I don’t know who that was yesterday, but it wasn’t me.
–Walter White
“I fucked Ted.”
–Skyler White.
"I say, if you’re going to buy me off, buy me off."
–Walt, Jr.
Walter laying out their mission statement:
“We will produce a chemically pure and stable product that performs as advertised. No adulterants. No baby formula. No chili powder.”
And this testimonial from Tuco Salamanaca:
*“This kicks like a mule with its balls wrapped in duct tape!” *
We don’t need a criminal lawyer, we need a CRIMINAL lawyer.
I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? I am the one who knocks.
Shut the f** up and let me die in peace.*
- Mike Ehrmantraut
Yeah, bitch! Magnets!
Walt’s meth math from Season 2:
“Adjusting for inflation – good state college – adjusting for inflation, say $45,000 a year, two kids, four years of college…$360,000. Remaining mortgage on the home, $107,000. Home equity line, $30,000, that’s $137,000. Cost of living, food, clothing, utilities, say two grand a month? I mean, that should put a dent in it, anyway. 24K a year provides for, say, ten years. That’s $240,000, plus 360 plus 137…737. $737,000, that’s what I need. That is what I need. You and I both clear about 70 grand a week. That’s only ten and a half more weeks. Call it eleven. Eleven more drug deals and always in a public place from now on. It’s doable. Definitely doable.”
The school assembly to talk about the plane crash:
Barry: "I just find it, y’know, really, really hard to concentrate because of all the horrors, y’ know, we perceived. It just really gets inside your brain and, uh…in college they have this thing where if your roommate kills himself, like if you come home and find him hanging in the closet or whatever, it’s basically an automatic A for you. And I just think that kind of compassion is something to—"
Strangely enough, my favorite line from the series was from Fly—probably the least interesting episode. When Jesse is confronted by an almost hysterically irrational Walt who is going to Herculean efforts to kill a housefly that is buzzing around the lab, he looks at Walt with a slightly disdainful look on his face and says “you didn’t happen to maybe try our product, did you?”
“This is my own private domicile and I will not be harrassed… Bitch.”
The entire exchange between Old Joe and Hank leading up to that needs to be here:
Old Joe: Got a warrant?
Hank: Who are you, huh? Who are you and what do you know about this RV?
Old Joe: Well, I’m the owner of this lot, which means you’re trespassing on private property. As far as the RV goes, seems to me it’s locked, which means you’re trying to break and enter, so I say again, you got a warrant?
Hank: [chuckles] Well, I don’t need one if I’ve got probable cause, counselor.
Old Joe: Probable cause usually relates to vehicles, is my understanding, you know, traffic stops and whatnot.
Hank: See these round rubber things? Wheels. This is a vehicle.
Old Joe: This is a domicile, a residence, and thus protected by the Fourth Amendment from unlawful search and seizure.
*Hank: Look buddy, why don’t you just go out and-- *
Old Joe: Did you see this drive in here? How do you know it runs? Did you actually witness any wrongdoing? It seems to me you’re just out here… fishing. Don’t see that holding up in a court of law.
*Hank: Oh, yeah? Well, look at these. What do those look like to you? They sure look like bullet holes to me. There was a firearm discharged inside of this “domicile.” Willing to bet there’s a judge or two out there who’d see that as probable cause, but I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you call the Albuquerque police-- *
[Walt whispering to Jesse] How could you have known that they were there before you took off the tape?
Jesse: [whispering] What?
Walt: [whispering] How could you have known that they were there before you took off the tape? Say it. Say it.
Jesse: How could you have known that they were there before you took off the tape?
Old Joe: That’s right. Probable cause needs to be readily apparent. Huh. There’s somebody in there.
Walt: [whispering to Jesse] …private domicile and I won’t be harassed.
*Hank: Yeah, I’ll tell you what, Pinkman. Probable cause or no, I’ll give you three seconds to get your ass out here. 1, 2-- *
Jesse: This is my own private domicile, and I will not be harassed. Bitch!.
Jesse: I am not turning down the money! I am turning down you! You get it? I want NOTHING to do with you! Ever since I met you, everything I ever cared about is gone! Ruined, turned to shit, dead, ever since I hooked up with the great Heisenberg! I have never been more alone! I HAVE NOTHING! NO ONE! ALRIGHT, IT’S ALL GONE, GET IT?
“The thing is, if you just do stuff, and nothing happens, what does it all mean? What’s the point?”
–Jesse Pinkman.
“What’s the matter with you?!? We’re family!”
“Say my name.”
Everyone loves “I am the danger …”, “I won”, etc. These are all wonderful lines, brilliantly delivered, and are deservedly praised. But there’s one line from early in the show that I absolutely love, and is, in my opinion, very under-appreciated.
“This is my office!” - indignant jewelry store manager upon having his office compared to a dank storeroom.
There’s just something in his tone of voice. He’s actually truly insulted by the comparison. For a moment he forgets that this woman in front of him possibly stole merchandise. He’s just upset that someone thinks his office sucks. His delivery of that line cracks me up every time I hear it.
“Elliot, if we’re going to go that way, you’re going to need a bigger knife.”
I love it when bedridden Hank summons Gomie closer and whispers: “asshole”, then Jr.: “man, he got you good!”
“You killed somebody with beans, yo!” - Jesse
Walt finally tells the truth. After telling himself (and everyone else) for a couple of years that everything he had done was for money, last night he has a moment of clarity:
- “I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And I was really… I was alive,”*
Jesse: Got some big cow house way out that way, like two miles, but I don’t see nobody.
Walt: Cow House?
Jesse: Yeah, where they live… the cows!
Mike: Well…you know how they say? “It’s been a pleasure?” It hasn’t.
“Fuck you…and your eyebrows”
“Mexico…that’s all I’m sayin’”
“Twelve guys in two minutes…that’s all I’m sayin’”