have some rules.
I may not be a mod, but does that make me chopped liver? :rolleyes:
Just like when you see examples of insults that you think may have gone unaddressed by a mod - mods are volunteers and don’t see everything. Report something if you think it has been overlooked.
Then you either PM (private message) a moderator or start a thread in ATMB (About This Message Board). But I am pretty sure the moderators will say the same thing I and Quadgop the Mercotan said.
I am going to break Gaudere’s Law here, but I suggest you work on your capitalization, grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. Correct use of language is prized here and you may want to work on it before you get called out for it like I did before I knew better.
I think you two (OP and mate) need to discuss exactly what you think marriage is the next step to. You’re either obviously not on the same page or if you are then there is something he doesn’t like about what the next steps lead to.
Have you discussed kids? Traditions with family and relatives? Religious beliefs?
Maybe in his mind he’s avoiding what he perceives will be things to come if married. “Oh great, now she’s going to want to have kids”,“Oh great, now she’s going to expect me to spend every Christmas and Thanksgiving with her family”,“Oh great, now she’s going to expect me to go to church with her every Sunday.”
I think guys who avoid the commitment fear the slippery slope more than the actual single act of getting married.
Anonymous user, thanks for letting me know. Dont worry about it, sometimes the touchscreens are hard to type on. I have never had any issues, but thanks anyways.
Rules info here. You may wish to re-read the registration agreement as well to familiarize yourself with our rules, guidelines and expectations.
In my long life experience, getting married after a long period of living together ( as you have ) seems to lead almost instantaneously to divorce. Happens too often to be coincidence.
If you are happy, except for the wedding thing, sort the legal problems you refer to ( if he won’t, you really do have a problem ) and enjoy your life. If he expresses any doubt, it would be a mistake to force him to.
Just remember, a wedding ring and a piece of paper don’t give any guarantees of success.
Ellen Cherry,
thank you, I understand the rules and why the poster above shouod not have called the other poster an idiot. my question had to do with sometimes I have seen personal insults that went unmoderated?
The reason they may go unmoderated maybe because the moderators didn’t see the post or no one bothered to report it. This is why moderators especially appreciate people reporting posts, even if you are not sure whether they are a rules violation- report it anyways. Moderators can’t be everywhere at one time and they mostly rely on reports. The other reason may be because you may have been in the BBQ Pit at the time, where personal insults and flaming are allowed. That is why moderators often say, “If you have a problem with another poster, take it to the BBQ Pit.”
It also may be because the post didn’t actually contain a personal insult, but was just harsh criticismof aanother poster’s actions or arguments - like, “That is the stupidest argument I have ever heard.” That isn’t a personal insult, but just harsh criticism.
Well, thank you, Anon. Any more discussion of rules should go in ATMB, so as not to kill the thread.
Why do you give advice about not taking advice?
It’s win-win. Either she’ll take the advice and disregard the rest, or she’ll think she should disregard this advice, hence allowing her to also disregard the rest.
No rational statement includes itself as a member. If someone says “Don’t listen to advice”, they always mean “except this little bit of advice.” Just like when someone says “There are no rules” they mean “except the rule against rules.”
“Only Siths deal in absolutes.” 