Bra-less older women - does this look good?

[alice_in_wonderland]

@MeanOldLady

I’m not saying large tits can’t be perky; I’m saying they don’t stick straight out. They will sit up, but some part of the boob will touch your rib cage enough so that it can trap a pencil. If you can find me boobs D or larger, fuck I’ll even go down to C, that are *real *and stick straight out enough that they can’t hold a pencil, I swear to young Jesus, I will mail you $500, and will eat my hat.

Well, like I said, I’m not interested in sharing pics, or $500 or you eating your hat (well, the $500 would be cool), but I can assure you that mine do this.

FWIW, I have quite a small ribcage (a 30) so there’s not a lot of flesh there. I suspect for some gals with larger boobs they may have a bit more flesh on the ribcage so the pencil is supported from both sides, so to speak.

[MeanOldLady]

There are thin girls, there are thin girls with large boobage, there are thin *young *girls with large boobage. There are thin, young girls with large boobage that is perky. Nothing to do with it. The challenge is open to anyone. $500 and an eaten hat can be all yours!

[MOIDALIZE]

Googling “torpedo tits” provides some potential winners.

[alice_in_wonderland]

Good grief.

Well, I’ve tried looking for that thread that I think was submitted by astro and I’ve struck right out. Maybe someone else can find it and get the $500.

Sorry for the hijack OP!

[MeanOldLady]

That is one creepy Google image search. Remember the rules now! They can’t be small or fake.

[alice_in_wonderland]

Ahh - got it!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=460615&highlight=breasts

Follow the link in the first post.

No pencil is staying put there!

[MeanOldLady]

Assuming those are real (and I will), where, exactly, would you be placing the pencil? On the outer tip, or in the fold where the breast meets her rib?

[MOIDALIZE]

@MeanOldLady

That is one creepy Google image search. Remember the rules now! They can’t be small or fake.

You didn’t have Moderate SafeSearch on, did you?

[AClockworkMelon]

@even_sven

One again we have the “OMG a woman had the nerve not to do everything she can to make herself attractive to me personally” syndrome. As if it is some kind of offense that we might sometimes have other priorities than maximizing the degree that random observers want to bone us.

Beauty and sexual attractiveness are parallel but not always intertwined concepts. I’m sure Kim Cattrall doesn’t care if you personally want to nail her or not. And I’m also pretty sure her sex life is awesome, and her lover doesn’t find her one bit less fascinating or sensual because she didn’t wear the undergarments that turn you on the most. But she probably does want to be seen as beautiful.

There comes a time in your life when you have to admit you are not 18/perky breasted/exceptionally skinny/perfect skinned/whatever. Even the most beautiful among us fit this perfect form for just a few brief moments.

So you are left with some options- you can give up, get the “mom” haircut, and walk around with baggy holiday-themed sweatshirts. You can pretend, with ever-declining success leading to eventual humiliation, that you still are these things. Or you can accept yourself as a sexual, beautiful woman who has aged exactly as god meant you to. I’m starting to see my first wrinkles. What do you expect me to do? Cry myself to sleep? Lock myself in a closet? Save up for botox? Wear a mask?

Naw, I’ll just see them a sign of the life I’ve lived, the times I’ve smiled, my own history written on my face. It’s beautiful, in it’s own way. Maybe not as hot as an 18 year old model, but beautiful none the less.

While some very basic things are hard wired, much of beauty is culturally defined or at least can be stretched pretty far. Look at how societies have gone back and forth on the “fat” versus “skinny” female ideal. Or how many cultures revere white skin when we like a tan.

Societies can have a larger or smaller range of what they find beautiful. In my experience in Cameroon, people just loved women. They thought we were all beautiful. The 250 lb. volunteer got as much admiration as the 90 lb. volunteer. People hit on my mother as vigorously as they hit on me. Race, coloring…none of these things would disqualify you from being attractive. Models in magazines and in music videos all looked completely different from each other.

In China there is a much smaller range of what is considered “beautiful.” 40 kg. is well known as the “perfect” weight. Lighter skin is always better than darker skin. Nobody can rock their darker skin as “exotic” the way they can elsewhere. Basically there is one “ideal girl” and everyone is judged by how close to that they look. Models in magazines and in music video usually look pretty similar.

The US is somewhere in between. We have a variety of ways to be beautiful- from “blonde sexpot” to “exotic Asian” to “voluminous goddess.” Our models show some variety, but there could be more.

I think it’d be a worthwhile exercise to expand and challenge our concept of beauty. Perhaps part of that is because I’m a woman who will one day become an older woman. And I don’t think that makes me any less beautiful than I am now. It personally makes me happy to see older women who don’t see growing and looking older as the equivalent of getting neutered. Who don’t need to hide and pretend. YMMV

:rolleyes:

[MeanOldLady]

@MOIDALIZE

You didn’t have Moderate SafeSearch on, did you?

No. With the moderate filter on, the search results are significantly less creepy. So anyway, Kim Cattrall looks fine in that dress.

[Cat_Whisperer]

I think in this case you’re the exception, not the rule, Alice. Most women with larger breasts (and especially women who have been brutalized by gravity for four or five decades) don’t have super-perky natural breasts.

Now, anyone want to get into the travesty that is teenage girls getting breast implants before they’ve even stopped growing?

[MOIDALIZE]

@MeanOldLady

No. With the moderate filter on, the search results are significantly less creepy. So anyway, Kim Cattrall looks fine in that dress.

So you were fine with this?

[Dangerosa]

@Cat_Whisperer

I think in this case you’re the exception, not the rule, Alice. Most women with larger breasts (and especially women who have been brutalized by gravity for four or five decades) don’t have super-perky natural breasts.

Now, anyone want to get into the travesty that is teenage girls getting breast implants before they’ve even stopped growing?

Probably the exception - but until I had kids I could pass the “pencil test” with a D cup. And when I was lactating I looked like this:

http://www.lotussculpture.com/images/10b6cc.jpg

[alice_in_wonderland]

@Cat_Whisperer

I think in this case you’re the exception, not the rule, Alice.

Well sure - I didn’t mean to imply that my boobs were universal - just that boobs of that type exist.

[MeanOldLady]

@Cat_Whisperer

I think in this case you’re the exception, not the rule, Alice. Most women with larger breasts (and especially women who have been brutalized by gravity for four or five decades) don’t have super-perky natural breasts.

It’s not even about perkiness. First, whose tits are shaped like bullets? There are some people in the world, yes, but most tits are round or shaped like tear drops, so if they’re large, even if they are super-mega perky, there’s enough of a tit-to-rib skin overlap to trap a pencil. Still, even with torpedo/bullet boobs, it doesn’t take much of a fold to trap a pencil.

@MOIDALIZE

So you were fine with this?

Aww sheeeeit. [Insert obligatory SDMB response about bunks and whatnot here]

[MOIDALIZE]

@MeanOldLady

It’s not even about perkiness. First, whose tits are shaped like bullets?

I present to you Aphrodite-A.

You may return to your bunk.

[alice_in_wonderland]

@MeanOldLady

It’s not even about perkiness. First, whose tits are shaped like bullets? There are some people in the world, yes, but most tits are round or shaped like tear drops, so if they’re large, even if they are super-mega perky, there’s enough of a tit-to-rib skin overlap to trap a pencil. Still, even with torpedo/bullet boobs, it doesn’t take much of a fold to trap a pencil.

So I guess I’m not getting my $500, and you’re not eating your hat?

The answer to your questions is that lots of women have Fem-Bot style boobs naturally, including myself. I suspect after I breast feed (assuming I can) I will have no problem failing the pencil test in spectacular fashion; however, for the time being, I do not.

[MeanOldLady]

I thought you said you didn’t want the $500. Even so, I’d like you to tell me where, precisely, you would be placing that pencil so that it wouldn’t drop. If you’re going to place it in the fold (as small as it may be) between her breasts and her ribcage, you’re going to have to find some other reason for me to give you money. I may eat my hat, however, just for the spectacle.

[alice_in_wonderland]

@MeanOldLady

I thought you said you didn’t want the $500. Even so, I’d like you to tell me where, precisely, you would be placing that pencil so that it wouldn’t drop. If you’re going to place it in the fold (as small as it may be) between her breasts and her ribcage, you’re going to have to find some other reason for me to give you money. I may eat my hat, however, just for the spectacle.

The pencil is put in the regular place for such a test - under the boob, next to the ribcage.

Now, I’ve never done the test on the lady pictured; however, I’ve done it on myself. Lift the boob out of the way and place the pencil right in the fold. What happens is the pencil will drop on the inside immediately (i.e. closest to the middle of the chest), hang for a split second at the outside of the breast and fall. The outside of the breast touches the rib cage just a little, but not enough to hold a pencil - not even the skinny little eyebrow pencil I just tried it with.

If I were to round my shoulders and slouch way over so my boobs were actually resting on my ribcage, I could probably keep an entire pencil case in there 'cus the girls are big. (32 E if you’re really that interested).

I don’t want your $500 and I don’t actually want you to eat your hat unless it’s really ugly, in which case a youtube video would be cool.

[Autolycus]

@AClockworkMelon

:rolleyes:

Errr, I think I agreed with you, but it’s hard to know for sure. The roll-eyes is getting old dude. My reply was only 3 short sentences, but at least it was something.