I hate it when my brain makes my body do something either without me thinking about it or while my mind is going “NO DON’T DO THAT!!” Like a few months ago when I fell asleep on the couch and my husband woke me up by sticking his finger in my nostril and I slapped his face. Weird thing is I NEVER “slap” and wouldn’t dream of hurting my husband. It wasn’t even a hard slap, just a gentle tap with my open hand, but I had no conscious thought to do that and even as my hand was reaching up my mind was like “WTF ARE YOU DOING STOP THAT”.
Another time when I was 12 my Dad asked me to massage his shoulder and I punched him - hard - instead. Freaked the shit out of me because I had absolutely no reason to want to punch him at all.
How does your body do stuff like that without you wanting it to?!
It’s like suddenly your mind/body split personalities. Your mind has enough awareness to know the body’s gone off the rails, but not enough control to stop it.
Maybe low level zombie virus infection?
The dyslexia doesn’t sound right because it’s rarely ever repeated. It more like a one time mis-fire from reality.
That very nearly made me spew water onto my keyboard.
I once put a whole chicken carcass into a big pot, then filled it with water, a halved onion, some cloves of garlic, a carrot, a stalk of celery, a bay leaf, and some salt and pepper. I set it to a simmer and let go for a full 8 hours. My apartment smelled wonderful, and I thought about all of the yummy things I could make with the stock.
That doesn’t work because I’ve proven that binary devices actually change state on their own to make sure you always make the wrong selection. So if you remember the L mnemonic, the chain will get shorter to keep you from doing it right. The universe is a cruel MFer.
My best was when I was making pasta the other week.
I was making a cream sauce (from scratch) with veggies and sliced chicken breast. It was coming along nicely. I had the water for the pasta all boiling and I put the pasta into the pot…