Tip: Never approach a breastfeeding baby and inquire, "Ya gonna finish that?’
Or, “I see you brought enough to share. May I join you?”
Enjoy,
Steven
I’ve got no problem, but discretion would make common-sense.
Otherwise, don’t mind me for repititive sneak-peeks (because staring would be impolite).
Remember, it’s still a boob – sticking a baby on the end of it doesn’t suddenly make it a dairy.
Or, “Does that come in chocolate?”
You really shouldn’t click this."Only when I’m finished with it."Enjoy,
Steven
IMNSHO, if it’s what’s healthiest for body and mind, it’s what should be done, and anyone who gets squicked needs to get their priorities straightened – it’s their problem, not they baby’s or the mother’s. My wife breastfed all of our children (still does with our youngest) and sometimes in public, according to our ability to get out of public and the needs of the child. Being discreet while doing so is polite – not being discreet is like cussing; some will be offended by it and others won’t.
Now, it COULD be argued that at times it’s NOT the healthiest for body or mind. When the child is 4 and demanding loudly and moving clothing of their own accord, giving in is just spoiling them. A child of that age should be able to have some restraint, up to and including the ability to wait for an hour or so to find a more discreet location. My 2 year old is struggling with this, but getting the idea.
I’m personally appalled when any woman stops breastfeeding her child after less than a year (why would you DOWNGRADE your child’s nutrition?!?). That this is often caused by social awkwardness is a crime – one of selfishness on the part of the women who care more about their image than their child, and one of intolerance on the part of squicked people giving them the evil eye. The saddest part is that the sufferer is a child.
I have a problem with anyone of this mindset, which is my particular beef with the gay rights movement, for example.
I can see people objecting to the cases mentioned above where everything was hanging out. It would probably bother me just on a TMI basis, but it wouldn’t offend me. If someone is taking reasonable precaution to keep things discreet, I feel an obligation to treat them politely in return – I will absolutely not stare, but nor will I ignore them and make them think they are a pariah. If they take no such precaution, I wouldn’t feel a need to stop myself from staring.
Most of the women I know who breastfed less than a year did it for very good reason. Since you asked why -
as said above, my own daughter rejected the breast at about 6 months.
Many women have to work and pump. For some women, pumping is a loosing battle and it gets harder and harder to pump enough as the baby grows. Its also, frankly, a PITA to pump at work - even under the best circumstances with helpful employers and mother’s rooms.
My sister gave up breastfeeding when she got diagnosed with breast cancer. Turns out you can’t breastfeed when you don’t have breasts 
My cousin stops during allergy season - she has horrible allergies that take strong medication. She puts up with it during pregnancy, but she can’t breastfeed on the medication, so she breastfeeds as long as she is willing to tolerate the allergies.
A friend stopped because neither of her kids thrived on breastmilk - she has some strange condition where the fat content in her breastmilk is insufficient or something…once she supplemented with formula, she couldn’t keep up production.
Alternatively, some people just reach a point where they’d like their body to be their own again. You’re welcome to think that’s appallingly selfish, and I’m welcome to think that it’s easy to be judgmental about things you don’t really understand.
[soapbox warning]I find this attitude appalling. Is breastfeeding ideal? Without question, yes. But you’re not taking into account several factors:
-Breastfeeding is not well supported in our culture. Most women try very hard, but because there is often limited access to sane, understanding proponents of breastfeeding who can provide meaningful advice as opposed to judgment, many women find breastfeeding so difficult they discontinue it.
-Most workplaces do not support breastfeeding adequately and most women, mothers or not, have to work, often in very family-unfriendly conditions. I am very, very fortunate - my work gave me a lactation room for my personal use. I’m salaried, so I can use it whenever I want. Do you have any idea how rare that is? Many hourly employees, even though they often have the most difficult jobs, can’t even go to the bathroom without permission. They get two 15 minute breaks per day and a half hour for lunch. Do you really think they’d have time to go to the bathroom, pump and do whatever else they need to do during that time?
-Many women (myself included) experience post-partum complications so severe they permanently affect their ability to breastfeed later. I had eclampsia when I had my son. I had uncontrolled high blood pressure for two weeks after, which caused an excruciating two-week migraine. It was so bad, I couldn’t sit without support, I couldn’t eat or drink most of the time and I came very close to having a stroke. I tried so very hard to breastfeed. But it hurt so very much I dreaded it. While I was recovering from eclampsia, it was just one more horribly painful experience on top of the nightmare that was my life. Having the LLL leader tell me it was my fault it wasn’t working out wasn’t helpful at all. I still managed to nurse somehow, but it was like squeezing water from a rock because I was so dehydrated. I just couldn’t produce enough. When my son lost so much weight that he peed crystals for a week, we had to supplement. I continued to nurse until my son was 7 mos, but he got an ear infection and self-weaned.
And there are a myriad other conditions that also contribute to nursing difficulties. As you mentioned, society, image, preference, etc. There is absolutely no way to know by appearance alone why a woman chose not to breastfeed. And, the absolute last thing women need, in my opinion, is someone looking down at them from on high telling them they’re a bad parent for not nursing. Whatever a woman’s reasons for choosing not to breastfeed, they’re none of anyone else’s business. As long as they’re doing their best and their baby is well nourished and healthy, why is it anyone else’s concern how the baby got that way?[/soapbox]
I just want everyone to know that the vast majority of medications are much less risky than withholding breast milk from the infant. But the PDR, drug labels, and many doctors and pharmacists will just say, “don’t breastfeed.”*
You can look some things up on Thomas Hale’s forum or on (the more conservative) LactMed. Many LLL Leaders have copies of Hale’s book, and (if you sacrifice a puppy to them, of course) they would be happy to read the relevant passage to you on the phone.
*My surgeon told me I would have to stop breastfeeding my 8mo while taking hydrocodone after my appendectomy, because “you can’t breastfeed when you’re taking any narcotic.” He had no fucking clue what he was talking about - good surgeon, but ignorant regarding breastfeeding and medications.
Did you bring enough for everybody, young woman?
My cousin is a nurse practitioner married to an M.D. I appreciate your medical advice, but they are qualified to make their own medical decisions over the right thing to do for their children.
Not only did I have enough for everyone, you would only have to stand within about 2 feet of me to get fed!
I’m not arguing with you in the slightest, but I am glad to see people provide general info to the effect that there are a lot of medications that say “don’t breastfeed while taking” that are actually fine to take while breastfeeding if you just have your doctor check in the appropriate reference documentation. I mean, I’ve heard anecdotally of women who were told to stop breastfeeding because they were taking cold medication, for Og’s sake. That’s just not cool.
Well, I wasn’t saying what your cousin should do, particularly, but alerting anyone reading the thread that you may hear, “just don’t nurse,” but the real story is a lot more complex.
Also, for the record, I have heard some of the shittiest breastfeeding advice from doctors and nurses. But I’m sure your cousin and her husband are the exception, and I wouldn’t try to diagnose or give medical advice to an individual, over the internet, via an intermediary.
That could actually be its own thread, “Bullshit breastfeeding advice you have heard from medical professionals.” An R.N. at the hospital my sister delivered at told her that she probably wouldn’t be able to successfully breastfeed because she is white, and therefore more modest - unlike Mexican women, who breastfeed with no problem because they are less modest and more willing to just whip out their tits at a moment’s notice to feed their babies. (The nurse was white, if that matters.)
I just wanted to apologize for my generalization… I did not intend to say that there are no instances where one should not breastfeed, but rather that one should breastfeed unless there are strong reasons not to. I spoke too strongly.
If a person stops because of social pressure, that is a problem.
There are some things that should be done in private, like nail-clipping and masturbation. In my social circle, breastfeeding is definitely one of those things. In fact, the women I ‘hang out’ with would never even consider doing it in front of others, any more than they would consider getting hammered and yelling “wooooooo” at the top of their lungs. It would be considered extremely declasse and, like I said before, gauche.
Your social circle may be, and probably is, different. This is mine. I’m just giving you the social norms of my peers and my family.
No problem if minimum modesty is applied.
Can you explain why? What do they do when they are out and the baby is hungry? Also, I’m curious - what is your social circle in terms of demographics?
For the record, my mothers group of 12 is 100% breastfeeding (we’ve all got 7-8 month olds), and demographically would be top 10%+ income bracket earners (everyone planning to return to work in fields like banking, top 4 accounting firm, scientific research or teaching), and we’re all Caucasian from Australia or European and South African backgrounds.