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My claim to fame is that I was opening a checking account in the Hibernia Bank in San Francisco on the morning of the day taxes were due in the year in which the President resigned. What did I see? – You saw Patty Hearst break into the bank with her captors, the SLA.
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What’s the maximum number of knights may be placed on a chessboard such that no two of them threaten each other? – ** 8^2/2, or 32**
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Who was the demon barber of Fleet Street? – Sweeney Todd
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The USS Nimitz travels through time to just before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. What should we call the movie? – The Final Countdown
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How many spaces are on a Stratego board? – 100, and two lakes
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Gable and Lombard sold eggs? – Indeed they did. Trying to make their farm self-sufficient, Lombard attempted to sell her chicken’s eggs as “King’s Eggs,” featuring a picture of eggs wearing little crowns. Unfortunately, the scheme failed.
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Sure, Atari was a great video game company, but what does that have to do with black and white stones? – Atari is also a term for the board game “Go,” which means the state of having only one liberty left
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You can be better than you are; certainly you don’t want to be a fish, given that a fish can’t write his name or read, and, although slippery, still gets caught. – Crosby really swings, doesn’t he? What a star.
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My buddy is an officer in his Masonic Lodge. He’s a junior or senior… something, but I don’t remember exactly what. Jog my memory? – Actually, this is going to depend on what Masonic Lodge your buddy’s in. In 41 Grand Lodges, he’s a Junior/Senior Grand Warden/Deacon/Steward. In 8 Grand Lodges, he’s either a Grand Senior/Junior Warden/Deacon/Steward. In Missouri, Wardens are Senior/Junior Grand, and Deacons/Stewards are Grand Senior/Junior.
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Name the opera that tells of the young woman headed for a French convent who decides instead to abscond with a poor student, and then abandons him for a wealthy, if somewhat elderly (and aptly named) benefactor. Bad choice, as she wavers when the young suitor reappears and earns the wrath of her older lover, who ends up banishing her to a prison in Lousiana. – ** Massenet’s “Manon”**
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What are the odds of rolling a seven on the craps table exactly three times in a row? – 1 in 216
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Just after I emerged from my skinny-dipping in the ocean, my friend remarked that I was “doing a botta shelley.” What is he talking about? – Botticelli – Birth of Venus
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My friend Russell and I decided to join the Army after realizing that we were in the middle of dead-end lives. My girlfriend had left me after I let her dry-cleaning get run over, and I was fired from my cab-driving job. The Army was good for me, even though I had to help my platoon complete its training after our DI got blown up by an errant mortar. Our first assignment in Italy led to use borrowing an Army vehicle and having to rescue our platoon in Czechoslovakia, and I ended up on the cover of Newsweek. Who am I? – You’re John Winger, played by Bill Murray in “Stripes”.
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There’s a new girl in town, with a fresh, freckled face. What sort of famous chili would she likely be serving at the diner? – Mel’s Famous Chili
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“Judge not, lest ye be judged.” But I’m having trouble keeping them all straight – Judge Reinhold, Judge Judy, Judge Roy Bean, Judge Roy Moore, Judge Dredd. What’s with all those judges? – Reinhold (Actor, Fast Times at Ridgemont High), Judy (Annoying TV Judge), Bean (Law West of the Pecos), Moore (Alabama 10 Commandments), Dredd (Comic book law enforcer)
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Let’s see… I’ve docked the grey, green, and red balls. I’ve navigated my way through the sewer. I’ve herded the neurons from one synapse to the other, and I’ve shuffled the music movements into correct order. When do you suppose I’ll get my brain out of Rathbone? – The Lost Mind of Dr. Brain
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What “Man of La Mancha” character is chosen from amongst the prisoners to portray the doctor and niece’s fiancé? – Duque
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What word best describes how this Bricker Challenge is numbered? – Base Eight, Octal
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Which heresy, condemned by Ignatius of Antioch, held that Christ was pure spirit and was possessed of only a phantom body? – Docetism
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They are all smart, but without Henry, the waiter, it’s unlikely that any of the mysteries they consider would actually be solved. – Black Widowers
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What’s the area of the circle that’s circumscribed around a square with sides of length 3(pi)? – pi(3pi(sqrt(2))/2)^2. In other words, roughly 139.5 sq units
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What’s Mrs. Howell’s maiden name – the one she reverted to after the radio announced that she and Thurston were never actually married? – According to Unca Cece, it’s Wentworth.
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SEND + MORE = MONEY. Each letter is a unique digit. What’s the real equation? – 9567 + 1085 = 10652
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What characteristic is shared by Julie Gianni, Natalie Cook, Mary Jensen Matthews, and Laura Garrity? – Roles played by Cameron Diaz.
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What are all these “DLL” files on my computer for? – These are Dynamic Link Libraries, a collection of small programs, any of which can be called when needed by a larger program that is running in the computer. The small program that lets the larger program communicate with a specific device such as a printer or scanner is often packaged as a DLL program (usually referred to as a DLL file). DLL files that support specific device operation are known as device drivers.
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A man graduates from the Naval Academy, is commissioned, and promoted three grades. What’s his rank? – He’s a Lieutenant Commander, grade O4
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What sorts of things are prohibited by the rule of “shatnes” in traditional Jewish tradition? – Mixing, such as wool and linen, different species of cattle, or planting seeds. Everything must be kept separate.
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Discuss the best possible hands in hi-lo poker. – ** Ace, two, three, four, six for the low hand, and ace high royal straight for the high hand**
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It’s a good thing Chuck got a call from his cousin Marvin, letting him hear the “new sound” that Marty was playing on stage. – Else “Johnny B. Goode” would never be a hit.
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4872 is the sum of what two primes? – 4831 + 41
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Richard Feynman’s first wife? – Arlene
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Neptune is to Poseidon as Cupid is to [?] – Eros
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Speaking of Greeks, what’s the letter that’s used to refer to the coefficient of friction? – Funny, I never knew cows spoke Greek before.
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What does a prostitute mean when she advertises that she speaks Greek, Russian, and French? – Means she’s into anal sex (Greek), hem…”pectoral” sex (Russian), and oral sex (French).
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As everyone knows, the Moops invaded Spain. – Moors, ya blitherin’ moop.
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What are the four noble truths? – Life means suffering, the origin of suffering is attachment, the cessation of suffering is attainable, the path to the cessation of suffering.
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What’s the relationship of the answer to question 41 to cloning and the world of Pokemon? – ** Mu is a gene involved in cloning, and Mew Two is a Pokemon who was cloned**
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In one Simpsons episode, the Comic Book Guy describes a rare Mary Worth in which she advises a friend to commit suicide. I don’t get the joke. – Mary’s known for her level-headed advice to troubled friends, not the opposite. For her to advise that would involve Satan going to work on ice skates.
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What Anya and Xander song is more of a retro pastiche than a break-away pop hit? – I’ll Never Tell
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What author claims to know why the caged bird sings? – Maya Angelou
