I need the Dope on a problem at work.

In My Humble Opinion
1

OK, so here’s the situation. My boss, a nice enough woman with a lot on her plate asked me to do a job at the library a certain way. This was a job I hadn’t really done before and usually passed on to another worker, but for some reason, she told me to do it, so I do. This was two days ago.

One day ago, I have done the job the way she asked and emailed the rest of the people in my department, including her. Jane–Let’s call her Jane–then emails me back saying that I had done it wrong (FTR, I am positive I did it according to her guidelines) and that she’d correct it. I then look in my inbox to find that she had forwarded a message explaining how I did it wrong to everyone in my department. I was kind of mortified.

Today was my boss’s day off. As a result of this email, I get into yet another argument with the other worker–let’s call him Frank (Meet Frank)–who, as it turns out, maintains that this was his job and why was I stepping all over this. I tell him that Jane asked me to do it, he gets huffy, I get ticked, and . . . well, it wound up being kind of a long day.

This was really embarrassing to me, and I hate getting into arguments with my coworkers. It’s a big library, but a small desk, and it’s sort of like getting into an argument with your bunkmate on a submarine, ya’ know? I’m thinking about talking with Jane when she gets back next week after the Memorial Day holiday. Just something like “You know, Jane, I like you a lot, but what you did wasn’t cool. In the future, could you please come to me first and let me deal with my coworkers instead of doing this?”

Here’s why I want your opinions. My family has always been kind of migratory. We moved quite a bit when I was a kid. In addition, I was pretty migratory too, going from high school to college to the army to Boston to school in Boston over the course of about ten years. Therefore, while I have had quite a few part-time jobs, this is only my second civilian full-time job (The first lasted less than a year, thanks to the Great Tech Purge of 2001 and some seriously screwed up personalities.). I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do, and I’m not sure if I should be worked up over this.

Therefore, I’m asking the opinion from any Doper who has a lot of full-time work experience. Would I be out of line in talking to the boss about this even if I did it politely or respectfully? Is this the kind of thing that goes on a lot at the office, and can I safely blow it off, or should I be worried? To what extent would you blow off this kind of misunderstanding before you took action, and what action would you take? I’m looking for opinions, anecdotes, or anything else you think is worthwhile.

A few additional facts:

  1. I’m a hard worker, I’ve never been late once, and I never complain about extra work. In fact, I volunteer for extra work. I’ve balanced work and night school for a while now, and I plan to keep doing so until at least I finish school, and probably quite a bit longer. In addition, I’m nice to the library patrons, and I pride myself on never having to raise my voice to or call security on any of the students or other patrons. I enforce the rules strictly, and I have gotten into it with some patrons, but I’ve always gotten them to do what I say without either getting angry or threatening. I am more proud of this fact than anything else when it comes to the job.

  2. Jane is really a good person. She’s a good boss, and she’s always respectful, even when she chews me out. She can be a bit of a micromanaging control freak, though. Still, as anyone who works in academic libraries can tell you, the time between the spring and summer semesters is the silly season, and we’re all a little bit stressed out. The above situation is definitely an anomaly.

  3. #1 notwithstanding, I am far from perfect. I’m absent-minded, and sometimes I do make mistakes. Because of this, I think Jane lets me work with the customers and keeps the real techy stuff to the others. Then again, everyone makes mistakes at the circulation desk. I’ve caught Jane and the others in a few–though I’ve never called them on it–and I kind of resent being treated like a flunkey. (Jane can be a bit condescending without realizing it.) FTR, I am positive I did this job the way Jane asked me to.

  4. While I don’t plan on working this job for the next 30 years, I really do like it, and I don’t want to jettison before at least getting my second masters, and very likely not even then. I enjoy working with patrons and helping them out, and it’s not like I hate anyone at the desk (except Frank, of course, but then again, no one likes Frank very much). I count myself lucky to have this job for the time being.

Please feel free to be as candid as you wish. If you think I’m whiny, please say so. I’ll answer any questions you have as straightforwardly as I can without giving up my ID. As I’ve said, the reason I’m asking you all this is because I have next to no experience in full time jobs and the politics entailed. I have nothing upon which to base a decision, and this MB seems like it’s full of good people with good common-sense advice.

Is this situation just something I can blow off and chalk up to a bad day, or should I talk to Jane? Should I just grin and bear the Franks of the world, or should I call them on it? Are office politics to be avoided in general, or do I have to get involved.

Thanks for your help.

2

DOCUMENT! Save every email pertinent to this…

There, with that out of the way, if you feel comfortable doing it then I would certainly have a casual word - you felt that you had done the right thing, you want to make sure that you do the right thing if you have to do the task in the future, you felt that she should have just come to you to fix it rather than emailing everyone.

However, I’ve dealt with the emailing everyone to tell me off behaviour before and it can stem from malice you didn’t even know about… so you might want to quietly reflect on that and if there are currents you didn’t previously notice in your relationship with your boss. Don’t get paranoid but be smart. You are right to question her telling you off in front of everyone… just question a little more whether it was careless behaviour because she was just reply alling in response to your mass mail, or whether it might have been a subtle jab for some reason.

3

I think your situation is very annoying, and that it would not be out of line if you spoke to your boss about her actions in a “going forward from here” sort of way, particularly since you seem to think she *is * a good manager. However, I would not raise this incident beyond stating your embarrassment that she handled it as publicly as she did unless *Frank * appears to be holding a grudge. Then I think you need to raise it to Jane as a more or less separate issue, explaining that Frank is blaming you for having done this at all, and for having done it “wrong” when she gave you the assignment and told you how to do it, which you followed to the best of your understanding. It’s important that, if you raise the issue, you allow for the possibility that while you believe you followed her instructions precisely, it might have been a misunderstanding/miscommunication. This allows both of you to save face, even when you know damned well that the mistake was hers, not yours.

4

I wouldn’t bring up the email, personally. I would go to her and say, “Gosh, I’m awfully sorry about the X. I thought I was following your instructions to the letter!” Ask her to explain how she meant it to go. It doesn’t really matter at this point that she told you one thing and then turned it around later. But you want to bring her attention to it so that next time she’s more likely to remember how she told you to do it. If there is a next time for any similar task, take a notebook, write down notes on how she says to do it, then have her look the notes over. If you can get her to write it down, even better.

Good luck.

5

Yeah, that’s actually been bothering me. Frank is a royal bastard, and I have come very close to reporting him to HR. He is very much aware of this fact. Frank has a tendency to badmouth people behind their backs, and while I’m sure everyone in the library is aware of this, it does make me a little paranoid about office politics.

6

I’d probably just let it go. Work isn’t generally fun. That’s why they have to pay you to be there. I think dealing with this kind of crap just comes with the territory. “Office politics” are an unpleasant fact of life.

7

Wow, I’ve never even looked at it like that before. Jane’s not really the malicious type, but she’s not always straightforward either . . . I don’t think she’s actively trying to get rid of me. She assigns me regular work, which, while not techy, isn’t exactly flunkey work, and she’s already make my schedule up for the fall semester . . .

On the other hand, it is a small desk, and I’ve found that people get riled when they’re in a cramped location, especially if they’re under the gun . . . I dunno. Could it be that I’m not fitting in? I have felt that too, but then again, I’ve always felt that no matter where I’ve been, and it hasn’t always been true. People told me that I was the first person to stand up to Frank, and while I don’t regret that, it wasn’t like that made Jane’s job any easier. Hmmm.

8

Thanks, Ghanima. That was my first instinct too. Like I said, it’s not like I see myself being here for the next 30 years. It’s not that kind of job. If someone wants to play cuthroat politics, that’s their hangup.

On the other hand, I want to get along as best I can and nip a small problem in the bud before it becomes a large problem. Part of the reason Frank turned into such a monster is that no one dealt with his attitude problem before me (and Frank’s been here a while). If there’s a problem, I want to at least address it before it snowballs into something, and I find my next career centering around Lysol and a mop-bucket.

9

Well, as I said, don’t get paranoid about it :slight_smile: Just at least document in case it is something. And it sounds like you are a good and conscientious employee. I know what you mean about not fitting in - but I hear that from a lot of people where I work and you’d never know… lots of people have that kind of feeling… myself included sometimes! It can be a self-fulfilling prophecy so that nagging sense is one I personally try to stay chilled out about.

10

  1. Do not tell Jane that what she did wasn’t “cool” – she’s the boss, she’ll decide what is cool.

  2. Try to give her the benefit of the doubt about the mass email. Was she really telling you off in a mass email? Maybe the incident made her realize that everyone at the desk could use a refresher on the procedure, and thought this would be a handy way to let everyone know. Was that a good move? No, not really.

  3. Frank is a jerk, but at the same time, the work force is full of them.

  4. Talk to Jane, but in a moving forward kind of way.

  5. Points to make with Jane:

a. You’re sorry you did it incorrectly, specify where the misunderstanding might have happened “I thought you asked me to do A, B, and then C and D.” This might result in a light bulb moment for one or both of you “Oh! When you said this, I thought we were talking about this other thing!”

b. briefly, and without too much detail or malice, explain that as a result, it caused a less than ideal situation involving you and Frank. Jerk that he is, I would try to keep it about the situation, and not about Frank as an individual. If she has half a brain, Jane will be able to read between the lines, and you will come off looking more professional. Suggest that in the future, you would like to improve your working relationship with Frank, and ask if Jane could support you on this. Be specific with your suggestions as to how you would like to work with Frank if the situation arose again. Ask if her she has suggestions for you about handling the issue with Frank.

  1. It is good to document via email, but I always recommend having a verbal conversation first, and then follow up with an email summarizing your understanding of the outcome. I think it’s safer, because you can gauge Jane’s reactions better face to face, and that will help you know which points you want to stress in your email.

Or, you could always let the whole thing go, you have to pick your battles. Good luck!

11

There is nothing wrong with asking your boss to treat you in a more respectful way. I had a boss who traveled frequently who used to yell at me on voicemail and leave angry messages when he perceived that I had done something wrong. I was extremely frustrated because this gave me no opportunity to apologize or explain. Finally, when he was in the office one day, I asked if I could speak to him for a moment. I explained to him that I would prefer that he express his displeasure with me in person so that I could respond. He was genuinely surprised that I was bothered by his voicemails, but after I explained why they were a problem, he promised that he would change his behavior, and he kept his promise. I worked for him for several years after that, and I was always glad that I had spoken up.

Not quite the same situation, but I once had a new boss who regularly called me baby – not in a sexy way, just, “Could you hand me that folder, baby?” (I’m female). After three days I took him aside and asked him to please refer to me by my name. He started to tell me how he didn’t mean anything by it, that it was just his way, but I told him that it was inappropriate. As in the other case, he promised not to do it again and was true to his word.

In both of these cases, the boss had no idea that he was doing anything wrong. It might be the same way with Jane. Perhaps she was angry and whipped off an email to the department without even thinking about how you might feel. Since it sounds like you have a good relationship, I would take her aside in a quiet moment and tell her that it made you uncomfortable that she sent the email to the entire department and ask her to please come to you privately in the future.

As far as Frank goes, I’d leave that alone. There is nothing managers hate more than to have to mediate disputes among their subordinates. Unless there is a specific work-related grievance, they tend to just see it as a case of neither party being able to work well with others.

12

Having worked in an academic library for about a year, this is a case where the politics are ugly because the stakes are small.

Here’s my take - If you can let this go, I would. If someone brings a problem to the boss’s attention, she needs to address it ASAP, and sometimes subordinates get screwed in this process. If you can let roll off your back like water off a duck, so much the better. If it’s not a habit, don’t worry about it. If you ever have the opportunity to reprimand someone, choose private over public, but don’t get worked up about it if your boss isn’t able to do it the right way 100% of the time. Maybe her boss or another bigwig or a respected peer asked her to make sure the confusion was addressed right away.

Also, about Frank. You may need to do something, but don’t go to HR. HR’s role in organizations is frequently misunderstood. HR’s job is to advise management. They are not an employee advocate/guidance counselor/shoulder to cry on. You will gain the most credibility by addressing Frank directly with specific issues. Barring that, your supervisor would be the person to go to, and go to her with solutions, not just a whine. Solutions might be “I have asked Frank twice not to eat tuna fish at the desk, but he’s still doing it. Do you agree that’s not professional? Would you ask him to stop?”

13

THANK YOU!! This is exactly the kind of thing I’m looking for, because it’s the kind of thing I never realized about “job” jobs. I’m proud of my non-traditional background, but in the past year or so, I’ve been forced to realize that it’s left me unprepared for the mechanisms and intricasies of this kind of work. Harriet, and others, you’re saving me a whole lot of time and trouble with your advice. Please keep it coming. :slight_smile:

14

IMHO this is 100% incorrect. What if the boss was a guy and thought asking his admin for sex was a real cool idea. Would that be “cool”? :rolleyes:
I would sit down with Jane and tell her that you need to get a few things straight so that there are no misunderstandings in the future.
First off were you supposed to do the job or was Frank. If you were supposed to do the job, why did Frank complain to you? If she was taking the job from Frank, why didn’t she tell him? If it was still Frank’s job, then way did she ask you to do it? Now how are we going to prevent this from happening again?

Next about how you did the job, go over her instructions, and find out where the misunderstanding. Next time I suggest you take notes. Did I mention read them back to your boss before you leave the room, and get agreement?

Lastly “Jane, did you really mean to send that e mail raking me over the coals on this project to everybody in the office? Why?”
There are two possible responses here.
No, I didn’t mean to send it to the entire office. In this case you have to ask your self is this person so stupid or air-headed that they do not know the difference between reply and reply all? If they are that dumb you might want to find another job. In any event ask for an apology via e-mail with copies to all the people on the first list.

If the answer is Yes, then tell her that the first rule of management is praise in public, and kick ass in private. Tell her that if she ever does that again, you will ask for a meeting between you, her, HR and your lawyer. Ask for an e-mail apology sent to everybody that got the first one.

15

If she wants to keep this job, this is terrible advice. The boss was tactless, sure. It’s embarrassing. But you do not improve your working conditions by threatening the boss. This reaction is over the top, in my opinion.

16

Ummmm, this is a little over the top, doncha think? It’s not like I don’t like Jane. Actually, even if I didn’t like her, this sounds really unprofessional. Sorry, Rick, I can’t see eye-to-eye with you on this. Major overreaction.

17

Thanks for your advice (I’m a “he” btw. The librarian thing throws people sometimes.). :wink:

18

Gosh darn it. I’m sorry!

19

No problem, js, I’ve been called worse. :slight_smile:

20

Well, no, it wouldn’t be cool, but I’m not sure how that relates to this situation. With the information provided, Jane didn’t violate any policies nor any laws. And if my boss ask for sex, my response wouldn’t include “that isn’t cool.” My point was more that you can tell your friends to stop doing something because it isn’t cool, but that’s not the way I would frame a conversation with my boss. For a more serious situation (asking for sex), I would have a more serious conversation, citing the policies that had been violated. For a smaller issue, which this seems to be, I would be more inclined to let it go, working toward a larger goal of avoiding such a situation in the future.

My answer might be different if we got more background from the OP about the actual content of the email. Did Jane say “Because *Linty Fresh is an ignorant slut, and screwed the pooch on that project six ways to Sunday, we’re all behind on work!”? Or was it more like “Yesterday this project was done incorrectly, and I need all desk workers to be clear that the correct procedures are as follows: etc etc etc”? The second option is clumsy, but probably within Jane’s purview as the manager.