For a breakfast of a ham sammich, DO NOT put jelly and brownies on it. Long story involving a beach house and foot-rape… (you probably consider that a joke, I consider it my friends beach house memories)
Put shorts on who, you or the dog?
Hey… given the context I think it’s a fair question.
(p.s. just funnin’ with ya!! 
)
One time, I put my strawberry Pop-tart in the toaster and went back to my bedroom to finish getting ready. I forgot about my Pop-tart until the smoke detector went off. I walked down to the kitched, expecting smoke to be coming out of the toaster from my burned pastry.
What I saw and did not expect was two foot flames shooting out of the toaster and licking up the front of the cabinets. :eek:
I had an ant problem which only was noticable when I had an open box of Honey Bunches of Oats. IF you’ve eaten HBoO, you may know that there are a lot of floaty bits that can be mistaken for ants, and vice versa. It took me a while to realize I had to put that cereal in a Tupperware container. In the meantime I threw out a couple of nearly full boxes. But on several occasions I ate ithe cereal anyway, picking out any ants I saw floating in the music; and if I ate a few without knowing it, well, where’s the harm?
I’ve also made most of the coffee mistakes listed, as well as dumping the coffee directly in the coffee maker with no filter. (Also, remembering the filter but forgetting the plastic holder, but that coffee was marginally drinkable.)
So your toaster doesn’t pop the finished foodstuffs out? The aforementioned foodstuffs just sits inside of the toaster burning until you come along to rescue it?
What an odd world you live in. 
What?
I did this with Chinese 5-spice. I don’t really care for oatmeal in the first place, but I was trying to be healthful. I was a certified grownup at the time, though, so no spelling excuses.
Just put some Banco de Gaia in the iPod and you’re good to go!
As long as you take care of the canned spaghetti with dishwasing detergent on it instead of pepper (the containers were side-by-side on the small counter).
I’ve done that exact thing with Ben-Gay at my folks’ house.
Get a bagel slicer. Trying to cut bagels with a knife is a leading cause of kitchen cuts. Nasty deep ones, too sometimes.
When I was a kid, I was nuts over sugar cubes. Loved them in hot chocolate.
Lesson one: Bouillon cubes are not the same.:eek:
Lesson two: One cube is good. Two are better. Three can be better yet. A dozen is … not so good.:eek:
Oh man, I’ll have whatever you’re having. 
“music” = “milk”, per an earlier posting
Or… he serenaded his breakfast and the ants were borne away in rapture at the symphony
I had a toaster that didn’t automatically pop-up. It had been a really good toaster originally, and ideally woulda been repaired/replaced, but at the time I just continued using it and watching my toast carefully.
Then one day frozen waffles were forgotten about. After the fire was out (first and last use of kitchen fire extinguisher) I disposed what was left of the toaster. I’ve used a toaster oven ever since.
Throw the eggs and cereal in a frying pan with a bit of oil and cook for a couple of minutes…not bad at all!!!
That was pretty much exactly the post I wanted to make, right down to the dissolving into hysterics over the music pouring thing.
However, one morning I got the two-fer, first made myself a lovely pot of hot water, then, after much grumbling and incoherent rambling, I added in the ground coffee and the filter, switched the thing on again. Without re-filling the water tank. I got my coffee at the gas station that day, it’s a wonder I didn’t kill anybody on my drive there.
Dung Beetle said:
I get amusement out of a Dung Beetle complaining about his food.
My worst experiment - peanut butter and mayonnaise. I wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, found out too late we were out of jelly, and figured “mayonnaise is moist, to offset the peanut butter”. Uh, no. I shudder now just thinking about it.
When my boyfriend and I moved in together, his mom gave us their old toaster oven and coffee maker. That was very nice of them, we thought, until I discovered that the innards of the coffee maker were a filthy mess that required quite a bit of disassembly to clean, and the automatic shut-off feature on the toaster oven doesn’t work. Fortunately, we have a small apartment with an open floor plan, so we notice a burnt smell if something’s left in the toaster oven, well before there’s any smoke. One of the first things I’m going to buy when I have the money is a new goddamn toaster oven.
Bagel slicers don’t slice bagels–they smoosh them. Just use a regular bread knife… but cut it on a cutting board instead of in your hand.
I’ve done that. Stir fry shouldn’t oughta froth like that.
I once watched a co-worker pour grape soda over a half a box of some type of sugared cereal – and proceed to eat it all with great enthusiasm.
I like OJ on granola. I’m sorry.
Technically this wasn’t breakfast, but it was a morning snack, so I’m going to go ahead and count it.
I tried to make Mexican-style spiced cocoa as a wake-up treat for my coffee-averse girlfriend on a cold winter morning a few years back. The recipe was basically just hot cocoa with the addition of a small measure of cayenne pepper.
I didn’t realize the cayenne pepper I had in my cabinet was extra-strength stuff that’s like 10x the heat of your normal store-bought cayenne.
She took one sip and then gave me a look like I’d just tried to push her out of a moving car. I’d essentially given her a mug of scalded hot sauce.