Do all office jobs suck?

In My Humble Opinion
1

My good friend has been tight-lipped lately when I ask him about work. Finally I got it out of him as to what his problem is - he feels his co-workers (I guess cow-orkers would apply here) talk too much about personal problems at work, are gossipy and clique-y and are a generally frustrating, immature bunch to work with.

He’s the youngest person in his office - 23 - but is in the highest position. Has his own office and all (everyone else is outside his door in a cube farm). He’s not the manager or supervisor tho, just the sys admin.

He says they like to come into his office and chitchat about personal problems, or they take work issues personally. For examples, one lady comes in and talks about her infidelity (which he abhors, but he’s afraid to express it). Another came in last week about to spout off to him about something, he said he was busy, she took it personally, so later another cow-orker came in and made a big deal about how this first lady was upset, and was about to tell him why and he said “I don’t care” - which then personally pissed off this second lady.

It’s not like he’s outwardly mean. On the contrary - he’s so nice, and that’s why people come to him with their problems. But he DOES have alot of work to do and he DOES have deadlines.

But it’s seriously bringing him down.

Unfortunately, I have never worked in an office environment. I did foodservice forever and then had a summer stint as an intern at a young, hip Web site where I didn’t encounter these problems. Now I work at home where my only involvement with co-workers is the 2 guys I talk to during the day over IM.

So I didn’t have any advice for him other than stuff I read here or in Cosmo - tell his supervisor (who is not only spineless but also guilty of chit-chat) or put a note on his door that says if he door is closed it means he’s too busy to talk. Telling his supervisor is out, but he is considering the note on the door. He thinks it might cause too much of a stir, tho.

I also told him that I thought, unfortunately, ALL offices are like this. If his skills are that of a sysadmin, any office he would get a job at in the future would be like this. It seems tho that my opinions on the matter come from Pit postings here and some of the venting my mom does (not too often) about her life at her office.

What do you think - is it possible for him to get a different job where he won’t run into stupid immature office banter (basically a highschool environment) or is there hope for him?

What else can I tell him to do to get past this problem?

2

It depends on the people in the office. A great bunch of people in the office could make a miserable desk job appealing.

3

If he doesn’t care about what their problems are, he can continue not to care about a “stir” that might occur if he shuts his door to the personal diarrhea his cow-workers spew. As long as he gets the job done, he is not obligated to be the company psychiatrist. Really now, who cares if they get pissy? Fuck 'em.

4

All office-type jobs managing people isn’t like that. My guess would be that the crew he manages is relatively low rent and/or that he just is easy to walk all over.
At one of the companies I used to work for, our manager had previously managed a crowd of the type who were likely to be stealing staplers from the office and such. So we all ended up looking at him funny when he was trying to keep the keys to the cabinet with all the pencils and such secret. (Dude…I just bought a new Audi; why are you worried about me stealing the paper clips?)

5

'Cuz you just bought a new Audi. :smiley:

6

I work in a cube farm in a job I love, but - we all do talk about some personal stuff throughout the day to kill time as we go about our repetitive tasks. This isn’t usually a problem until some clueless passerby listens in and repeats elsewhere what they hear out of context. The only way to avoid gossip is to not indulge in it at all. When people around you start to gossip, excuse yourself. And if you’re trapped in your office when the gossips come around, you’ll just have to make a point of having the door closed all the time. Let the door be your barometer of availability.

7

No, all office jobs are not like that.

But the situation at that particular office is unlikely to improve. The crowd who’s there has developed a style that doesn’t fit your friend’s personality or expectations.

2 suggestions for your friend’s next job, which he’ll be getting sooner or later.

  1. Start from Day one behaving like you will for the long haul. I suspect he started out being friendly and open and when the whine-avalanche hit, then he tried to shut them out. While not unreasonable from his point of view, it looks inconsistent from their point of view. He set up one set of expectations, then didn’t deliver on them.

  2. Understand and accept that in many, many offices, many people do about 4 hours of work and waste the other 4 hours. I’ve worked in offices and lots of other venues as well, and I’m forever amazed at how stunningly inefficient most office environments are, mostly as a result of management being unable or unwilling to develop any production-oriented mentality. There are some legitimate obstacles to doing so, so its not purely incompetence.

Some offices are tight ships, others are social clubs. The good news is that if the office is a social club, you can, if you want join in and also work 4 hours and yak 4 hours. It doesn’t sit well with me, but some folks find that very stress-free.

8

There are lots of time management books that have tips on effective nonverbal ways to minimize interruptions. Many are more subtle than the sign on the door, but that can work, too. He may be able to take advantage of the technical nature of his job to make the sign more palatable, like “Systems integration coding requires my full concentration. Do not disturb, please send email.”

Others are -
-Make sure your desk doesn’t have you facing the door. People see that eye contact and just come in.
-Remove any extra chairs from the office.
-When you have to talk with someone, go to their desk, don’t invite them to yours. That way you control when you leave.
-Be assertive about leading the conversation to a conclusion. “Jane, I have a deadline today. Can we cover this in 5 minutes, or do we need to schedule more time to talk tomorrow.”
-Schedule all meetings on your email calendar. Don’t take drop ins. Even phone calls and 15 minute increments if necessary.

Also, is your friend a young man in an office full of women? I work in a female dominated field and have seen this dynamic often. Sometimes those guys are just a magnet for either flirtatious or maternal attention. It can work to the advantage of their career, but of course it can get on their nerves, too.

I would suggest the aggressive time management tips above, matched with setting aside an hour (or whatever is the appropriate amount of time) to return systems-related appointments by walking the floor, saying hi to everyone, and building positive relationships.

9

Well, it totally depends what you mean by “suck”. But yeah…to a certain extent if you are working in a cubicle farm for 5-figures a year there are some constants:

-You are not working with what I would call extraordinary people. These aren’t doctors, NASA scientists, high-powered lawer and bankers (although they work in offices too), great musicians. They are just regular middle of the road people.

-These jobs tend to be dull. These people are not making things happen. Their job is to be a small part in a big business machine. They push paper or data around. They generate reports that are probably never read.

-These folks lead very dull lives. They come to their job, go back to their families, watch TV, do whatever on weekends. If they are young and single, they probably spend a lot of time at the bars trying to meet someone to settle down and have a dull boring life with.

10

Depends if you have a lot of interesting people or not.

The cubicle itself is pretty boring, but you can always decorate it. And practical jokes and water cooler sessions break up the repetitive monotony pretty well. :slight_smile:

11

Y’know, I really beg to differ with that. Not to go off on a major tangent, but in many cases you are working with extraordinary parents, artists, chefs, singers, writers, ministers, travelers, emergency responders, and the list goes on. That may not be how they earn a living, but you are tarring with a really broad brush in assuming they live no life beyond the cube farm.

But do most office jobs “suck”? Well, yeah.

12

Agree with everything Harriet said except these, in the OP’s friend’s situation.

I disagree with this one generally; you ALWAYS want to face the door, so you can see when people approach.

In the situation described by the OP, normal etiquette and practical considerations dictate that he be the host. The person who has their own office should hold the meeting, as otherwise he’d have to go out and meet someone in the cube farm, which would be distracting to the other workers.

13

You probably didn’t want me answering, but… now that a certain bad apple co-worker has departed from my workplace, my job is awesome.
I can have guy gossip with one co-worker if I want it. If not, I won’t talk with him for 3 days straight and no one’s feelings get hurt.
All of my current co-workers are people you wouldn’t mind being around, at least not at work.
I get to do my 8 hours a day of working, and when I’m waiting on people to call me back, I write posts about cars or motor oil on the Straight Dope.

14

In a cubicle farm? If they were such an extraordinary chef, singer, writer or whatever, why are they processing TPS reports for some accounting department? In any case you kind of make my point for me. For most of the people in a cubicle-job, the job is just a job. It’s secondary to whatever else they got going on in their lives. Certain jobs tend to define the people working them because they require so much time and effort to even get started in that career - doctors, engineers, lawyers. Many cubicle jobs, unless you are a lawyer or CPA accountant or something, often have nothing to do with a persons background. When your elementary teachers asks you what you want to do for a living, no one says “I want to work in an accounts payable department”.

15

No offense, but you are like, every coworker I’ve ever hated.

Office jobs suck, but then again, all jobs suck. It’s best to just try to shut your mind off or shunt it into another part of your consciousness while you’re there, so the job can’t get into your soul. If it gets into your soul, you’re effectively dead. Your friend is right to ignore the personal problems of his coworkers. Hell, I don’t even know most of my coworker’s names and that’s the way I like it. You won’t get ahead by being the office autistic, but you will keep your mind intact. Twenty-three is too damn young to get your brains scraped out by office drones. It’s sad no matter what the age, but I feel an especially large pang of sadness when I see other young people gossiping about Mabel from accounting or drawing up the plans for crazy hat day.

I’d much rather work in a store or restaurant or something, and I probably will be once my job ends in September, but right now I’m just trying to live a life of quiet desperation. One of the drones introduced herself to me in the elevator the other day and the expression of loathing I gave her was strong enough that I don’t think I’ll be bothered by her or anyone else for the foreseeable future.

16

You sound like a treat to work with. It’s one thing to not want to participate in the ridiculousness of Hawaiian shirt day. It’s quite another to be rude and obnoxious. Now granted they might not have your high aspirations of working in retail or the food service industry, but that doesn’t mean you should make everyones work experience unpleasent.

Always ask yourself this - if you’re such hot shit, why are you working with “drones” and “cow-workers”?

17

For someone who spends a lot of time (in another thread) trying to tell everyone how flippant and non-serious he’s being, you’re sure being defensive here. And yeah, I do think it’s somewhat of a higher aspiration to work in community-owned retail jobs than in a nameless office. At least there you’re affecting people’s lives directly.

18

Nicely done, msmith.

Seriously, notwithstanding your recent Pitting, it’s comments such as this that make reading your posts worthwhile.

19

No, all office jobs don’t suck. Your friend’s does, though. I’ve worked as a temp for the last nine years in various office environments, so I’ve seen a pretty good cross-section of them, and there are all kinds of environments out there. One thing that is constant, though, and someone mentioned it earlier, is that your friend needs to grow a backbone and teach people how he expects them to treat him. I sympathize with him that it is difficult to tell people that he isn’t interested in their infidelities, etc, but he needs to do just that. Politely, of course. When she starts talking about her cheating, he could say something like, “I’m not comfortable discussing that. Could we get back to the work-related topic at hand?”

He also needs to stay out of the gossip sessions. Again, politely reminding people that he has work to do might be all that is needed. My rule of office talk is to not say anything about someone that I wouldn’t say to their face. And keep my own sharing of personal stuff to a minimum - people can’t discuss what you haven’t told them. Well, I guess they could make stuff up, but I honestly don’t think people are that creative. And don’t socialize with them, either, unless he has to.

msmith isn’t completely wrong - for some people, the office politics and gossip are the most interesting part of their lives. It sounds like your friend works with a bunch like this. It is salvageable, I believe, if he does what I’ve said and keeps his professional distance from this “As The Office Turns” group. It might be too late for this job, but he can learn and experiment with this job, anyway.

20

I work in an office, but we don’t have cubicles.

Actually, the nature of the work means a lot of communication between pretty much everyone. This means that you don’t tend to get the cliques and small groups that you get in a lot of places.

This is probably the best place I’ve ever worked.