-
The ‘Ghost in the Garrett’ lived in his lover’s attic for years before killing her husband, didn’t he?
It was a nice place for him to starve himself, at least.
-
Where did Hoss, Adam, and Little Joe hang out?
The Ponderosa.
-
On what date was the actor that played the two thousand year old man twenty thousand days old?
March 31, 1981.
-
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you take a cloud and pin it down? You could always just tell her, “Get thee from a nunnery!”
-
The MTA rides Charlie around Boston, but the MTU refers to how big Ethernet transmission packets can be.
That’d be a maximum transmission unit, bob.
-
Someone told me that people speak Spanish and Portuguese in the Siberian Peninsula! I thought it would be Russian!
Tsk, tsk, that person had a bit of a lisp when he said Iberian peninsula.
-
If one and a half chickens can lay one and a half eggs in one and a half days, how many eggs could twelve chickens lay in six days?
Forty-eight.
-
I grok that sharing water is good.
But you’re still a stranger in a strange land.
-
Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.
Yeah, maybe your parents love you, Robert Frost.
-
I defied authority to give my brother a proper burial, even though my sister refused to help and my uncle mandated the death penalty for my actions. Although I died, at least it wasn’t from my uncle’s plan of burying me alive; I hung myself. Who am I?
Antigone.
-
Did Billy really get the Libyans any influence?
If only Jeb Bush could embarrass his brother as much as Billy Carter did. Damn Jewish media.
-
What bird did Lacey Davenport’s husband finally get to see before his heart attack?
Bachman’s Warbler.
-
In the first phase, one player chooses Physical, Mental, Chance, or Art; the other selects Naked, Tool, Machine, or Animal.
That’s the most common pastime on Photon. Ah, The Game.
-
Consider a cube three feet on each side. How many straight cuts are necessary to apply to it in order to create nine one-foot cubes?
Six. One for each of the faces in the central cube.
-
Who pitched the next perfect game after the only perfect game in a World Series?
Don Cardwell 5/15/1960 Chicago 4 vs. St. Louis 0.
-
Smash a Lifesaver with a hammer and get a flash of light. What’s that called if you’re a scientist?
Triboluminescense.
-
What color cape is worn in full regalia by a Master of the Fourth Degree of the Knights of Columbus?
Gold.
-
Yum! Mom says she’s making sweetbreads tonight. I like bread.
But do you like thyroid glands?
-
Finish the SAT analogy question: Dan White is to Harvey Milk as …
Jack Ruby is to Lee Harvey Oswald.
-
What is the next closest Holy Day of Obligation for Roman Catholics?
Well, depending on when this challenge is over… Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary, Friday Aug 15.
-
My mid-term at cooking school wants me to discuss the differences between sherbert, sorbet, ice cream, and iced milk. Help me cheat!
Sherbert has a small amount of milk solids along with sugar/flavorings/etc. Sorbet is similar, but without milk solids. Ice cream is a pasteurized mix frozen by agitation, and ice milk is ‘light’ or ‘reduced fat’ ice cream.
-
“Friendly angel, come to me” - heard during a Star Trek episode?
And the children shall come to me.
-
I only know that I exist; there’s no proof that anyone or anything else is out there. What’s this school of thought?
Solipsism.
-
Mrs. Malaprop was a fictional character, for all intensive purposes.
She should of illicited some laughter, though.
-
Maggie claims Brick got her pregnant, even though he didn’t - or, more accurately, hadn’t yet.
Now that’s a cat on a hot tin roof.
…okay, that made no sense.
-
He ended up finding Rachel Wallace kept captive, naked, at the English estate.
Spenser.
-
Veronica Lake was in The Blue Dahlia, but who was the Black Dahlia?
Elizabeth Short.
-
Nobody’s perfect - but what about integers that are the sum of their positive proper divisors?
That’d be a perfect number.
-
You could enter their secret hideaway in the junkyard through Red Gate Rover or Green Gate One.
The three investigators.
-
My father was the Eddystone Lighthouse keeper - and he had an unusual marriage.
With a porpoise and a porgy as my siblings, growing up was pretty rough.
-
Guilder And Florin Narrowly Avert War - possible headline?
And he would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for that darn meddling Wesley.
-
Should I trust a film review by noted critics Blaine Edwards and Antoine Merriweather?
What’s wrong with Men On The Flintstones? It’s a gay old time.
-
Who directed the musical about a town in Missouri that contains the show-stopper, ‘A Penny for Your Thoughts?’
Corky St Claire.
-
Sure, the Harlem Globetrotter always won - but who did they always beat?
The Washington Generals, and Krusty should never have bet on them. They weren’t due.
-
Tony and Tia are twins with telepathic and telekinetic power.
Okay, they escaped to Witch Mountain. But where’s the ten sequels?
-
I know men are horn dogs, but what’s a horn high bet in craps?
A bet that has an extra amount on one of the four numbers 2, 3, 11, 12. $5 horn high twelve means a dollar upon three of the numbers and $2 on 12.
-
So I set up a stand with the top ends about one meter apart and one meter tall. To each I connect a thin wire about 750 cm long. I join the two wires at the bottom, and add an additional 150 cm wire length straight down - so the wire forms a ‘Y’ shape. I add a small weight to the bottom of the wire and set it swinging. Describe the shape it will trace in the air. (Extra points for using the ‘L’ word!)
Lissajou. (Thanks, Finagle!)
-
Should I have planned a trip from Tacoma to Gig Harbor on November 7th, 1940?
Only if you like driving off of the Tacoma Narrows.
-
What gold medal high-jump winner did Hitler probably refuse to congratulate, choosing instead to leave the stadium? (Being mindful here of urban legends and truth!)
Cornelius Johnson.
-
What was the mouse that roared?
Grand Fenwick, which decided to declare war on the US, lose, and then get cash for reconstruction.
-
I first saw her as a chorus girl in ‘Floradora,’ and was enthralled. I might have gone a bit far when I drugged her champagne and took her virginity, since she was only sixteen and I was a married middle-aged man. But, hey, I was rich. And I didn’t mind that she ended up marrying another guy, but I did sort of object when he ended up killing me and got off on an insanity plea.
Your own damn fault, Stanford White.
-
In the spirit of question 24, my boss is a real meanie - a regular Simon Filigree.
Or Simon Legree. Whichever.
-
Suicide is painless?
And I can take or leave it if I please.
-
According to J. K. Rowling, what’s an example of an unforgiveable curse?
The Imperius Curse is one.
-
Consider a square formed by the lines y=1, y=2, x=2, and x=2. Rotate that square about the y-axis and find the volume of the resulting solid.
Assuming you meant x=1 for one of those, the volume is 3pi.
-
What musical theater character embarrasses her companions at the Ascot races by announcing that gin was mother’s milk to one of her relatives?
Eliza Doolittle.
-
Good thing Crazy Tom got kicked off the ticket, eh?
Oh, be nice to Tom DeLay. He’s not just some crazy guy.
-
Tara Hartwick, Lon Oliver, Carrie Seaver - where did they live?
The Spot.
-
Constantine, Mithraism, Christianity. Discuss.
In hoc signo vinces, beyotch.
-
Skyrockets in flight, Starland vocals, what do you end up with?
An afternoon delight. **
[/QUOTE]