Brand New Day

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I can relate to this song right now, this is the most freeing and awesome time in my recent memory.

Nothing extraordinary, just a lot of weights lifted off my shoulders in the last few months/weeks. I have a semi-clean house (this is a good thing :wink: ) I am cooking again, I am in short a happy kinda chick this night.

The world around me isn’t perfect, I am not perfect (could stand to lose some weight, get rid of this 30 something year old acne I started to get – damn hormones, still don’t have health insurance, etc…) but oddly enough in the last several weeks I can feel me lightening and my world becoming more focused. I actually wake up not dreading what’s to come before me.

Has anyone else who’s gone through depression (without a physician or therapy) and gone through this transition? I see things differently. I find myself able to work through day-to-day stuff almost like my family or friends do.

I find I really don’t give a shit what my family thinks these days…I will do what I do because it works for me not because they expect me to do or not do something.

I find joy in actually vaccuming the house and smelling a pretty potpourri on my coffee table! I find joy in cooking and the smells that I haven’t had in my home for about 3 years…The garlic, the meat, the pasta the fresh veggies…

It’s such a wonderful feeling. I hope and pray that my fellow Dopers that have been in my shoes (which I can tell you aren’t completely off my feet yet but I’m almost there) will experience this freeing feeling!

WOW, there is more to life than the internet, more to life than dwelling on my problems, more to life than whether or not I feel I could lose a couple of dress sizes. I am freakin alive!!!

I saw some pictures of me from 1995 where I was looking hot and sexy and I realized that confident, sexy young woman is still there. She’s just gone through a transition, for sure. She may not be sexy again on a physical level but that doesn’t matter because it was my attitude that made all the difference in how I looked to the world. I could have been a super model but would have appeared ugly with the mental side that came out.

I am sober (most of the time now) I am happy, I am feeling good…I hope that inspires some of my fellow Dopers that see no end to it(depression)…it’s not an end but a realization, but I want you to know (many of you have seen me freak out) that it can happen. We are meant to be happy with a few road blocks on the way. We are meant to be humans with faults and fears, troubles and yes some tears. Life brings us situations, it’s how we handle it internally (screw the rest of the world) that makes the difference. It’s in our perception.

I hope and pray that this is an honest and long term thing with me…going back to the way I was would be horrible. But if I do, I know I spent 4-5 years in it and no matter how short lived it could be I could come out of it as I slowly have over some months now. It’s the will to live, not to die that pushes me.

< sorry so long >

2

Wow. I am all for a happy TechChick! You’re always someone worth listening to when you’re smiley happy :slight_smile:

Long may this continue! Congratulations on the improvement! It’ll be the transformation itself that feels the most freeing, I would think, so make the most of it while it lasts, and then keep it going!

And I don’t care what you think, you are so definitely sexy in ways over and above, but including the physical, trust me. :wink:

3

Yay.
I’m glad to hear you’re feeling good,
hope it stays that way.
I have had deppressions too,
but, sometimes I think,
if I didn’t have seen the dark side of life,
how could I then appriciate the good side that much,
if you know what I mean.
Not that going through such a long time depression
is nesesary for that.
I hope you get to enjoy day by day now.
{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}

4

I’m on that same path myself, although a bit behind you. Hanging in there, though.

In my experience, this has been key. It’s taken years to drag myself out of that morass, but I’m finally emerging. Their efforts to drag me back into it are getting less and less energetic, too. My indifference is sapping their enthusiasm for torment, I think. :wink:

I’d find joy in you vacuuming my apartment, and I wish it smelled like something else than it does (me). I want to eat at your house, too. :slight_smile:

Now, are you gonna make us beg for scans? Obviously, from your description, you haven’t changed a bit…but still, well, you know…scans are always good…

I’m happy fer ya, {{{Techchick}}}. Get out there and live like you mean it!!

5

I’ve been in similar shoes. You’re right, coming out of depression is a slightly odd, but very good feeling.

Keep wiggling your toes, and the shoes will come off.