A little help with some work colleagues, please

In My Humble Opinion
1

This is probably longer than it needs to be, and of little to no interest to anybody other than myself. Anyway, I’d appreciate any thoughts or comments as to whether it’s worth carrying on in the hope that things improve or just to jack it in.

When I think about each incident, then it really doesn’t seem a lot, maybe just silliness on my part. But combined as a whole, they really bring me down.

I work at Store X. There is a staff of 7; 5 sales assistants, an assistant manager and the store manager. They all work full time, whereas I only work weekends. As well as that, all have worked there for a year or more, and I have been around for about a month.

For the most part, I have no problems with co-workers M and B. They both are friendly and make conversation. Both will make conversation with me, and if I mention that I am doing something one day, will refer back and ask me about it another day. This is one of the few things I consider that makes me feel they are something close to friends.

I know I don’t go to work to make friends, but if I’m with these people for 15 hours a week, then I’m going to be bloody miserable if we sit there in silence.

The main problem I have is with I and S. They constantly take digs at me. As I said earlier, most of the things are silly and insignificant and I’m probably over-reacting about them. But it is the frequency with which things are said.

For example, I’m a fairly shy person. I started working with these people that have been friends for a long time, and found it difficult to know what to say. Conversations were had that related to things happening during the week, or in the past, and I felt excluded. I know it wasn’t intentional, and I tried to get involved by asking what had happened. This was fine, and I did this a few times without problems, but I felt like a dickhead asking it about every conversation.

When I didn’t say anything, I was made fun of for not talking, and then when I tried to get involved I was mocked again. It was always little things, like my shirt being a little creased, or (bizarrely) looking up work related information on the Internet.

Maybe I’m being oversensitive, and it’s not really that big a deal.

The other thing the two of them do is something I take a lot more personally:

Both I and S are from an Indian background, and speak the same, foreign (to me) language. Sometimes, when myself, I and S are in the room together, they will talk this language and start laughing.

I’m no linguistics expert, but I have some English qualifications, and I know that the only reason they have for talking their own language and not English is exclusion. they are deliberately excluding me, and laughing. Now, what the hell am I meant to think?

Or am I being oversensitive?

I discussed the situation with the store manager, but in more general terms and without naming names. I told him I found it difficult to settle in, and that I sometimes felt excluded. He offered to talk to people, but I felt that it would only make things worse and so we decided to give it a couple of weeks and see how things went.

Nothing has improved.

The second thing that is really getting me down is the general attitude towards customers.

Whenever anybody puts the phone down after a conversation, the customer is a “twat”. Without fail. If you came into the store and asked any question whatsoever, you become a “thick twat”. Unless the staff member cannot answer the question, in which case they are an “awkward twat”.

And God forbid that you should be or do any of the following:

Fat
Thin
Over dressed
Under dressed
Ugly
Good looking
Ginger
Blonde
Tall
Short
Rich
Poor
Just browsing, thanks
Transvestite
Homosexual
Turning up just as we open
Turning up just as we close
Having a complaint or a problem

Because everyone (including management) will wait until you have left the store and insult the living hell out of you. Not just a little bit, either. One man (dressed as a lady), was given a nickname and a SONG. My co-workers spent time and effort coming up with a song about this person. The manager got involved with the joking too, and that to me is taking it too far.

I understand that a fair amount of joking and mocking goes with any job, but I believe that the manager has a duty to stay out of it and show some authority. Not swear and get involved as much as anyone else.

This extremely personal nature of the insulting, and lack of reprimand or consequence makes me very uncomfortable, especially when coupled with the behaviour of I and S towards myself.

Or maybe I’m just oversensitive?

Then I saw the store manager and M watching hard core pornography on a laptop in the office. I feel I should make a complaint, but I don’t want to be seen as an awkward “twat”.

The ideal situation would be for myself or the manager to talk to I or S individually, but I feel that this would only inflame things – S has a tendency to argue, fight and row for the sake of it. Anyway, I get the feeling that they’d just use it – I can’t think of the right way of saying this – against me.

Quitting my job is not an option yet, unless I have another job lined up – I’m only a student, and this is my only source of income. Should I start looking elsewhere? Maybe just suck it up and let them have their fun and hope it stops? Take things to head office? But will that just make them start doing things behind my back?

As you can maybe tell, I’m a little confuzled by this, so any help is mucho appreciato.

  • n
2

My opinion is that you should just put up with this job and be as polite as possible…

UNTIL you can find another job. Just start looking PRONTO!!!

Even IF the stuff you mentioned isn’t a big deal, if it is getting you down you should look for a job somewhere else. Sounds like another job couldn’t really be any worse than where you are now!

Just my opinion!

:slight_smile:

3

I’d start looking elsewhere, if I were you. They aren’t going to change their attitudes, and it’ll just make you miserable to come to work every day.

And I don’t know about your company, but in the US (I take it by your choice of phrases that you aren’t American) most companies ban the use of pornograhy, and to have it around making people uncomfortable can be considered sexual harassment, which can be a very big deal. You could report that to your district manager, if there is such a person. But mostly, I’d say no job is worth that sort of thing, and try and find something else. It’s getting close to Christmas - jobs in retail should be plentiful.

StG

4

It looks like since the manager is a participant in this inappropriate and offensive behavior, you don’t have much chance of getting things changed, and it seems you should start looking elsewhere. The manager clearly doesn’t care about the quality of the staff and customer service and it probably isn’t worth trying to change a system that is in place.

While you are still there, do your best to do a good job and frankly, don’t worry about being too polite to these people. I don’t mean be rude in front of customers, but they don’t seem like the kind of people you need to worry about making your friends.

Shy people will always be picked on by obnoxious people but rest assured the problem is with them, not you. You are not being over-sensitive, but neither will you change these people’s way of treating others.

Good luck finding something new and better.

5

I would find a new job, then before leaving let your district manager (or whoever is your manager’s boss) know exactly what is going on. Write a letter if you don’t feel comfortable doing it in person. The higher ups in this company need to know what is going on. I’ve been a retail manager, and this kind of work behavior (especially porn!) is not acceptable.

6

Here is a lesson for you you can take to real world jobs later in life:

Figure out a way to get along with people you don’t like. You can’t pick your coworkers (unless you are in HR) and you can’t just up and change jobs whenever things are “uncomfortable”.

The “problem” may be with them but you are the one who is unhappy with the situation. YOU need to figure out a way to deal with the situation - talk to them, kick their ass, ignore them, whatever. Running away from uncomfortable social situations is not a good habit to get into.

7

That is a very…interesting work situation. You’re not oversensitive; your coworkers and managers are not very nice people.

Someone told me once that management sets the tone for a business, so I would have to say your manager is mostly to blame for the lousy atmosphere you’re working in (especially since s/he is not only allowing it, but participating in it). IMO, there will be no changes at this job with that manager. I think that alone will require a decision on your part - is it bad enough to look for other work?

As for being shy and not always comfortable with the other staff, I have had this problem in the past too. At some jobs I’ve worked at, I just haven’t fit in, and I never got comfortable with the people. As I am in my mid-thirties now, my attitude is “screw 'em if they don’t like me - their loss”, but that had to develop over time - I would suggest you start working on it now. My advice is to talk to the ones who seem friendly, and bring a book so you don’t have to talk to the ignorant ones.

Oh, and the comments about the customers? Tacky, ignorant, and very unprofessional. People who talk about other people talk about you, too. Best to be aware of this and not let their smallness bother you as you look for better working conditions.

8

Thanks everyone for the responses, and the kind words.

S and I’s new trick is talking Urdu or something, and asking questions along the lines of “do you have a small dick” / “do you fuck your sister”. Hilarious. No, really. Shoot me. :rolleyes:

The solution to my little dilemma has come about in a roundabout way. My job description has changed, meaning that I will now process contracts for my colleagues, with them picking up the comission (I don’t work enough hours to gain comission, so it’s not that I am bothered about - they are getting credit for my work.)

As well as that, I’m supposed to train three new Saturday staff members on the things I just learned.

I’m totally opposed to that idea, so I’m riding out the next few weeks of work and looking for a new job.

The only question is whether to kick up a fuss with head office; whether it is worth letting them know the bullshit that goes on in the store.

I don’t want to be a pain in the arse, and just have everyone hate me, but then I don’t want the same situation to carry on to other new employees.

  • n
9

With management being part of the problem…I would start looking elsewhere pronto. I would try to let someone higher up know about the porn issue.

About the attitude…everywhere you go there will be at least one person who’s hard to get along with. But when the attitude is from your supervisor…I couldn’t make mayself stick around for that kind of mental abuse.

I admire your concern for the new employees.