When I was a little girl, I really, really, really wanted to be Nancy in Oliver!. But I look dead wrong for it (even though it’s in my range).
Rita in Lucky Stiff (for which I also look dead wrong, but I love belting out “Fancy Meeting You Here”.)
The Witch in Into the Woods
Adelaide in Guys & Dolls (I was a hot box dancer in college…)
Roxie in Chicago
Nickie in Sweet Charity
Erzulie in Once on This Island
Ilona in She Loves Me
Whoever gets the solo in Downtown in Little Shop of Horrors
Don Quixote. If we move the action to the present, I can provide my own suit of bizarre techno armor made from junk.
The veterinarian in BatBoy-The Musical. (Technically, I suppose this is off broadway)
Trinculus in Starmites (umm, ditto)
Riff Raff. I’ll even bring my own laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti-matter.
A few of my dream roles have already been mentioned, but they include:
[ul]
[li]Martha Jefferson in 1776[/li][li]Florence in Chess[/li][li]The Baker’s Wife in Into The Woods[/li][li]Sarah Brown in Guys & Dolls (I played her when I was a senior in high school, and would love to reprise that role sometime)[/li][li]The Referee/Arbiter in Chess (several years ago I saw a production with a female arbiter, and it worked quite well)[/li][li]Anita in West Side Story[/li][/ul]
:sigh:
I’ve always wanted to play the Emcee in Cabaret too! He’s just so wink-wink-nudge-nudge sleazy! 
I’d like to play Berger in Hair.
Oh… duh…
In that case:
Martin Dysart in EQUUS
Salieri in Amadeus
Arnold in Torch Song Trilogy (although Fierstein’s never allowed anybody else to do the play to my knowledge)
Henry in The Lion in Winter
Shylock in The Merchant of Venice (not that it’s exactly B’way)
King Lear (in 17th century “Louis XIV” style- the big hair and heels and velvet will make it all the more striking when he appears stripped later on)
Roy Cohn in Angels in America
Judge Haywood in Judgment at Nuremberg
So, so many! I’m a sucker for one great song, so a lot of my choices (Norma Cassidy, Gloria Thorpe, Fastrada) are based on that.
[ul][li]Mama Rose in Gypsy[/li][li]Ado Annie or Aunt Eller in Oklahoma[/li][li]Princess Puffer in The Mystery of Edwin Drood[/li][li]Miss Adelaide in Guys and Dolls[/li][li]Elphaba in Wicked[/li][li]Norma Cassidy in Victor/Victoria[/li][li]Gloria Thorpe in Damn Yankees[/li][li]Marta or Amy in Company[/li][li]Eileen Sherwood in Wonderful Town[/li][li]Matron Mama Morton in Chicago[/li][li]Anna in The Rink[/li][li]The Witch in Into the Woods[/li][li]Fastrada or The Leading Player (another character who need not be male) in Pippin[/ul][/li]
I’m sure there are others I’m foretting, but those are the big ones.
The title role in Pippin
One of the comedic but not very big male roles in A Chorus Line… maybe the guy who thought he had Gonnorhea.
Some role from The Fantasticks, although I’m not quite sure which one.
Actually, one of the highlights of my life was conducting the pit orchestra for Pippin, so perhaps I can just be the conductor in the Great Doper Production of Les Miz, West Side Story or Rent (although I suppose Rent doesn’t really need a conductor)
I always thought I was born to be Lucy in You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown, so if there’s ever a geriatric version, I’m set!
Keeping in mind that I am the triple threat (I can’t sing, dance or act).
Sky Masterson in Guys and Dolls. The single coolest character ever in a Broadway musical. Or Nicely-Nicely, 'cause he gets two of the three best songs. Plus, either way, I get to speak Runyonese.
And for that matter, I’d wanna be either of the two thugs in Kiss Me Kate–purely to talk (and sing–“Brush Up Your Shakespear”) in Runyon.
Henry Higgins would be a hoot to play.
So would Lancelot in Camelot (But Arthur has better songs)
I’d love to be Adams in 1776.
Moon-Face Mullins(?) from Anything Goes is a fun role, even if his only solo number is feeble (“Be Like The Bluebird” Bleh)
The thought of me in this role is atrocious (more than the others–this one requires a top-notch singer/dancer/actor), but the Ben Vereen MC-ish character in Pippin would be an incredible role to do. But Charlemange would be fun too.
Albin in La Cage (but I’d be the ugggg-liest damned ZaZa ever. And in my case, if that was what I was, I might want to rethink it! 
)
I could go on and on, but if I could only play one role, it’d be Don Quixote in Man of La Mancha.
I shall…impersonate a man. Come. Enter into my imagination and see him. His name? Alonzo Quihana, a country squire. No longer young: boney, hollow-faced, eyes that burn with the fire of inner-vision! Being retired, he has much time for books. He studies them from morn to night and often through the night as well. And all he reads oppresses him–man’s murderous ways towards man. He broods. And broods. And broods. And finally, from so much brooding, his brains dry up! He lays down the melancholy burden of sanity and concieves the strangest project ever imagined: to become a knight errant! No longer shall he be plain Alonzno Quihana-but a dauntless knight: ***DON QUIXOTE DE LA MANCHA!!
< trumpets >
Hear me now, O thou bleak and unbearable world
Thou art base, and debauched as can be!
But a knight with his banners all bravely unfurled
Now hurls down his gauntlet to thee!
I am I, Don Quixiote! The lord of La Mancha!
My destiny calls and I go
And the wild winds of fortune
Shall carry me onward
Oh withersoever they blow
Onward to glory I go!
Best. Opening. Number. Ever.
The Fenris of La Mancha!
Mordred or maybe Merlin/Pellinore in Camelot.
"The Seven Deadly Virtues,
Those ghastly little traps,
Oh, no, my lord, they were not meant for me!"
Oh, what the heck, I’d play Arthur or Lancelot as well. Or any of the knights. Or Tom of Warwick. I kind of like this play.
I’d also be happy to play Don Quixote in Man of La Mancha. Or Sancho. Or the Innkeeper.
To Dream the Impossible Dream…
I dunno, Eve, having a female Emcee causes some problems with the “Two Ladies” number! Unless the lyrics are changed to something like, “Three Ladies (deedle-lee dee-dee-dee) … and we don’t need no man, ja!”
If we’re talking roles I could realistically play (at least at one time):
Maria in West Side Story is probably the role I’ve always wanted most; in my youth I had the perfect look and voice for her. Ended up playing Anita, which was fun, but my heart lay elsewhere. Now I’m too old. Sob!
Christine in Phantom of the Opera.
Johanna (though I’d be hard-pressed to pull off the blonde wig) or Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd.
Anna in The King and I (already played her, but it’s such a kickass role I’d be delighted to do it again); also, Lady Thiang, just for the opportunity to sing what to me is the most beautiful song Broadway’s ever produced, “Something Wonderful.” Wouldn’t kvetch about playing Tuptim either, since she gets three lovely songs (“I Have Dreamed,” “My Lord and Master,” and “We Kiss in the Shadows”).
The Julie Andrews double-header: Maria in Sound of Music and Eliza in My Fair Lady
The Shirley Jones trifecta: Laurey in Oklahoma, Julie in Carousel, and Marian in The Music Man. It’d be fun to play Oklahoma’s Ado Annie, too.
Aldonza in Man of La Mancha
Reno Sweeney in Anything Goes
Evita in … y’know.
Leading Player in Pippin
Mama Rose in Gypsy
Annie Sullivan in The Miracle Worker, and Shakespeare’s Kate, Juliet, Desdemona and Lady MacBeth.
In the “Roles I’d kill to play but would never be able to, due to a) gender, b) race, or b) lack of specific talent” department …
Sweeney Todd
Jesus, Judas, Pilate, Caiaphas, Herod … oh, the whole darn cast of Jesus Christ Superstar, except the only role I’m gender-appropriate for.
Cassie in A Chorus Line (can’t dance well enough).
Serena, Bess and ummm, Clara? (“Summertime” singer) from Porgy and Bess.
Any of the men in 1776, but particularly Adams, Franklin and Rutledge.
Curly in Oklahoma, Billy in Carousel, and Harold Hill in The Music Man (aka The Guys Playing Opposite Shirley Jones Trifecta)
The Phantom
Oh man, just too many to name. Depressing to think of all the roles I’ll never get to do! And we haven’t even mentioned operas…
I want to play Godot.
Vernon Gersch in They’re Playing Our Song despite the fact I can’t act or sing or play piano.
I’ve only seen ultra-low budget local theater versions of the play, but I really enjoyed them.
I choose Vernon because, like him, I have always fascinated by women with quirky personalities.
There’s a scene where he and Sonia are supposed to record a song. Vernon is sitting in the recording studio waiting for Sonia to arrive and lay down her vocal track. She’s late. One day and 20 minutes late.
Vernon comments that the one day doesn’t bother him, but the 20 minutes does.
(pathetic name dropping time)
The first time I saw this was in 1987 or '88. It was a production at a hole in the wall “theater” (located in a strip shopping center). You’ve heard of dinner theater? This was “dessert theater”. During the intermission, they served ice cream and cake.
Anyway, the woman playing Sonia was Isabel Keating. A very popular and talented local actress who (unsurprisingly) has gone on to greater things: playing Judy Garland in The Boy From Oz with Hugh Jackman.
Pirate Jenny!
But I don’t want to suffer through Threepenny Opera night after night. I just want to clock in, belt out her song and ship off.
You can be Nicely, and I’ll be Sky. I’ve already been Benny Southstreet in one production; it’s time for me to move up in the world. But we’ll both have fun with Runyonese.
But if I can’t be Sky, I’ll settle for being Orin Scrivello, the dentist in Little Shop of Horrors.
Or the guy who sings “I’m watchin’s Sis go pit-a-pat…I can do that” in Chorus Line.
Or the John the Baptist/Judas character in Godspell.
Or Harold Hill in The Music Man.
sigh
I’ve seen a production with a female Emcee – for the “Two Ladies,” they used two men in vampy drag. Very clever, I thought!
Liberal beat me to it. I wouldn’t mind playing Claude, though. Or Woof. Or just being part of the Tribe. I’ll bring my own hair!
Ohh! And how about Pharoh in Joseph? Thankoovermuch.
My dream roles are from two play probably no one (except Eve, of course) has heard of:
Lizzie from The Rainmaker and
Mrs. Savage for * Curious Savage*
I’m not too old to play Lizzie (I have young skin) and Mrs. Savage is an older woman, so if I’m not discovered until I’m sixty, I’m still good to go. I’d also like the chance to paly mrs. Antrubus (?) from By The Skin of Our Teeth, but mostly because I should have had the role in high school but got cast as the baby dinosaur because i was so good at getting the laughs.
In college, my friends once forbid me to read Tennessee Williams because I channelled the characters, and life in college is melodramatic enough without adding a southern accent. I’d loved to play Blanche or Maggie the Cat, Laura or Amanda–almost any of his women. The same goes for Ibsen, and I wouldn’t turn down a role in a Eugene O’Neil work, although I don’t think he does women as well as Williams and Ibsen–I’d be Hickman from the Iceman Cometh in a heartbeat (this all supposes that I am the greatest actor of my time, of course).
I’d like to be King Arthur in Camelot, but that’s not really a role that could be re-written as a woman.
I’d be Fanny Brice in Funny Girl and Dolly in Hello, Dolly!, and Auntie Mame in either the musical or non-musical version of the play. I vacillate between my desire to be the finest dramatic actress the stage had ever seen and my great love (and ability) of getting the laugh. Of course, if I don’t start auditioning again, my great talent will remain undiscovered–I owe it to my hometown community theater to grace them with my performances.
I thought I’d try to get the ego down first, then do some actual acting, don’t you know.