The ‘worst ex’s’ thread makes me sad. Let’s talk about boys or girls we have loved…and they don’t have to necessarily be SOs, because most of mine were from afar.
Jim. JIM. Jim, I have loved. From the first day of seventh grade until the last day of senior year. Sigh. Golden hair, crystal blue eyes…the boy that played all sports AND was smart AND lived down the street. I used to drive by his house on my bike, hoping he’d be outside. OH JIM I loved you. My parents picked on me…oooooOOOOooOOOo You Like JIIIIIM…and they were right. Jim signed my yearbook senior year “I wish we could have known each other better” OH JIM…it’s too late.
Chris…CHRIS, I have loved…all of sophomore year of college. I followed you around campus, I watched you play soccer, I saw you go to class…I recorded these things in a notebook. Stalker? Maybe, but only because I loved you. You looked exactly like Archie Andrews, little freckles and short red hair, well muscled, glittery smile. I was drunk at Taco Bell and told you that I loved you…and you laughed at me. I know…i know…I am a fool…but Chris…I loved you so.
Damian from my English class, beautiful pixie-faced goth boy with a Robert Smith hairdo. My friends and I fancied him like mad. He was funny and soft spoken, and he was going out with a girl with long wavy red hair and long wavy skirts. We called her the Ginger Fairy.
Sigh. Those were the days before good looking goth boys became an endangered species.
Yelena, tall, big, blonde, Russian goddess with slanting pale blue eyes and fabulous cheekbones. Decadent, troubled, gorgeous, fantastic breasts. She tried to set me up with a male friend of hers at a party. I hadn’t the bravery to tell her that it was her I wanted. Damn it damn it damn it damn it damn it. I bet she went like the bullet train, too.
And from “The Ones That Got Caught”:
Cian, the skinny anarchist. Spitting image of Bernard Butler. Shy and chaotic with a warm heart underneath. Very nice penis. Incredibly skinny though - far too much like shagging a bag of sticks unless I was either face down or on top.
Rick, the fluffy bloke. Loved it up him. Also had great taste in music, beer and cheese.
George - My first crush was on George in freshman year, beautiful eyes, great smile, and more than a little mischievious. We’d talk on the phone for hours, but nothing ever came of it until you pursued me after graduation. Your kisses were very sweet my friend.
‘Popeye’ - He earned his nickname because when he laughed just like he cartoon character. Come to think of it his forearms were pretty big and his legs were skinny just like Popeye’s too. Made me laugh and feel so alive, all he had to do was give me ‘that look’ and I’d be giggling like a little girl. He was the best nookie I’d ever had, and then Mr. Mouse came along and stole me away. Popeye came back a few months later professing love, but he too was too late.
Oh, I really really really loved a boy named Joey. Granted, this was in middle school, but it was that first love kind o’ junk. We were inseperable. (Well, almost literally.) We even used to sit in the same desk to watch the news stuff we had to watch. We were dorks. His mom had to move back to Alabama, the week after my birthday. I thought life ended. He moved back to Alabama, and when I was a senior in high school, I got a letter from his mom that said he killed himself.
About a year ago, (10 years after the letter) I find a guy with the same name on the internet. (Not a very common name, either.) I found him on one of those class-reunion sites. Turns out, it’s him. He’s now in Texas, happily ‘married’ to a great guy, and they have a little boy. They’ve been together for 6 years. I say ‘married’, only because they can’t get married legally yet. But I know he’s married to this guy. And it’s wonderful. Never found out why I got that letter, though.
When I was a little older, I was mad for a boy named Jason. He was so sweet, and skinny and goofy. We used to call him Shaggy, because he looked/acted like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. I fawned over him, giggled at his every remark. I fell hard for that boy. He eventually went off to school, and I had to move on. :sigh:
I had the major hots for him starting in probably 5th grade, and by senior year in high school it hadn’t faded. Hell, I think I even carried the torch through my first year in college.
He was smart. He was shy. He was beautiful. He could draw cartoon characters like you wouldn’t believe. He played volleyball. I went to the games and gawked. He wore glasses and was absolutely adorable.
He signed my yearbook something like “my dear friend”, and I about melted into the ground.
I haven’t seen him in 10 years. I’ve only heard snippets of how he’s doing - someone told me they think he has a drinking problem. It cut me deep down when I heard that.
There was this honey that I met in college that was my ideal girl: blonde, smart, pretty (but not too pretty), funny. I even took German just so she could tutor me twice a week. I have compared every other girl that I’ve dated to this girl, with only one even coming close (my current GF).
I keep hoping to run into her around town sometime and ride off into the sunset with her
I’ve written a haiku for her entitled: “The Girl of My Dreams Lives Only a Half-mile From Me and Yet I Haven’t Seen Her in Four Years”
Lisa, sweet Lisa
Golden hair, eyes so blue-ish
Kleine Prinzessin
Happy, wiping a tear
Jonathan, who I loved from age 4 to 14. A born flirt, made me laugh, amazing eyes and the champion of all huggers. The closest we ever came to carnal knowledge was a peck on the cheek.
Chris, massive, blond, muscular, artistic and self-abasing while being arrogant - still beautiful to look at. I attended his wedding a few weeks ago. I am so happy for them both (she’s a sweetie)
Joel, bluest eyes and ash blond hair, cute buns, ready laugh, the class athlete, for some reason always had the classroom windows open in January. I was crazy for that boy for 6 years… saw him not long ago. Time’s come and gone for that unrequited love.
Jen, my best friend for years - petite, brunette/blonde/bluette, movie star smile and the warmest of warm hearts. I would have killed for her body in more than one way - if only I’d known back then!
This gives me the warm fuzzies. Those loves made me what and who I am, and helped me know what I needed in love.
Great thread, I am young and it seems pretty cold. Can’t remember ever falling in love… except once. I was 17 (I’m 22 now) her name was Helena a friend’s cousin.
The first time I saw her she was riding like a Valkyrie, long blond hair, grey eyes and a killer smile. I saw her at church, sunbathing, and never dared to talk to her (strange considering I am everything but shy). Finally we were going for a ride to the mountains and she asked to come along. We talk for hours, at the end she told me that next day she would be leaving.
I saw her last year she came back… with a boyfriend…
I’ve had tons of crushes but only a few that are worth talking about.
My first love was Colin. We were both 4 and lived 3 houses apart. The summer before we started kindergarten we were inseperable. We went to the movies together (we saw Star Wars) and would always reinact the movies when we got home. He was Hans Solo and I was Princess Lea. We used to pretend that Darth Vadar had knocked me out and the only way to wake me up was for Hans (Colin) to kiss me. We would play hide-n-go-seek and if he found me he got to kiss me… so I always hid in really obvious spots. We were best friends until his family moved to Texas during 2nd grade and I haven’t seen him since. I’ve done internet searches for him but have come up empty.
Alex… my handsome Swede. I was a freshman and he was a senior. He was an exchange student and had a cute little accent and a sweet smile. He would always say hi to me when we passed in the halls and I remember the butterflies I got when he wished me a happy birthday. I found him on one of the high school alumni sites but have been too chicken to e-mail him… he probably wouldn’t remember me anyway.
Sean … the first guy I can remember being physically attracted to. Senior year of high school. We were both on the football team and we lived in the same dorm and took at least one of the same classes. Good god that guy had a gorgeous chest. It wasn’t developed so much as it was just there. I only realized I’d had a (semi, considering I didn’t know I was bi) crush on him a year or so into college.
Ari. ::sigh:: Beautiful Ari. My first real boy-crush, and my first real indication that I was gay, other than being hot for the other boys in the changeroom after gym class.
I was living in Ottawa at the time, and wanted to visit the former Expo ‘67 site, and La Ronde (an amusement park). I asked Ari if he wanted to come along, and his parents gave him permission (we were only 15). He stayed over at my place (well, my parents’ place) and nothing happened. The next day we all left for Montreal.
It was my very first ride on the metro that I now ride twice a day. Orange line, Côte-Vertu to Berri-de-Montigny. (The latter station has since had its name amended.) Then, transfer to the Yellow line, under the St. Lawrence River, to Île-Ste-Hélène. The entire time, my eyes were on beautiful Ari. How much I wanted to hold him and kiss him, I can’t put into words.
We went to La Ronde, rode the rollercoaster, and other rides. Every moment I was captivated by his beauty. My parents have a really great picture of us, on the Minirail at La Ronde. We’re both looking back, smiling. I kept it on my bulletin board for years.
Ari left Canada years ago to do activist work or something in South America. AFAIK, he’s straight, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was the first boy I ever loved, and that showed me I could not only be physically attracted to other guys, but care for them as well.
Niall Oh how I missed him (and occasionally still do).
It lasted from Fall 1999 - Spring 2000, not bad for Long Distance. He was in Ireland & I was/am in the US. It burned hot but quick. I spent a wonderful week with him in Ireland. I think Long Distance got to be too difficult for him and college provided many distractions, then he got into Ecstasy. He began to change & things slipped away.
Matthew. Dark hair, hazel eyes, the most incredible eyelashes I’ve ever seen on a bloke. An adorable smile and a sexier-than-hell Northern Ireland accent. We spent almost a year in a purposefully casual relationship. One night, it crossed the line, we both became a bit emotional, it freaked me out and I ended it. A couple months later it hit me that I’d fallen in love with him, nearly had worked up the courage to tell him so when I learned he had begun seeing someone else. Don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that one.
Martin. He was a barman in a London pub, and well-known for hating Americans so much he would hide in the back of the pub rather than have to serve them. He was also fiercely proud of his Britishness (Union Jack tattoo and all) … between my accent and my politics, I would have been the last person anyone would expect him to fall for - and vice versa. And yet, we did. It happened on a New Year’s Eve when we were sitting arguing about something in the pub, and some stranger came and held mistletoe over our heads. I looked at him, he looked at me and next thing you know we’re snogging furiously, to the absolute amazement of all of our friends there. I was leaving for Ireland the next day, but managed to get back to England to visit him and he turned out to be the closest thing to a true gentleman I’ve ever been with. We were far too different for it to last, but it was lovely, absolutely lovely.
Laurie. It was kindergarten - I was 6 and she was 5. Though we both may have been either 5 or 6 at the same time for awhile, I don’t know. But we stood together in line. I talked to her gently - she was shy. I loved her, though I don’t know if she loved me. I wasn’t in her class in first grade, so I didn’t see her anymore. Shortly thereafter, she moved away. I didn’t even have a crush on anyone else for six long years.
Rebekah. Met her at summer camp. Most incredible five days of my life up to that point, and then she got scared/angryand stopped it. Asked me out again over email. I had to end that. So sweet, so lovely, but so sad. So afraid. I don’t know what’s wrong, and I had to let go. I love you Rebekah, please take care of yourself.
Mikah. I love her right now. This is perhaps the most incomprehensible love I’ve ever had for someone, because I have no romantic or particularly sexual interest in her - but ask me to name the people I would want to kiss, and she’d probably be one of the perhaps two people that make up my short list. She’s rather wild - often pretty hyper, crazy, humorous, and LOUD. But she’s also a very loving person, which I didn’t miss noticing. So I lover her, as well. Come back soon Mikah, it’s getting BORING here :D. What’s so exciting about Maine anyhow?
Ahhh, Georgie…sandy brown hair, light eyes, tall, smart, handsome. We met on the beach…sun shining down, waves coming up onto the shore.Then, it happened, he spoke to me, sat beside me in the sand, and helped me with my castle.
The whole illusion was shattered, as our Mothers called for us. hehee. Just so happened that they knew each other, and George’s family was moving into the neighbourhood. We started kindergarden together. He picked me up every morning for school. They moved away before we started grade school. I was so in love with Georgie Porgie. I wonder whatever happened to him.:rolleyes:
Aaron - Tall, dark hair, dark complection, baby blue eyes. . . I fell hard for him my senior year. We were always hanging around together. . . I’m pretty sure he knew I liked him, and we were great friends, but then we graduated and he went his way and I went mine.
Chris - He was such a bad boy. Managed to lose my head over him somehow my freshman year. We talked occasionally until graduation and he went into the Marines. I still see him around town, but he’s a LOT different now than he was then.
Oh, yes. Matt. Total bishie, neurotic and psycho-smart, language/transit geek, Esperantist. beautiful boy. We were totally in love. But he lived in Toronto, so it didn’t work… sigh
I sometimes wonder if he had lived in Montreal, how long we would have stayed together.
Seth - sigh I loved that boy from the time I was 3 until I was 15. Gorgeous. Looked just like Richard Gere when he was younger (An Officer and a Gentleman). We were best friends until I moved to another town. We were still friends, but the fact that I could hardly visit and that he’s two years older made it hard. How I pined for him…He was my first few sexual experiences. No sex, we were too young for that, but I was more excited during those encounters than I ever have been since. I actually got the nerve to tell him how I felt one night. But by the time I had worked up the courage and crept into his room, he was asleep, and I was too scared to wake him. I still kick myself over that. I only see him about once a year now since he’s stationed in New Jersey. But I wish him and his girlfriend lots of luck.
Then there was John. My first “grown-up” love. I fell for him without knowing it while I was dating his best friend. He was as charming as can be. Six feet tall and 220 pounds of pure muscle, dark hair, and the most amazing eyes. One was blue and the other was hazel/green. A cop and a Marine, my ideal man. When I realized what was happening his friend and I were done so he had no serious qualms about going after me. I was only 15 and he was 20. Serious issue. I know it sounds strange to say I was grown up at that age, but you’ll just have to trust me on that. I am so not getting into all the stuff I had already gone through by then. After both sets of parents eventually approved the relationship, things were great. I loved him so much that it hurt. Lying silently in his arms made me so joyful I would cry. He went through his “crazy early 20’s stage” and did some very hurtful things. We were off and on for a couple years after that. To be honest we still are. We both still love each other dearly, but know we can’t work it out in this stage of our lives. We’re both trying to live life normally and find other people, but I’m afraid I’ll never be able to care for anyone ever again since I still care for him. One day things will work themselves out for the best.
Those loves made me what and who I am, and helped me know what I needed in love.
