Brain farts a-go-go

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Indeed, very mundane and pointless, but I must share nonetheless, because my coworkers are now laughing at me.

This is the second time this week that I have completely failed in the task of getting coffee from the kitchen.

The first incident happened on Monday (which might explain things); I went to the kitchen, poured the coffee into my mug, added milk, returned to my workspace and noticed a few minutes later that what was actually sitting on my desk was a small container of milk, looking rather out-of-place and dejected upon being deprived of its natural surroundings. Returning to the kitchen, I retrieved a now-decidedly-colder mug of coffee from the refrigerator.

Five minutes ago, I decided to get my morning coffee. I went to the kitchen, poured the coffee into my mug, added milk, and then promptly poured the coffee into the sink and started washing the mug, all while carrying on a small-talk conversation with my coworker who was in the kitchen at the time. I realized what I was doing when I started wondering about the bemused look on her face; the resulting look on mine cracked her up completely. She’s still laughing about it now. The story has also been related to everyone who’s gotten to work today.

A third and final episode happened last week when I was coming to work. I got onto the bus and noticed that it was rather full, but the seat reserved for the blind was available. My thought process went as follows: “Hmm, I wonder if I can sit there.” -> “Well, I will. I mean, I can always get up if I see a blind person getting onto the bus.” -> “auRa, you idiot. You can’t see blind people.”

five seconds pass
realization
hangs head in shame, sits down quietly

I can’t for the life of me comprehend where that came from. I seem to be on a real roll these past few days.

2

Thank you. I feel so much better about the incident the other day when I was pawing through the tray of pens on my desk looking for the purple highlighter, getting very pissed off about not being able to find it – and realizing it was in my other hand.

3

I have suffered this on numerous occasions. Only it’s my keys, having gotten them out well in advance of approaching a locked door that one of them opens, only to arrive and fish around my pocket for them for several moments before realizing my brain had once again failed me.

Then there are the number of times that I’ve gotten on the elevator and pressed the button for the floor I’m already on, fully expecting it to take me where I want to go and then wondering why it doesn’t.

Or the several times I poured milk and sugar in my tea before realizing the one thing I forgot was a tea bag – a realization I came to only when I started to wonder why it wasn’t turning tea-coloured as I stirred.

In fact, just the other day I was making pasta salad. I boiled the pasta and prepared the dressing. I removed the pasta from the heat when it was done and poured it into the collander to drain. Then I poured it from the collander into the bowl with the mix. I started to stir and then realized I’d forgotten the rather important step of running it under cold water, because pasta salad isn’t supposed to be hot. I ended up having to stick it in the freezer for 15 minutes.

4

I remember once my son was asking me about the solar system and I told him that the earth orbits the sun once a day. That would be quite a ride!

5

Hairdresser: So where do you work?

Me: At such and so. <brain formulates small talk: And where do you work?> Mouth stops brain just in time. :smack:

6

Ha!

At work I am sometimes greeted on the phone by a dealer who introduces himself using his account number, so every now and then the following ensues:

Dealer: “Hi, this is account <account number> and I’d like to place an order.”
Me: “Okay, what’s your account number?” :smack:

7

…

Friend: “Hey auRa, you wanna hang out tonight?”
Me: “Sure friend, are you at home right now?”
Friend: “I’m actually leaving work pretty soon, I should be home in about half an hour.”
Me: “Oh, okay. So you’re at home right now?”
Friend: “…no, I’m leaving work pretty soon.”
Me: “So you’re at home now.”
Friend: “Woman, what’s wrong witn you?”

…after which I realize that what I’m, in fact, trying to say is “I’m going home soon.”

I think I do need to go home now. My brain is evidently shutting down for today.

8

I…I think you found the button that puts your brain on standby. Go report your findings in the other MPSIMS thread.

9

So the phenomenon has a name, eh? Brain-fart surely describes what happened to me a couple of weeks ago:

While reading a book at my desk, I decided to use a post-it note to mark a passage. Got up and went into the kitchen to retrieve said notes where I’d left them on the kitchen table/study desk. By the time I made it to the kitchen (a journey of maybe thirty feet) I’d forgotten what I went in there for. Looked around for a few moments to see if anything jogged my memory-- but nothing doing. Returned to my computer desk.
Upon seeing the book I remembered, and went again to the kitchen to get the notes. While shuffling through the clutter I found the stamps I’d misplaced last week. Yay! I grabbed the stamps and returned them to their correct place in the living room. Satisfied with a job well done I returned to my desk. Damn! No post-it notes again.
This time when I went to the kitchen I cleverly carried the book with me so that I’d remember what I wanted. Shuffled papers again and at last located the item. Finally made it back to my desk with the snivelin’ post-it notes, only to find that I had set the book down on the kitchen table and left it there. :smack:

10

Rich Hall calls this “destinesia” in one of his Sniglets books.

11

I was once out with some friends and was mentally checking to make sure I had everything. Wallet, in the back pocket. Cell phone, on the belt clip. Keys, uh oh not in my pocket. “Has anyone seen my keys?”, I asked.

We were in my car. I was driving.

12

I’ve been using the same password for the past 3 weeks. I couldn’t remember it for a full 3-5 seconds when faced with the login screen this morning. I’ve gotten up twice to go talk to one of the SA’s and forgotten to actually go down the hall. I’ve recently forgotten I had gotten coffee and later found a cold cuppa sitting on my desk. I’d blame it on hitting 40, but I’ve been this way my whole life.

13

…Never mind. I forgot what I came in here to post.

14

I had decided I wanted some cheese and crackers on night, so I got the cheese out of the fridge. I got a knife out of the drawer - then proceeded to search the entire kitchen for the block of cheddar I just had in my hand. I must have looked for 10 minutes in complete confusion before I got it out of the knife drawer.

15

The last time I was visiting, Mom claimed that she’d like to have me there “if only because you can actually find my glasses!”

Places where she’s left them:

  • under her ass in the armchair.
  • on top of her head. One time she realized this when she was trying to put her other glasses on and they didn’t fit over her ears.
  • in the bathroom that she claimed to not have used. She hadn’t used it, but she’d gone there to toss dirty clothes in their hamper.
  • on the soil of a potted plant.
  • in the box of the other glasses.

Last Christmas Grandma (92 at the time) complained to my aunt that some times she’ll open the fridge and not remember what is it she wanted. She blamed it on old age. Aunt told her “I’m 29 years younger than you and I’ve been doing that for decades.” Grandma then called Mom, who said the same only the age difference is 27.

16

I left the house yesterday in a pair of mismatched shoes. They were each from a pair of similar, but not that similar, tennis shoes. If the right one hadn’t had a worn heel that felt a little funny, I might not have noticed until I got to work.

17

One night, I had some of my favorite ice cream in the freezer. I scooped some up, straightened up the kitchen and wandered into another room to eat it. The next morning, I opened the frig to get something and there was the remainder of my ice cream. 2/3 of a pint sadly wasted.

18

My worst brain fart was in, I think third grade at St. Monica’s (this is important).

We were in religion class, and my mind was taking its own path, and I sat there idly wondering, “Huh, I wonder how Jesus died,” as the crucifix is sitting there, directly above the board.

19

I had a really embarrasing brain fart a couple of months ago. Names changed to protect the innocent. We were hosting an event on campus that Kim, the admissions coordinator from our college on the main campus usually attends.

I see the woman standing at the table and wave and smile. She smiles back. Many months ago, the admissions coordinator had told me about a woman that used to work on our campus who was planning to marry a grad student from Africa, although this was not widely known at the time, kind of hush-hush in fact.

So I go over to the woman at the table and say, “So is Mary still planning to marry her guy from Ethiopia or Ghanna or wherever?” Woman replies, “Niger! And yes she is.” Me: “That is absolutely fantastic!” We chit-chat a few more minutes about a job search that affects both our campuses, and I leave.

I go off to do something else, and run across my colleague I’d just spoken to sitting in the lobby with her laptop. “Do you want to see a picture?” “Sure!” I reply. She pulls up a photo of Mary and beau at a football game. Going through my head are two thoughts…“Why does Kim have a photo of Mary on her laptop? And, wow, Kim and Mary look so much alike they could be twins! I never noticed that resemblence.”

I still hadn’t gotten it. It dawns on my later…Oh, shit! That wasn’t Kim I was talking to, that WAS Mary! I know both these people well enough that there is no conceivable reason why I should have mistaken one for the other. (They DON’T look like twins!)

I feel like a total idiot and hope Mary thinks that the fact that I referred to her in third-person was part of a general jocularity, the way someone might see me in the hall and ask, “So, how is** freckafree **today?”

I tried to cover for myself be e-mailing her a follow-up to our conversation about the job search. However, since, earlier that morning, someone asked me her name, I said Kim, and that person addressed her as such, I’m pretty sure she knew what I’d done. :smack:

20

I think my best case of “morning stupidity” was when I was running on the treadmill one morning. I was wearing a hoodie when I started because it was kind of cold that morning.

So, I get overly warm and decide to remove the hoodie…while still running.

I proceed to fly off the back of the treadmill with the sweater covering my face, and then attempt to get back on the treadmill with it still like that

…twice.