This is probably longer than it needs to be, and of little to no interest to anybody other than myself. Anyway, I’d appreciate any thoughts or comments as to whether it’s worth carrying on in the hope that things improve or just to jack it in.
When I think about each incident, then it really doesn’t seem a lot, maybe just silliness on my part. But combined as a whole, they really bring me down.
I work at Store X. There is a staff of 7; 5 sales assistants, an assistant manager and the store manager. They all work full time, whereas I only work weekends. As well as that, all have worked there for a year or more, and I have been around for about a month.
For the most part, I have no problems with co-workers M and B. They both are friendly and make conversation. Both will make conversation with me, and if I mention that I am doing something one day, will refer back and ask me about it another day. This is one of the few things I consider that makes me feel they are something close to friends.
I know I don’t go to work to make friends, but if I’m with these people for 15 hours a week, then I’m going to be bloody miserable if we sit there in silence.
The main problem I have is with I and S. They constantly take digs at me. As I said earlier, most of the things are silly and insignificant and I’m probably over-reacting about them. But it is the frequency with which things are said.
For example, I’m a fairly shy person. I started working with these people that have been friends for a long time, and found it difficult to know what to say. Conversations were had that related to things happening during the week, or in the past, and I felt excluded. I know it wasn’t intentional, and I tried to get involved by asking what had happened. This was fine, and I did this a few times without problems, but I felt like a dickhead asking it about every conversation.
When I didn’t say anything, I was made fun of for not talking, and then when I tried to get involved I was mocked again. It was always little things, like my shirt being a little creased, or (bizarrely) looking up work related information on the Internet.
Maybe I’m being oversensitive, and it’s not really that big a deal.
The other thing the two of them do is something I take a lot more personally:
Both I and S are from an Indian background, and speak the same, foreign (to me) language. Sometimes, when myself, I and S are in the room together, they will talk this language and start laughing.
I’m no linguistics expert, but I have some English qualifications, and I know that the only reason they have for talking their own language and not English is exclusion. they are deliberately excluding me, and laughing. Now, what the hell am I meant to think?
Or am I being oversensitive?
I discussed the situation with the store manager, but in more general terms and without naming names. I told him I found it difficult to settle in, and that I sometimes felt excluded. He offered to talk to people, but I felt that it would only make things worse and so we decided to give it a couple of weeks and see how things went.
Nothing has improved.
The second thing that is really getting me down is the general attitude towards customers.
Whenever anybody puts the phone down after a conversation, the customer is a “twat”. Without fail. If you came into the store and asked any question whatsoever, you become a “thick twat”. Unless the staff member cannot answer the question, in which case they are an “awkward twat”.
And God forbid that you should be or do any of the following:
Fat
Thin
Over dressed
Under dressed
Ugly
Good looking
Ginger
Blonde
Tall
Short
Rich
Poor
Just browsing, thanks
Transvestite
Homosexual
Turning up just as we open
Turning up just as we close
Having a complaint or a problem
Because everyone (including management) will wait until you have left the store and insult the living hell out of you. Not just a little bit, either. One man (dressed as a lady), was given a nickname and a SONG. My co-workers spent time and effort coming up with a song about this person. The manager got involved with the joking too, and that to me is taking it too far.
I understand that a fair amount of joking and mocking goes with any job, but I believe that the manager has a duty to stay out of it and show some authority. Not swear and get involved as much as anyone else.
This extremely personal nature of the insulting, and lack of reprimand or consequence makes me very uncomfortable, especially when coupled with the behaviour of I and S towards myself.
Or maybe I’m just oversensitive?
Then I saw the store manager and M watching hard core pornography on a laptop in the office. I feel I should make a complaint, but I don’t want to be seen as an awkward “twat”.
The ideal situation would be for myself or the manager to talk to I or S individually, but I feel that this would only inflame things – S has a tendency to argue, fight and row for the sake of it. Anyway, I get the feeling that they’d just use it – I can’t think of the right way of saying this – against me.
Quitting my job is not an option yet, unless I have another job lined up – I’m only a student, and this is my only source of income. Should I start looking elsewhere? Maybe just suck it up and let them have their fun and hope it stops? Take things to head office? But will that just make them start doing things behind my back?
As you can maybe tell, I’m a little confuzled by this, so any help is mucho appreciato.
- n