Finn: “Looks like we found our perp.” Benson: “What makes you think that?” Finn: “We collared him with the victim’s jewelry, he’s got no alibi, and he keeps changing his story.” Munch: “DNA just came back. Perfect match. We’ve got this scum dead-to-rights.” Stabler(glances at his watch and sighs deeply): “Nope. He’s not our guy. Can’t be.” Finn: “What the hell do you mean?” Stabler: “Don’t you get it by now? It’s too damned simple! There have only been four wildly-implausible plot twists so far, and none of them have touched on hot-button topics or recent news stories. Besides, we’ve still got twenty minutes to fill.”
“Oh, Buffy, you look so hot in that thong!”
“Willow! I love the garter!”
“Isn’t Anya’s bra the most sheer you’ve ever seen?”
“You think they’re sheerer than Tara’s panties? I mean, look!”
President Bartlet: “Not only will I see to it that you’re prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for revealing the existence of the military space shuttle program, Toby, I’ve ordered the Attorney General to seek the death penalty.”
Toby: “I’m screwed.” The Simpsons
Principal Skinner: “Sorry, Bart, but you’re expelled. Permanently. I mean it.”
Bart: (stunned silence)
Law and Order (a few years ago)
Abby Carmichael: (taking off clothes) “Jack, do you think the color of this teddy is flattering?”
Spock: “Captain, the situation on Eatamus Anythingus is rapidly deteriorating. We need to send a team down there at once or the planet will be lost. I calculate the odds of survival as less than one in ten to the fourth power.”
Kirk: “Very well, then. Spock, put together a 5-man team of red shirts to transport down at once!”
Kirk: " … Because I sure as hell ain’t going down there!"
Novak (hurriedly rushing in): Not to worry! The case is going to be heard by Judge Robert Throwsoutevidence, who will suppress the jewelry because the cops were overly sarcastic while reading the Miranda warning and suppress the DNA on the grounds that he damn well feels like it. Munch: I think he heard the last case that we solved at the half-hour mark. Stabler: Yay! Now I get to glare at the perp until he confesses! I’ve been working on a new glare. It’s called Blue Steel.
