Ha, ha, please feel free do do so, thanks!
“Hey Crabman!”
“Hey honky!”
House:
“I dunno.”
CSI:
“Huh. He IS innocent.”
Any religious show:
“Can we be saved?”
“No. Next!”
House:
“I dunno.”
CSI:
“Huh. He IS innocent.”
*Any religious show:
“Can we be saved?”
“No. Next!”
Hawkeye: What the hell are we doing still here? the war was over seven years ago.
“I Dream of Jeannie”
Tony: Jeannie, you keep calling me ‘master.’ Does that mean what I think it means?
Jeannie: Oh, it most certainly does, master. I have to do anything you say. Anything, no matter how suggestive or salacious.
Tony: Alright then, teleport me some strippers and a keg of beer over here!
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA:
President Roslin: Vice-President Beltar, I want your resignation. We can’t risk the presidency passing to you. You’re a brilliant scientist, but you have too many hallucinations and zoneouts. By the way, did you notice your pants are down again?
“Perhaps we would have more power if Engineer Scott connected your mouth to a generator, Doctor.”
Buffy: hey - why have all of these bad guys surrounded me and are now pointing machine guns at…rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat
Jack Bauer: No, I won’t talk
Bad Guy holding Jack prisoner: Okay kills Jack
Grissom: get a DNA sample off that thing and run it through testing ASAP!
Flunky: Okay, the results should be ready in 3 weeks…
WordMan
(still fantasizing about Abby Carmichael in a teddy…)
Iron Chef guest judge, just having taken a spoonful of something:
My god, it’s still moving! Gack! Barf! Hack!
Okay, not a favorite t.v. show, but:
Skipper: Little buddy, this is the 55th time you’ve screwed up our efforts to get off this island.
Gilligan: I know, I know. I’m so stupid.
Mr. Howell: We’ve held a secret meeting and came to an executive decision that you need to be terminated.
Gilligan: Terminated?
Professor: If you’d just put on this coconut hat that I’ve crafted…
Gilligan: Cool! Why are all these wires attached to that high voltage battery?
Ginger: Don’t worry about it, Gilligan.
MaryAnn: (sniff) The hat looks really nice on you. (rushes out of the room)
Mrs. Howell: Let her rip!!!
The professor switches on the battery and the lights dim.
Scotty: Ah kinna change the laws o’ physics, Captain!
Kirk: Don’t give me that crap. Every black-box technology on this show violates the laws of physics, including the impulse drive, the deflector shields, and the artificial gravity. Get creative!
Shaggy : “Y’know, Scoob, in over thirteen hundred cases so far, there’s always been an amusement park owner, or smuggler, or other normal guy under a costume when we think it’s a monster. Bite his ass!”
**
Scooby** : “Rooby-rooby-roo!”
(extracted from a never-finished porn story called Pornarama):
Bender: “What?! Stick my nice shiny attatchments up some slimy meathole? Are you crazy?”
Fry: “Bender… Remember the time you were going to sell that anthrax-contaminated baby formula, and we didn’t turn you in?”
Bender: “Uh… yeh.”
Hermes: “Or that black market plutonium you deal on the side?”
Bender: “Hey, that’s stictly medicinal plutonium!”
Professor Farnsworth: “The point is, we’ve got the dirt on you! So get going!”
Bender: “Aww, crap…”
Inara: “Mal, we should talk.”
Malcom: “About what. Something to do with ‘work?’”
Inara: “Not exactly. I think we should just fuck and get this sexual tension between us resolved.” <grabs Malcom’s ass and the back of his head as she hauls him in for a tonsil-exploring kiss>
Malcom: <pulls away, looking dazed> Wah, huh, heh?
Inara: “You must admit that you were never going to get a gorram clue, you yu bun duh pain in the ass. We need to resolve this so we can figure out where we go from here.”
Malcom: “Where we. . .huh?”
Inara: <gets a firm hold on his shirt and drags him along in her wake> “Come on, we can talk about it later.”
Malcom: “But-”
Inara: "I said, later. You’ve got more important things to do with your mouth right now.
Malcom: <looks as if he’s been hit in the head with an axe handle as he is dragged into Inara’s shuttle>
“Och, Captain! Let the crew die but dinna hurt me engines!”