Oh so very many moons ago, Broomstick and I had a little disagreement about sitting on public toilet seats. I’ve always been a hoverer, and I was told, in no uncertain terms, that hovering put me in the same class of person that steals candy from babies, kicks puppies and kittens, and leaves dirty tampons lying around for others to find.
Ok. So I evaluate the situation. Why do I hover? Do I NEED to hover? It’s my mom who got me started, but she also told me that squeezing pimples would cause you to get a brain aneurysm, so perhaps her information in this regard is suspect.
So I think, perhaps I’ll just TRY sitting. Gradually, over many months, I have managed to sit on a few public toilet seats. It has been a reasonably satisfactory experience, until today.
Because today, folks
I SAT IN SOMEONE ELSE’S PEE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!
Broomstick, I am holding you personally responsible.
Oh, that is just awwwwwful AIW. There is nothing grosser than sitting in a puddle of someone else’s piddle (except of course plonking your posterior onto someone else’s poop).
Broomstick, you should be ashamed of yer’self. Fancy not telling AIW to check the condition of the toilet seat beforehand.
Oh you poor thing. I am a hoverer too! But, “I am a sweetie 'cause I wipe the seatie”. Please people if you miss the target, please wipe the seat for those that don’t hover.
I always wipe the seat down (whether I see anything on it or not) or use the disposable seat covers if available. Every time.
NEVER sit on a public toilet seat without wiping it down first. And, if you see big splatters of pee on it that you don’t feel will be sufficiently removed by wiping, then hover.
It’s times like these that make me happy to be a man. No hovering, no sitting. Just stand in front of it, whip it out and… ahhhh!
Perish the thought of pooping in a public toilet! ewww! No telling how many pimple covered butts have sat there before me. I’d have to scrape my ass off with a razor blade if even one of my butt hairs touched that seat.
<i’d like to think my mother and father for the donation of their chromosones, potty training for teaching me to stand and pee, and of course my penis; without which none of this would be possible>
And here I thought someone had figured out who dropped the two dozen rolls of toilet paper on Alice’s roof… >cough< >cough< not that I’ve ever done anything like that…
Alice…you have to check the seat before sitting, OK hon? Because a hoverer might have been there before you.
Choose which seats you sit upon wisely, and wipe first if necessary.
And we won’t talk about the Outhouse Stories ™ where I elected to use the bushes - really - after a fellow camper discovered wasps had elected to nest under the seat the hard way - by pissing on their colony.
And if you feel you MUST go back to hovering please wipe up after yourself if necessary, OK? 'Cause worse than hoevering is leaving one’s bodily wastes or the seat wrapper - hey, if YOU don’t want to touch that skanky paper thing what makes you think I do?
Here I was thinking, “a poster I like to read calling out another poster I like to read, this can’t be good.” I opened this thread with a great deal of trepidation, hoping it wouldn’t be too bad, and that we would all eventually get along.
I’m amazed anyone would sit on a public toilet seat without at least checking to see if it’s clean and dry, let alone wiping it off first. I figured this out years ago, and I’m a guy!
I am so sorry for you AIW thats not cool. I hover too and I won’t even think of sitting just for the basic fact that no matter what other peopl say you know that some one sat on that tiolet and they probably did not wash thier ass. I feel dirty just thinking about it.
I DID check the seat. It was kind of dim in there (one of the overhead bulbs was out), and I really didn’t want to get my face 6" away from a public toilet seat, if you know what I’m saying.
Suffice it to say, I was really, REALLY not impressed.
Perhaps I’ll go back to the hand perch - that when you put one hand’s worth of fingertips on the seat and sort of perch your butt on it. This may sound gross, but I figure I’m going to wash my hands after anyhow, whereas washing my butt in a public restroom may be a tad tricky.
Great. Now my butt skin is feeling all creepy again thinking about it. Blech.
