I’m sad because I let this stuff get me down. I shouldn’t. This is just a stop-gap clerical job in a sales company. It’s just…hellsbells…my colleagues do say the worst shit.
Here are some examples:
The pushiest, rudest, sales rep - the one who gets the highest figures, but has the lowest social skills - has a habit of staring at me. It’s unnerving, but ultimately innocuous. I can’t complain, because it’s no big deal, but I have described him as ‘pushy’. My manager didn’t like that:
'We don’t say ‘pushy’, we say ‘persuasive’. no hint of sarcasm. no wry smile
The girl I sit opposite:
‘I love asians! I once worked for some asians. Weird people. I think one of them had been forced into having a baby with a distant cousin. Brutal.’
Me : ‘I’m just procrastinating’
Colleague: ‘What does that mean?’
Sales rep: 'My mates ex turned out to be one of those baby rapers. Disgusting. You know what I’d do? I’d send 'em all over to Africa, where those child soldiers live. That’s teach ‘em’
‘I don’t understand why you’re studying alongside working. Youre making a rod for your own back’. -Fair comment, I suppose, but I’ve explained why I study/what I’m studying AD NAUSEUM.
I feel sad, marginalised, unliked and outcast. I need to save up a bit before returning to study. This job is a lifeline. Nevertheless, the conversation makes me feel RAGE. They don’t like me. I don’t like them - and it’s becoming increasingly difficult for me to grin and bare it.