Bringing a narwhal to a knife fight - London "terrorist" attack

Two people I died - I think that means you should have skipped the scare quotes. Just because the guy was an inept terrorist doesn’t mean he wasn’t a terrorist. I mean, heck, he killed more people than the underwear bomber who set his crotch on fire on board an airplane.

Daaesh/ISIS/whatever we’re calling them this week basically want to scare people into converting to their brand of Islam. Apparently, they haven’t realize that “scared” is not the same as “cowering”, “paralyzed”, or “panicked”. Apparently, in the UK “scared” is synonymous with “pissed as hell and we’re going to f*** you up”. Go ahead, scare the British, you’ll get people shoving a narwhal tusk in your face, kicking you while you’re not only down but on fire, and in general saying “bring it on!”

Okay, I agree. I’m not emotionally invested in the scare quotes.

Captain Narwhal there was actually Polish, but the point stands. Plus, as we learned in WWII, Poles in Britain are not to be fucked with at all.

And speaking of Captain Narwhal and Poles in Britain, I’m enjoying this cartoon today.

Goodness gracious!

Plus it cuts down on available victims for the Wicker Man Festival.

Having clicked on this, I’m slightly disappointed to find that the weapon was merely a narwhal tusk.

This was clearly a clever, effective and commendable choice. But I think we can agree that bringing the whole narwhal would have been more badass.

The extinguisher was brilliant, but the narwahl tusk was inspired! Two brave civilians stepped into the fray, and brought whatever was at hand? Bravo!
~VOW

While the bravery of the police etc during these events is without questions at least they are trained, somewhat expecting something and have support, weapons etc.

These civilians where just going about their day and then were faced with death, blood and fear. They stood up and showed who they really are. We’d all like to think we’d do the same but until it happens nobody knows. These men do know now and they should be all awarded for their bravery and potential self sacrifice. On a different day with a different bastard they may have been dealing with a real vest. I’m humbled by them and their actions.

“It had the virtue of never being tried”

James T Kirk

Narwhals actually are a “thing,” at least here among my kids. The other day I heard my 5 and 3 year old talking about narwhals and I wondered how in the hell they knew about them, but they’ve apparently hit the mainstream, at least with young girls.

**So, what the hell is a “Narwhal Tusk”? **

Awesome! I think they should have “Narwhal Tusk” jousting tournaments. :slight_smile:

I aspire to be the kind of GM who sics the players against a knife-wielding terrorist, and when a player says, “You said we’re near a Fishmonger’s museum? Is there like a narwhal tusk on the wall that I can grab?” I say, “Absolutely!”

There was also a third unarmed man who merely pummeled the bejeezus out of the terrorist with his fists once he was down on the ground (pithily dubbed “The Pedestrian” in the cartoon I linked to above).

I have the perfect Christmas gift suggestion for them.

[Fun nature fact*: the narwhal is the natural enemy of the koala]
*may not be an actual fact

If you think about it, they’re stereotypical young-girl cuteness overload fare: a unicorn dolphin. SQEEE!

My 8-year-old is still young enough to be susceptible.

Exactly. I was in Target the other day and saw at least two narwhal related items. Here’s a link of “narwhal” hits from their website.

England set to ban narwhal tusks (tooths) in 5…4…3…2…

:slight_smile:

The Narwhals Song

The people who defended against the terrorist are to be awarded medals.