How are the definitions irrelevant to the discussion? She used the word correctly, even if it isn’t the definition most people attach to it. I think she got a raw deal.
No: the word she used was “gang rape,” and that word’s definition refers to literal rape. She used it as a simile; nobody denies that she used it as a simile. I just object to its use as a simile, as I think it trivializes rape.
If it makes you feel better to suggest that I’m sobbing to mommy about the issue or lack testicles or something, I give you advance permission to say so :).
Daniel
The term she used was not rape, but gang rape; it does not work metaphorically in the same way; do we ever hear about the the gang rape of justice?
Left Hand Of Dorkness
Ouch !!! I’ve been cut to the quick by the Left Hand Of Dorkness aka the Scimitar of Sarcasm.
Isn’t that the legal analysis show on Fox News?
I understood her intent.
As did I. That’s not what’s at issue.
Daniel
In your haste to join the pile-on against me, you have distorted the situation greatly. brightpenny did not apologize for her comment when called upon it originally (why would I have done this if she’d already apologized?) Unless you consider this an apology:
The thread was closed after that. Those who are so quick to assign me motives should at least come up with ones that fit the situation. She got in her shot at me - reiterating rather than apologizing for the comment in question. Then I opened this pit thread.
Because I understood her intent, I knew she was not trivializing rape. I don’t feel she owes anyone an apology for something she did not intend to use as a weapon…particularly when most people understood that she didn’t mean it that way. Could she have used a better word? Probably. But that doesn’t justify the pile-on. The viciousness with which she was attacked was not proportionate to her crime.
I disagree. She may not have intended to trivialize rape, but I believe that she did. I hope she will not do so in the future.
As I’ve said, I’m not endorsing viciousness toward her. I just think that this is a bad simile to use under such circumstances.
Daniel
In agreement with you but expanding it from my experience.
There seems to be many Vocal people on this board who are very sensitive to the use of Rape for anything less than its actual meaning. I think it was unfair to slam BrightPenny for her casual use in the form of a simile.
Many people seem to use the word Rape more casually than those who are upset by it. It is probably better to educate people to the insensitive nature of these remarks in a polite explanation than in an angry rant.
The “Raped at the Pump” Thread that Malacandra mentioned had some that overreacted and slammed everyone and others politely explain why the casual misuse of the word is offensive. Guess which posters I listened to in the thread?
Jim
With all due respect, brightpenny has indicated she was once the victim of a gang rape situation. I’m assuming you, being male, have not had a similar experience. My tendancy is to defer to people who have experienced both situations when they use similes. They have much more complete understandings of what was involved in the items being compared. And if my experience with rape survivors is any guide, none of them are interested in “trivializing” it.
So, to recap. brightpenny gets leeway to use the term in any situation she feels warrants it. She would know better than I what situations evoke the same feelings, in her, as the rape did. If other rape survivors would not choose the same usage or feel the same way, that’s fine, they don’t have to. But it isn’t my, or anyone’s(IMHO), place to tell a rape survivor she/he can’t or shouldn’t be able to draw parallels between that situation and other situations if they feel it is warranted.
Enjoy,
Steven
Well, I’d hardly call it “misuse” when the definition is broader than what some people on these boards would like to admit. I think those who are up in arms about it need to take a deep breath and look at the whole picture rather than just one portion of her statement. From where I stand, it’s not her insensitivity…it’s their oversensitivity.
And several people who have been raped-including GANG raped, came in to say they did indeed find her analogy offensive.
And it’s not about whose trauma gives them the right to make what analogy anyway. Either she was belittling actual gang rape, or she has experienced it and genuinely felt the thread in GQ was similar to it. The first case is reprehensible, the second troubling, and I think, again, that it’s the second which applies here.
The problem is that if she truly felt that way, she needs help. It is not healthy or proportional to feel that way about a thread on a message board. I also think people should probably stop poking her with a stick, because she’s not well.
I agree with you, but as long as I know people are sensitive to the use of the word, I refrain from using it for anything but its most literal meaning.
As I have learned of the “oversensitivity” here at the SDMB, I really do feel it is unfair to Slam **BrightPenny ** for her usage when her meaning was obvious and the fact she was new to the boards. (I’m repeating myself here, aren’t I, Sorry)
Jim
I apologized publicly in the thread and I sent private emails to those people, also apologizing.
Now not to be polite:
Diagnosing someones Mental health based on a few posts is just plain Dumb. Are you a train professional? If you are then I know you know better. Why do posters do this?
Jim
I like your new Location, I hope you see that many of us don’t wish to beat a dead horse. Good luck in future postings.
Jim
Rumour has it that he’s been workin’ on the railroad, all the live long day, and indeed just to pass the time away.
So I guess, yes.
Yours,
The Fat Controller