Her name is Kim Brantley. We met in the 9th grade, she was thin with pale skin and lots of freckles. Her eyes were blue and bold. She was crowned with red hair the color of fire.
I loved her. I loved her more than any man ever could a woman. Alas she shunned me. For the “dark suicidal manipulative life-sucking poet” type. His name is Taz. Yet still I am not bitter. Hehhehheh.
No really, I have not thought about her in years. Strange that for so long it seemed so important. She seemed so important. Obviously I was young and romantically retarded. Yet if I try, and let my mind drift back . . . I can still see her with her head tilted back laughing at something I have said, her long hair streaming out like flames in a summer breeze.
I haven’t spoken with Kim Brantley in almost 11 years. I assume Taz took a few folks out with a letter opener by now (or with scattered fragments of a “Nine Inch Nails” CD).
Ah, see now ? Confession is good for the soul. So who do you remember ?
I remember a girl named Shannell McCain. She was the most beautiful girl in school, and so sweet. We were destined to be just friends though. That’s right, the ‘F’ word. I remember one night at a party when she took me by the hand and led me away from the crowd because she said she had to talk to me privately about something important. I thought my dreams were gonna come true.
Then she asked me if my best friend, Shawn, had a girlfriend, and if not, could I be a dear and set them up? After picking my heart off the floor from under her feet, I said sure, cuz I’m nothing if not a nice guy. This had to have been at least 10 or 11 years ago. I hardly think of her anymore. Strange how things that seemed so devastating then seem so trivial now.
For some people (like me) unrequited love is the only kind there is. All my life, I’ve been everybody’s friend, and no one’s girl friend.
I can’t complain about the wonderful friendships that I’ve gotten out of certain unrequited love situations…
but just once, I’d like to have someone want me back.
When I look back on my freshman and sophomore years of high school, the thing I remember most is Brian Hartman. More specifically, I remember never kissing Brian Hartman.
I still see her now and again. She is the love of my life. Think about her every day…I love her with every fiber of my soul. Sometimes she is right there with me and sometimes she seems to care less (like now). Always seems to string me along, so to speak, and give me enough rope to hang myself (which will I do quite willingly and repeatedly) yet I am eternally hopeful and completely in love with her. I am truly convinced that we belong together forever…she has even told me that she believes we have been companions and lovers in previous lives. and she fucks with my head in this one! ::sigh:: Love stinks (right now)
Easy. Junior year in high school, I went to the state-sponsored arts program. There I met a lad named Casey Pickett. He was quiet, but not shy. The type of person who is quiet because they know the wisdom in choosing words carefully. But when he stepped on stage, that disappeared. Suddenly he was vibrant, funny, and electric. I think it was the dicotomy that got me. He started an improv comedy group. I’d never done improv before, and had no idea of the concept. Now, 4 years later, I am doing improv as a part-time job. I ran into Casey a couple months after the end of the program, he told me he was going to Oberlin, and working as a nanny for the summer. I told him Oberlin would be the school I’d go to, if I had my shit together. And, as many dopers are aware, Swiddles has a definate weak spot for guys who like kids. The fact that he was being a nanny for the summer ALMOST made me jump him right there. One of my goals for the summer is to find Casey. Hopefully he’s not doing summer stock or anything. I want him to see my show. Of course, I want him to fall madly in love with me, but I’d settle for him to see my show, and for me to thank him for getting me started in improv. Of course, before I know it, it’ll be August, and another summer will have passed without my noticing.
funny.
Stacy Pearlman. from 6th grade until Jr.Year of HS, i had a crush on her, even asked her out 3 times, and all three times got rejected. She was one of the popular kids in my school (i was of the punk rock acid dropping crowd), gorgeous curly blond hair, bright blue eyes, not a day went by i didn’t oggle and sweat out the day thinking of how much i liked her. first time i saw her was on the bus in 6th grade, in the summer going to camp, i only saw her as soon as i stepped on the bus, and my chest invited barnum and baileys acrobats to do some tricks for a while. i think my heart got shot out of a cannon a few times too.
what’s funny is that at this point in my life i’m neither attracted to her look, nor do i care about it anymore, but it brings back the few childhood memories i have.
ahh well, nothing against her, but i sure hope she’s doing well where ever she is.
My freshman year we had an exchange student from Sweden that I thought was sooooo hot! I wouldn’t say that I was in love with him but for some reason I was just extremely attracted to him. His name was Alex Aalam. He had dark hair and dark eyes and always wore a black leather jacket. I used to pass him in the halls and just look at him and not be able to speak a word because I was so incredibly shy back then! Sometimes he would say “Hi” to me and it would just make my day! I’ve tried to do a search on the Internet to find him but I’m not good at that kind of stuff so I’ve had no luck.
Her name was Pauliina Toukkola. She was a Finnish exchange student. She had beautiful straight blonde hair and vibrant, alive, on fire Norde eyes.
We fell in love, and all this from a blind prom date! Alas, it had to end, I was crushed. I spent the next year in seclusion, depressed. I got over it.
I still think about her every once and a while. I wonder what it would have been like if I had gone to Finland, or she had stayed here…
Andrea Watson. Late University life. Petite brunette, blue eyes, very intelligent, great sense of humour, awesome smile. I still remember the first moment I saw her (at an 8am lecture on a Monday morning biomechanics lecture). Unfortunately she had a boyfriend but I couldn’t get her out of my mind. We ended up becoming friends (and I fell well into the friends zone). Sometime later her boyfriend and her broke up but it was me she turned to AS A FRIEND so I couldn’t do anything - she needed me as a friend. Aaaarrh the emotional turmoil and ethical dilemma. I did the right thing and helped her through it figuring to get her back on her feet first. Then she met rebound boy. AAAAARRRRGGGHH!! Back to the friends zone with a heavy heart. I accepted a contract in Germany (I’m Australian btw) so started planning for departure two months later. Two weeks before I’m due to leave she discovers rebound boy with another girl, is devestated and turns to me again. Once again I help though my heart is hurting even more than before. Three days before departure we have a farwell dinner and of course I invite her. Afterwards I drop her home and we talk. Then I couldn’t hold back. To cut a long story short I serenaded her beneath her window. Sang a song called “As Long As The Moon Can Shine.” At the end of it she had tears in her eyes. She came out, leaned over and kissed me. To this day her soft lips live in my memory. I can still taste her and smell her.
The next few days we spent hand in hand but I had to go (she wouldn’t let me not go) so off to Europe I go. For those romantics here I hope you don’t want the happy ending. Six weeks later,with me preparing to end my contract, I get a Dear John phone call. She’d met someone else… sorry… good friend… always special … the words are in memory though not in order. Not that they need to be. Sadly we couldn’t even continue the friendship when I returned. She married him btw and I was happy for her.
Then of course there’s Majbritt, but that’s a story for another day and a longer thread…
Andrew Schenning. I loved him for two whole years, but he saw me as a friend, nothing more.
He was a year ahead and was graduating when I was a high school junior. He had a role in the play and I was teching it, so we were both at the cast party and I decided to confess my love for him. I requested mt most favorite love song, “Wondeful Tonight” by Eric Clapton. The DJ said ten minutes so I bided my time trying not to have a heart attack.
The big moment arrives: and I see Andrew leading Ilsa, his fellow castmate, to the dance floor. I ask someone what is happening, and she says that Ilsa just asked Andrew out and he said yes.
So they danced to my song.
I think I am going to cry just thinking about it.
Om a lighter note, my best friend of 9 years is gay, but I love him very much. I can’t help thinking that if he were straight we might be together…a tiny little part of me wants more because he is so awesome, but I know it never will, so… I just fantasize once in a while to get my ya-yas out and go back to the friend role. It’s really not a huge deal, just slightly bothersome sometimes.
Not everyone’s on the Net, handy. Trust me. I’ve tried looking for my UL. I haven’t gone as far as to hire a PI. Say I’m not determined if you want, but IMHO, that’s just a little…creepy.
Marie Krampe. 9th grade. I was shy, had no money and couldn’t drive so I never asked her out. We flirted with each other (in an awkward 14 year old way) all year. By 10th grade, she got tired of waiting and started dating other guys. After 11th grade, she moved away. Possibly my most painful wasted opportunity. Sigh.
A girl, or rather a woman, named Michelle. We met during my second go at college. I stared at her in the class we had together, Proseminar on Old World Archaeology. The way I was staring was in that borderline pyscho manner.
After building up all the courage that I could muster, I asked her out. When she said yes, my chin musta hit the floor. Of course when I called her, she said that she couldn’t go out with me because her boyfriend would get upset. Needless to say I was confused. Why say yes then say no? We had a couple more classes together and became good friends.
After I left Minneapolis, I couldn’t get Michelle out of my mind. If I wasn’t doing anything, by default my thoughts would centre on Michelle.
When Michelle was looking to go to grad school, I lobbied hard for her to come to SMU. And, it turns out SMU was one of the schools on her short list. So, even though my love for her is unrequited, my best friend Michelle will be moving in with me this fall.
Tyler Putnam, 7-9 grades. Was it really only two years of desperate love? It felt like 100.
He was two years older than me, painfully cute with curly blonde hair. He was sweet to everybody, and played the guitar. He loved the Beatles, which endeared me to him even more. I think almost every girl in the school had a crush on him. But he broke my heart after I swallowed my pride and asked HIM out. Though to his credit he didn’t embarrass me in any horrible way. He never made a big deal out of it like I was terrified he would.
I’ll never forget him. That was probably the most painful experience of my life, and the pain didn’t fade away for another year. Especially since I was so humiliated.
Yes, I remember my first. A beautiful 16 year old girl named Jen who I fell in love with at age 17. God, she knocked me out. We were in love for a couple of years, then she dumped me. I think that still qualifies, if not completely, as unrequited love.
But we grow older, wiser, and more cynical about love.
I’m still not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing…
Whenever someone asks me how I know if I’m in love, I say it’s two things:
When a woman finds her way into every thought in my mind that isn’t otherwise occupied.
When my thoughts are otherwise occupied, there is still a great feeling of anticipation in the back of my mind, like an unopened present.
I can’t wait to fall in love again.
