I’m looking for advice or suggestions on how to let this go and to stop feeling hurt about it.
I work in an office setting at a job I like with people I like. I’ve made a real effort to be nice and friendly, work as a team and have their backs. So I do things like always have chocolate (that I purchase) at my desk, bring in occasional treats for all the admins, like Bubble Tea. Just one round for the 5 admins is $30. Whenever there is a day where we can all leave early, someone has to stay behind because it’s a government office and it has to stay open till 4:30. In the 8 months that I’ve been there, there have been about half a dozen of these days and I have always offered to stay so the others can go home early. Two times it’s been from noon on that I’ve been there by myself. They have families and I don’t so it makes sense for them to go home more than it does for me. If I ever have a time where I don’t have any work to do, I right away start sending out emails asking if anyone needs any help.
What I’m trying to say is that this job is very important to me and I’ve made a real effort to be reliable, friendly and hard working.
So the other day I’m sitting at my desk working on something and one of the admins (let’s call her Sally) went over to the fax machine then came over to my desk, shook a piece of paper at me and said “see this is why you need to check the fax machine!” then sort of put it down on my desk a bit hard. I was quite taken aback because we’ve never had any sort of conversation about me not checking the fax machine. Sally gets in about an hour before I do and one of the things she does is check the fax machine for junk mail and chucks it out. The next admin (I’ll call her Judy) gets in about half an hour before me, and she checks it as well. When I get in I occasionally glance at it but I’ve yet to see anything there, even once by the time I look.
We do get faxes during the day but what normally happens is either the person who is expecting the fax comes and collects it or they tell me they are expecting a fax and when it comes in I get it and take it to their office. Sally and Judy work in the same area as I do but they are in a different department than I am. In the 8 months that I’ve been there, 2 faxes have come for someone in my department that I did not grab right away, one was junk and one was for “John”. The one for John came the other day and started the whole brouhaha.
So Sally plops the paper on my desk and I admit I was quite annoyed about how she acted but I didn’t say anything about it. What I did say was “it’s probably junk mail but if it isn’t I’ll leave it here on my desk and if John comes for it I’ll know where it is”. So Sally calls over to Judy “Judy, aren’t we responsible for checking the fax machine?” Judy says “yes, we are”. So Sally tells her that there is this fax for John and I’m just leaving it on my desk (remember that they do not work for my department) so Judy gets up, comes over to my desk, grabs the fax and says “if it says it’s for John, it goes to John!” and storms down the hall to my department to give it to John.
This whole time I’m not saying anything because this is all so out of left field I am kind of speechless. In 8 months we’ve never had a single bad word between us and spend the day chatting and working and having a pretty good time.
So I just turned around and sat down, didn’t say another thing and left when it was time to go home. The next morning I came in, said “good morning” and sat down and kept to myself and they didn’t talk to me for the entire day. I debated going to my boss but I just don’t want to come across as a baby who needs her boss to handle her problems. So I didn’t talk to her (she’s totally awesome btw).
So today I just did the same thing when I came in, said “good morning” and got to work. At about midday my boss calls me and asks me to come down to see her. When I got there she told me that Judy had some to her and said that I refused to deliver the fax and chucked it in the garbage and she fished it out and delivered it to John. I told my boss that never happen and told her what did. She said she believed me and that she would talk to Judy. I saw Judy head down towards my boss’s office so I knew she’d gone down to talk. She came back and again, the two of them didn’t say a word to me.
I’m so surprised at all this, it’s just bizarre to me. I feel betrayed and extremely hurt that they would lie about me to my boss. I have been on the verge of tears for two days now, but I’ve managed to keep it together.
I need to let this go but I don’t know how. The way I would deal with something like this in the past is to just quit my job. I’m not going to do that this time. I really like my job and I even like these two ladies, we’ve always had a great working relationship, though I will never trust them again.
Please, does anyone have any advice on just letting it go and not feel hurt about it? I know some people love to thread shit on anyone who asks for advice, I am asking if you don’t have something constructive to say, please stay out of the thread. I don’t mind someone saying “you need to let it go and forget about it” but please no “don’t be such a fucking pussy you stupid bitch”
If you have read all this, you rock.