Brit-speak translation, please?

[Senegoid]

This old Pit thread, from about 10+ years ago, tells the essence of Marmite:

The Marmite Horror

If it appears that I write these words in haste, I beg your forgiveness - but my time is brief, for I cannot know how long my sanity will endure. For I have tasted of That Which Must Not Be Named - that which its acolytes, in foul ceremonies of ancient Pagan faiths, call “Marmite” - and I fear my mind cannot long endure the memory of that hideous flavour. My G-d, my G-d, my G-d - No. G-d help me, no! I will finish this, my last and greatest duty in this life. For the sake of my soul, that it mi…