[Bruce Campbell]
This is my BROOMstick!
[/Bruce Campbell]
I made an Ash ref in both threads several hundred posts ago!
:eek:
So you admit that Broomstick bombed Pearl Harbor.
Now we’re gettin’ somewhere.
I’ve had this in my head since yesterday morning. Thanks butthead!
I’m not defending anything or saying anything specifically posted by Broomstick is true.
But I can 100% believe she has been told some weird and bizarre shit if people saw her husband, being out in public and standing out or not being the norm seems to attract assholes and whacked statements and questions and advice.
But if you don’t necessarily believe “anything specifically posted by Broomstick is true”, why would you believe she has been told some “some weird and bizarre shit”? Because frankly some of the things she claims to have been told in public are the hardest for me to believe.
Now imagine the weird & bizarre she she claims to have been told in public that she hasn’t shared with us!!!
(makes your mouth throw up a little in your mind, doesn’t it?)
I can’t say whether or not Broomstick’s husband has a burned bum or not, because I wasn’t there when it did or didn’t happen, and even if I were there I’d probably be too embarrassed to admit looking at a man’s bum.
But, I am here to say that human skin does burn easily and symbols or words do occasionally get accidently imprinted on it, branding-iron style. I can say this with authority because it happened to me a long time ago, and I live with the physical and mental scars to this day. In my case, it was a war injury, one that earned me a Purple Heart.
I was in Korea at the time, dug in with my troops for some R&R just a click south of the 39th parallel. I was standing outside the mess tent, studying my map, with wild Yak roasting on the grills. The military had recently shipped these newfangled Char-Broil grills to all the mess tents in Korea.
As you know, in times of war, all messages must be written in very sophisticated code, lest the enemy learn sensitive information, like battle tactics, troop positions and product brand names. In Korea, the military used a particularly effective coding algorithm: writing everything backwards, mirror-style. Try as they did, those North Koreans never did break that code.
Then, just as I looked up from my map and yelled, “fellas, I think I made a mistake, we’re supposed to be just below the 38th parallel, not the 39th, the gates of hell swung open and the onslaught commenced. A regiment of North Korean foot soldiers and Hyundai tanks swarmed over the hill and stormed toward us. We started to eat very quickly, not wanting the enemy to confiscate our precious food. But, many of us weren’t fast enough.
Before I knew what hit me [del]2[/del] [del]5[/del] 15 North Koreans had me surrounded and began poking me with their bayonets, some even managed to unravel a bit of my cashmere sweater (it was casual Friday). I grabbed a Yak leg and started swinging it furiously, knocking them all down, except for one.
That one mean-looking sombitch solder (he looked a lot like Psy) then charged me and, catching me off balance, made me stumble backwards, falling on to one of the red hot grills.
From that day forward, my troops, the ones who survived, called me ol’ Sizzlin’ Sgt. Rump Roast and now my kids do, too. And, you guessed it, forever branded (non-mirrored) on my left buttock cheek is the word “CHAR”, and on my right cheek, “BROIL.”
Embarrassingly, I get snickers and sarcastic comments about my ass every single day, even from children (I live in a nudist colony).
So, don’t be too quick to judge the veracity of other people’s stories even if they seem a little far-fetched, because sometimes, as in my case, they’re true!
Hilarious!
Broomstick’s husband is Tori Spelling!
This kinky couple decided one day to have sex in a graveyard. So they go and start doing each other on a headstone. After they are done the woman starts complaining of back pains. She then goes to her doctor and he tells her: “Well Ms. Jacobs, your back is fine. You only pulled a muscle. You should be worried about something else though. Your ass died in 1942.”
Ha ha classic Dean, not giving a shit about Tori. Tori gets skin grafts and Dean says, “Oh it’s nothing, she just got a little burn.”
I used to think she was just creative, but after her rambling in the MPSIMS thread about what kind of pilot she is, I’m calling BS. She’s not a pilot, or if she is, it’s limited to paper airplanes.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=18568503&postcount=29
I’m leaning more towards pathological liar now.
Did she use to fly a Weber plane?
Well, it appears that at least one Doper ( ** Qadgop the Mercotan** )has met her personally, and has pleasant things to say about both Broomstick and her piloting stories.
A lovely visit from Broomstick
I can’t help but think even somebody with spina bifida isn’t going to stay seated on a round-topped hot grill long enough to have ɿɘɗɘW permanently branded on his ass, no matter how drunk he is. Plus, his ass crack would have kept the ɗ from imprinting, leaving just ɿɘ ɘW.
I will never believe she’s flown anything other than her namesake.
I get the strong impression Broomstick is a lair on some things or at least a heavy exaggerator. She seems to like the pathetic attention she gets by being a “victim” of society or circumstance.
However, I can believe she was a pilot at one time. Then again, I wouldn’t be totally shocked to find out it was a lie based on playing flight sims.
No doubt, her cats may have a animal’s resting place, especially one that is well hidden, and she may well have* a secret or private place in which a person seeks concealment or seclusion*.
I bet her husband wishes he could get a do-over for that day.
A rebeWt, as it were.