As part of my morning routine, after I shower and brush my teeth, Iuse mouthwash, and then usually wander around doing something, like putting on clothes, or putting the dishes away, while I swish. It’s not something I really considered a problematic area for subconscious understanding.
But today As I swooshed I sat down at my laptop to check the weather. Then for some reason I cannot possibly understand I turned and spit it out my mouth full of blue Listerine right onto the middle of the beigey carpet. and turned back to the screen. It was really only about 30 seconds later the realization filtered to my conscious mind. It wasn’t burning, or uncomfortable, my brain just decided it was done with it and took it upon itself to eject it.
Now you know where that saying “What, were you raised in a barn or something?” comes from.
The worst brain-fart I’ve had was when I was going down the steps to the basement. At the next to last step, my brain decided we’d reached the ground floor and started walking out into space. Thank goodness that it wasn’t any higher up! Like you, I have NO idea of why my brain made that decision. It was so quick that I was already in a heap at the bottom before I could correct myself.
reading this made me nod, yes I’ve done similarly, and think we might NONE of us ought to be multi-tasking like we always do.
my brain scares me more all the time. last week I was at the dentist getting a crown and told him it was only my second one. he looked in my mouth and said, no, it’s your fourth.
really? for the life of me, I don’t remember the last two, WTF??
This isn’t as bad as the OP, but about once a year I go to pour a cup of dog food into the dog bowl but instead I pour it into the trash can. The dog is not amused.
I remember one morning in high school where I poured my cereal into a glass, grabbed a fork to eat it, and then realized that I’d done something wrong.
This stuff happens. It’s easy to get your normal routine interrupted and you miss a step. Grab the comb that’s about to fall off the sink and you may just pick up your routine where you start combing your hair.
A few years ago I had on an undershirt, but forgot to put another shirt on before going to work. It wasn’t the best looking undershirt either. Usually I don’t put on the work shirt until I’m about to leave the house. It was winter, somehow I just put my heavy coat on and went to work. I was in the elevator on the way up from the parking garage when I opened my coat and realized I never put on the shirt. Luckily there was a place a couple of blocks away where I could pick up a sweatshirt. The sweatshirt was good enough not to bring notice to the lightly enforced dress code. The T shirt would have brought a lot of notice, it was kind of ratty. It’s a 100 mile round trip, so going home and back again wasn’t a reasonable option.
I have a binary malfunction. Anything that has two options, I’ll unconsciously switch them at some point.
Let’s say I’m stringing beans, I put the beans in a bowl and the strings in the little bin for organic garbage. Except at some point I’ll look down and the bowl and the bin each have half beans and half strings.
Or I try to memorise which light is turned on by which switch in a double light switch panel (none of our switch-placings make logical sense, BTW). No matter what mnemonic I come up with, once I’ve memorised it that will now seem like the old “logical but wrong” placement and so I’ll start switching the wrong switch again. The place must look like a flippin’ disco from outside sometimes.
This reminds me of the time I shredded the original instead of photocopying it. I tried to photocopy it at first, got it wrong, shredded the original and then looked at the useless not-copy in my hand feeling all puzzled. It was in the army, too - some sort of plan for shooting practice or something. Luckily the lieutenant whose work I destroyed wasn’t that great at yelling, so I only had to endure a few stern words instead of a full-blown tirade.
I want your dentist. I need to get a tooth pulled and all things dentist scare the bejeezies out of me. If they could give me something so that I don’t even remember the visit, I’d have had this bugger pulled ages ago.
I’ve found the key to that one is to stop thinking about it. I can pull the right chain on the ceiling fan to switch on/off the lights or fan if my mind is otherwise occupied, but if I let myself think “wait, which chain is it again?” the wrong one will be pulled more than half the time. As many times as I try to remember that in the Living room, the Light is controlled by the chain that is slightly Longer (and the opposite in the bedroom,) that just doesn’t work.
I’ve heard it claimed that momentary brain farts, of the type discussed here, are instances of dyslexia.
Somehow this never seemed right. Dyslexia, as I understand it, is a neurological disorder of some sort that makes it difficult to learn how to read. But the “brain fart” type of “dyslexia” is supposed to be just some minor variation of that? This doesn’t sound related at all, to me. Can someone comment on this?
Having moved around the world (country by country, not at one time) I have frequently (usually only once per location) arisen in the middle of the night, turned in the direction of the previous location’s bathroom, and ended up watering the closet.
Never happens in the many hotels when traveling on business.
Maybe just marking my new territory?
