Brief exchanges you'd like to see on your favorite TV shows

My contribution:

Law & Order: SVU

Finn: “Looks like we found our perp.”
Benson: “What makes you think that?”
Finn: “We collared him with the victim’s jewelry, he’s got no alibi, and he keeps changing his story.”
Munch: “DNA just came back. Perfect match. We’ve got this scum dead-to-rights.”
Stabler (glances at his watch and sighs deeply): “Nope. He’s not our guy. Can’t be.”
Finn: “What the hell do you mean?”
Stabler: “Don’t you get it by now? It’s too damned simple! There have only been four wildly-implausible plot twists so far, and none of them have touched on hot-button topics or recent news stories. Besides, we’ve still got twenty minutes to fill.”

George Ross: Dang, Carolyn. You look hot tonight!

“Oh, Buffy, you look so hot in that thong!”
“Willow! I love the garter!”
“Isn’t Anya’s bra the most sheer you’ve ever seen?”
“You think they’re sheerer than Tara’s panties? I mean, look!”

Yeah… something like that… :drool: :wink:


Jack: “Ok everyone, let’s all sit down and compare notes about everything we’ve all seen on this island.”

Captain Picard: “Aw, hell. Just shoot the silly-looking thing and be done with it. Who cares what it wants?”

Jack Bauer: I need to get into this building NOW!
Division Guy: Sure thing, Jack. Chloe, send him the info.
Chloe: Okay.

(seconds pass)

Jack Bauer: Chloe, I need to get [bleep]…okay, thanks.
Jack Bauer: (mumbling)…or millions of people will die…


The West Wing

President Bartlet: “Not only will I see to it that you’re prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for revealing the existence of the military space shuttle program, Toby, I’ve ordered the Attorney General to seek the death penalty.”

Toby: “I’m screwed.”
The Simpsons

Principal Skinner: “Sorry, Bart, but you’re expelled. Permanently. I mean it.”

Bart: (stunned silence)

Law and Order (a few years ago)

Abby Carmichael: (taking off clothes) “Jack, do you think the color of this teddy is flattering?”

Jack McCoy: (stunned silence)

“Yes, Speed. I really am your brother. What finally clued you in, dimwit?”

HANK HILL: I don’t need your advice, boy! I’ve spent 20 years working with propane and propane accessBOOOM!

I think I’ve seen that episode about half a dozen times. :wink:

Ahhh! My uretha!

Because Abby Carmichael is the world’s only DA who’s teddy contains a Luger holster and weapon! :smiley:




“He’s dead. Who’s next?”

Original Star Trek show:

Spock: “Captain, the situation on Eatamus Anythingus is rapidly deteriorating. We need to send a team down there at once or the planet will be lost. I calculate the odds of survival as less than one in ten to the fourth power.”

Kirk: “Very well, then. Spock, put together a 5-man team of red shirts to transport down at once!”
Kirk: " … Because I sure as hell ain’t going down there!"

McCoy: “Ditto that, Jim.”

Spock: “Yes, I shall include my butt out, also.”

“Well, we’ve been on this island for a long time now, so… Gimme a smooch, little buddy?”
Okay, so it’s not really one of my favorite shows.

"Marcia, Marcia, Marc…GREG???

What a useful phrase. I shall be using it often, also.

Novak (hurriedly rushing in): Not to worry! The case is going to be heard by Judge Robert Throwsoutevidence, who will suppress the jewelry because the cops were overly sarcastic while reading the Miranda warning and suppress the DNA on the grounds that he damn well feels like it.
Munch: I think he heard the last case that we solved at the half-hour mark.
Stabler: Yay! Now I get to glare at the perp until he confesses! I’ve been working on a new glare. It’s called Blue Steel.

Phoebe Halliwell: Billie, will you mind coming into the shower with me and getting my back with the loofah?

Billie Jenkins: Sure thing. Here, slather yourself in this baby oil and chocolate sauce, first.

Piper Halliwell: I’ll get the web cam.
I’d watch the show if that scene happened.