Brain: You're boring. I'm pitting you.

I swear to Og, my subconscious mind must be composed entirely of baloney and mayo on white bread.

Last night, after dropping off to sleep, I found myself in a shopping market. Standing before a display rack, I was in the lamentable position of having to choose which type of kitchen towel I should buy.

Should I buy the natty green one or go for the more daring plaid design? True, the plaid was more colorful and had an excitingly boxy pattern, but the green towel was fuzzier and probably better at sopping up water. On the other hand, the green towel was fuzzy and might leave crud all over my dishes, a problem the plaid one presumably would not have. I couldn’t make up my mind.

Needless to say, I spent a good half hour, subjectively, debating the finer points of the two towels. I occasionally took side trips to ogle the tempting displays of shelf paper and weigh the merits of buying the yellow plastic egg whisk vs the more traditional stainless steel kind, but it always came back to the towels. Green or plaid?

Pray, did this dream have ninjas or giant robots (or giant robot ninjas)? Did it involve flying space lions or transforming lesbian dinosaur robots? Could I fly, shoot hockey pucks out my butt, knit atomic cross-stich, flip planes out of the air with my two mile long prehensile sticky tongue, find intelligence life in my navel or invent a hyper-intelligent computerized pogo stick? Heck, no. I never seem to get those sorts of dreams these days. At least it didn’t have Bill Cosby in it this time… shudder

I think my subconscious mind is on an infernal quest to turn me into a boring drone… :-\

So did you choose the green or the plaid???

Oooh, I love that dream!

Dude, you do not want interesting dreams. Please give me the towel dreamS! I always have this weird experiences that leave me all tense and haggard when I wake up. The other day I was trying to fight this huge hydra thing that was made out of brass and iron, and it would detach its heads at the neck and the head/necks would crawl along the walls like snakes and come and try to bite me. I didn’t even have a weapon, I just had this rope thing that would stick to the walls so I was swinging around trying to avoid the stupid snakey heads. I woke up sweating and confused. What the heck?

Did you ever have that dream where you wake up, go to work, come home, do some stuff, then go to bed? Doesn’t that just give you the worst case of deja vu when the alarm actually goes off?

Unless this is that dream where I dream I go to work, then dream I woke up from that dream and went to work where I browsed the SDMB, and I’m actually going to be waking up any minute now…

Crap, now I need a nap.

Don’t blame your brain, your hands are also boring otherwise they wouldn’t have typed this boring thread. :slight_smile:

Oh, man. I mis-read the title and thought Satan was back and being pitted. Shoot.

No shit… there I was, fighting a two mile high purple dinosaur that had Andrea Dworkin’s head…


The dream I downloaded into your brain from my evil mind controll satillite was supposed to have a natty yellow towel and a blue and white stripped one. Also Pamela Anderson was supposed to be selling them to you and she would be wearing your mother’s favorite dress.

I have to go tweak these controlls again.

Hey, its better than the elevator one. You know, the one where you and your colleagues walk out of a meeting and get on the elevator…the doors close…and then there’s a sickening crunch above you…

[It sounds something like jamming your transmission from ‘D’ to ‘R’ at 40mph. Try it and and see. I’ll wait…]

Then the cable snaps and suddenly you, all the pinstripe suits, and powersuit pumps are screaming at the top of your lungs at the drop that keeps getting faster and faster…

[like an IRS audit]

I’d rather have a boring brain than a sadistic one. My brain always makes me turn down sex in my dreams. Fucking jerk that it is.

I’ve been absolutely convinced for some time that my subconscious hates me. My dreams are very boring and transparent (stressed about something in life = dream about being stressed about something). What’s worse is that I don’t have cool nightmares. Okay, so I like being-chased-by-zombie-style nightmares. I guess I’m weird.

And I never have sexy dreams. That’s just wrong.

YES!! This is exactly what I want! Brain?! Hello, Brain? Are you listening?

Giraffe: I think I was leaning towards the green, fluffy towel. It was definitely the more compelling of the two choices. Unfortunately, I woke up before I could choose. Drat. Those egg whisks were pretty fly, too.

sciguy: all the flipping time. Have you ever had one of those dreams where you dream you woke up 15 minutes before your alarm went off? And then you wake up and realize that it’s 15 minutes before your alarm goes off? I cried. :slight_smile:

Mom?! Nooooo!

This morning I dreamt about a couch. There were too many people sitting on it.


Arg. I was just dreaming about vector geometry. I really need to get drunk one of these days.

This well and truly raises the bar for surreality in pit threads. Well done slortar.


Just do what my wife does. If you can’t decide between two different things, buy them both. That way you have, for example, two more fucking pairs of shoes that you never wear.


My brain, judging by my dreams and hypnagogic imagery, is either very interesting and creative, or completely derranged.

It would be pitted for not providing my waking consciousness with any of this creativity Ever!

I never have pleasant dreams, but at least they’re never boring. :slight_smile:

One dream I particularly recall involved me standing out on a blasted desert plain while charred baby dolls in cellophane sacs that had dry twigs sticking out of their navels climbed on me. (Think Mad Max on heavy hallucinogens.) In my dream, they represented aborted fetuses. Why a male who has never fathered a child would have such a dream is beyond me.

Another dream involved my toilets having been converted to computers with the circuitry and displays in the tank. Which would have been fairly cool, but my house had also been transformed into an exhibit in a surreal and disturbing museum from the future and I felt horribly out of place.

Yet a third dream tossed me around at random between an underground alien base furnished in 1960s-style Modern and filled with evil alien robots and a decaying KMart that stocked rotting copies of Triumph of the Straight Dope but not, apparently, what I really needed: pants. (Aren’t you always pantsless in dreams? I know I am.) Of course, I had that dream right during the Christmas shopping season.

So, if you want dreams that leave you with anything from vague unease to outright screaming horror, ask the Sandman to ship in a few of my dreams. I’ll be glad to take yours.

One of my friends has weird dreams. Not so much what’s in them, as how freaked she can get by something odd, but fairly typical dream-wise.

But I think I won, when I dreamt a naked woman could be expressed as a binary expansion :confused:

Guess what I’d been thinking about before I went to bed (clue: I was at uni)