1. Do you suppose Rose of Sharon was a member of the La Leche League?
In the Grapes of Wrath, she breastfed a sick man.
2. I can never remember Pascal’s triangle - isn’t that something about betting how you’re better off believing in God?
Pascal’s Triangle is used as a simple way to calculate coefficients for a binomial distribution. The top row is ‘1’, the second row is ‘1 1’, the third row is ‘1 2 1’, and so on down the line, with each number being the sum of the two above it.
3. I need trepaning like I need a ho…. well, you get the idea.
Everyone needs a hole in the head. Especially poked directly through the skull.
4. I’m against blame-the-victim mentality as much as the next guy, but let’s face it: Mayella was not at all reluctant.
Poor Tom Robinson. Dead mockingbirds aren’t much fun.
5. This question refers to Image A, found here. Who is this man?
Good ol’ Joe Stalin.
6. Sure, Phoebe, Piper, and Paige have their moments - but did they ever talk to the spirit of the prophet Samuel?
They were Charmed, I’m sure.
7. “If winter comes, can Spring be far behind? And if Spring is here, then C.J. and Toby will work together to help the Bartlett administration!” If the Shelley poem ended that way, what might the title be?
Ode to the West Wing.
8. Any change we make SEEMS to have a positive effect, because the workers work harder when they’re being studied. Whose effect is this?
It’s not a who, it’s a where. The Hawthorne plant of Western Electric.
9. I averted a Sirian attack on the Earth by pretending to be a traitor to the Council of Science. Everything worked out well, perhaps because I was fortunate, as befits my name.
Bless my stars. My Lucky Starr, that is.
10. What Atari arcade castle-building game shares a name with an LA police scandal?
Rampart.
11. What note do you need to add to C, E, and Bb (the only flat in the key signature) to achieve a dominant 7th chord?
Hrm…Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge…Good…er, G.
12. What promotions was Fry surprised to see earned by Captain Crunch and Count Chocula?
Archduke Chocula. Admiral Crunch.
13. Not to be politically incorrect, but name the fairy that gains a seat in Parliament, at least according to Gilbert & Sullivan.
Strephon. It’s good to know the Queen. From Iolanthe.
14. Name the Three Furies. Note: one of them is NOT a 1958 Plymouth bought from Roland LeBay. Explain the note.
The three are Magaera, Tisiphone, and Alectra. AKA the Erinyes. Not, however, Christine, who was just a product of Stephen King’s imagination. As far as you know.
15. This question refers to Image B, found here. Name the artist.
Vermeer, apparently.
16. I’m wealthy, disenchanted, too selfish to admit (at least at first) that I’m in love with Tatyana, and too dense to refuse the duel with her husband Lensky
Ah, poor Eugene Onegin…
17. Shylock is to The Merchant of Venice as Aufidius is to … ?
Coriolanus.
18. Give an example of an odd composite number k that evenly divides the denominator of the (k - 1)th Bernoulli number.
I’m working on it.
19. A Knight of Columbus is wearing a green cape and chapeau, and carrying a white-handled sword. What can you tell me about him?
He’s a District Marshall. He’s Fourth Degree.
20. Walk, trot, gallop. What’s missing?
Canter.
21. Actually, we’re not a 501©(3) - we’re a 501©(7). As you can imagine, we’re quite socialable.
You’re not a publicly funded non-profit corporation, you’re a social club.
22. In the Gygax AD&D world, paladins and rangers were both examples of what general class of characters? And what restrictions applied to them? Discuss.
Both were Fighters. Paladins had to be Lawful Good, and have a Charisma of 17 or greater, Wisdom 13, Strength 12. Rangers have to be good, Wis and Con of at least 14, Str and Int of 13 or more.
23. I was a petty criminal and con man until I came to the attention of William and Randolph, after being falsely accused of trying to steal the company payroll. They not only bail me out, but give me a high-paying job at their company, much to the chagrin of the previous job holder. He and I ultimately reconcile our differences over a common interest in orange juice. Who am I?
Billy Ray Valentine. Ah, poor Louis…The moral of the story? Bets for one dollar are evil. Always bet everything.
24. This question refers to Image C, found here. What is the title of this piece?
Nighthawks. By Hopper.
25. I heard that back in the early 20th century, the Chicago Cubs played a game against some bush-league Midwestern team that lasted for days and thousands of innings before the tie was broken. Is this true?
Depends on if you believe WP Kinsella or not. But, mess with the Iowa Baseball Confederacy at your own peril.
26. What name was given to the 1862 Union Army effort to capture the confederate capital, dashed by President Lincoln’s reluctance to use McDowell’s forces in Northern Virginia?
It’s the Peninsular Campaign.
27. I like to talk with my classmates during music class, but I won’t get in trouble - my music teacher keeps glaring at me but he seems to think my name is Sato Vochie.
Lower your voice, dumbass.
28. The debate over whether Aristotle was in favor of or against laughter may seen dry and academic, but for one blind monk, it was apparently a matter of life and death, and definitely NOT dry.
Ah, The Name of the Rose. Umberto Eco sure does spin a good medieval yarn.
29. We all know the story of “DEWEY BEATS TRUMAN,” but how about how Dewey beat the Spanish at Manila, huh?
Way to beat up on an outmoded Spanish navy, there, George.
30. Considering all the West Virginia jokes, it’s amazing that Turin Turambar didn’t hail from there.
Hey, a sly inbreeding crack. Funny. There sure are a lot of depressing stories in the Silmarillion, aren’t there?
31. I was born in Dubuque, Iowa, and my life was chronicled by Bob Woodward in “Frazzled.” I was accused of using a relationship with former UN Ambassador Jeanne Kirkpatrick to sell secrets to Russia, and I briefly served as a televangelist and presidential candidate. I also sang lead for “Deathtongue,” and gossip columns linked me to Socks, the Clinton White House cat. An alum of the Betty Ford clinic, I’m best known for sputtering inarticulate noises and being perpetually unkempt. Who am I?
You are Bill the Cat, from Bloom County
32. What’s the final score of a Quidditch match in which both teams play perfect defense?
150-0.
33. This question refers to Image D, found here. What title is given to the chief executive of the local organization whose symbol appears here?
The head of a Lodge is the Worshipful Master.
34. The only sane inhabitant on Pianosa?
Well, if you can call Yossarian sane, I guess…it’s sort of a Catch-22, though.
35. That guy in Ernest Hemingway’s For Whom The Bell Tolls wrote that book about a Wheel of Time, right?
Maybe. Did THAT Robert Jordan have an obsession with women pulling hair?
36. What musical couple’s relationship is threatened by a Swedish nightingale but strengthened because they like each others’ style?
I got nothing.
37. In “Our Town,” who does Emily marry?
Emily marries George Gibbs.
38. What’s Kerak’s Major Odal’s secret for actual, as opposed to merely virtual, killing?
How does one trump the Dueling Machine? Telepathy helps.
39. The medieval church ritual involving a bell, a book, and a candle was… ?
Exorcism. Or, getting someone to vomit pea soup. One of those.
40. In comedian Eddie Izzard’s version, to whom is Dr. Heimlich is married?
Ah, Gunter. He was married to Hilde.
41. This question refers to Image E, found here. Who is the artist?
That guy who paints trees on islands.
42. Name John Galt’s associate, who used his dashing playboy image to destroy the world copper market.
Francisco d’Anconia
43. Who starred in, and directed, the original film version of “Man Getting Hit By Football,” a role later reprised by George C. Scott?
Hans Moleman. Ow.
44. Explain the mathematics theorem that has the modern Major General teeming with a lotta news
He is the very model of a modern Major General. He knows stuff. He’s teeming with a lot of news about the binomial theorem. He also knows cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
45. From which blind supplicant do Estragon and Vladimir earn two hundred francs?
Pozzo. Gogot really should be here by now, shouldn’t he?
46. This question refers to Image F, found here. What’s the Broadway musical?
Saturday in the Park with George.
47. Before and After answer: name the singer who re-wrote “Candle In The Wind” in honor of his million-dollar winnings on Regis Philbin’s game show.
Elton John Carpenter
48. Seven years after we parted company, I was called upon to introduce my former partner to the world of the occult – despite his skepticism, I was neither an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, or a fragment of an underdone potato.
Being Scrooge’s partner was a real pain in the ass, eh, Marley?
49. What was the capital of East Jersey?
Perth Amboy
50. What was the name of the hunter that stalked Gilligan, in homage to “The Most Dangerous Game?”
Jonathan Kincaid