How do you approach using a public toilet seat?

You’re in a public place – anywhere outside of your home, really. You’ve got the use the bathroom in a way that would normally mean sitting down on the toilet seat. It looks clean, but someone may or may not have been there before you since the last time the seat was sanitized. What do you do? What DO you do?

Shit on the floor.

I take two or three sheets of paper, give it a quick wipe round, chuck the paper in the bowl (to minimise splashback) then plonk my hairy buttocks on the seat and get to business.

“Sanitised”? Puh-lease. I’m not licking the seat, I’m putting my arse on it. What nasties are going to penetrate the well-tanned hide of my gluteus maximus?

Give it a quick wipe with a handful of TP and sit down.

Been doing this for decades and have never caught a disease of any kind.

By the way, the above was my “shoot the hostage” response. In reality, I’ll give it a quick wipe with some TP in a futile attempt to convince myself that there isn’t poo-molecules just a-floating all over the place. Then I cop a squat and do my business.

Exactly. I don’t understand how people think you can “catch” something from placing unbroken skin on a toilet seat. Unless you have open sores on your arse (in which case you have more pressing concerns than where to take a dump), then what the hell is the problem? Hoverers, gasket users and other germophobes, you are bloomin’ mental, the lot of you. By all means wipe the piss off the seat, but after that, get on with it.

For the record, this is me as well. Either a paper towel or toilet paper. Seems to work just fine.

Unless it’s got some droplets on it I just sit myself down and crap. If there’s something on it then I wipe it off.

If there is something brown or red on the seat, I retreat and try another stall. If there’s urine or anonymous droplets of water, I hover over the seat, and when I’ve concluded my business I wipe up both the preexisting drops and any I may have introduced.

I realize I’ve never faced the droplets when anticipating a lengthy sit-down; if I were I think I’d wipe off the seat, then sit.

I would have said that, but as I tend to drop a sheet or two of paper onto the water to avoid the “cold fountain” effect, I usually wipe it round the seat first.

I only tend to retreat when it’s either totally blocked up or has evidence of vomit.

How do I approach it? Butt first. Always.

I don’t use stalls that have brown or red or vomit, as others have said. Beyond that I don’t really care - I’ll wipe up what’s there, and I don’t hover.

I really don’t like using those port-a-potties, though I will if I have to. But I try to avoid it as much as possible.

As long as there’s no splotches of liquid/material/etc. on the seat (or still in the can, I don’t flush for others), I’m good to go. Quick visual inspection then use the damn thing.

…I think this is probably TMI but oh well.

This is what I do as well.

I’m female by the way, and I tend to find that women are more worried about clean public toilets then men.

So, is anybody going to cop to being that bitch who thinks she’s too good to sit on a toilet seat and then leaves her pee all over the seat for me to sit in? Because I really, really want to meet her. In a dark alley.

You forgot “I check first to see if the seat is clean”. If it is I sit down, if it’s not I eaither clean it off w/tp or use a different stall.

If only the stupid search option would actually work here, I could find you a link to the Doper woman who not only does this, she is teaching her daughters to do it too.

I used to build a little paper nest on the toilet seat but have since trained myself to just wipe it off. I realize I’m unlikely to catch ass leprosy from just walking in and sitting down but it makes me feel better and that’s what’s important to me.

I know a girl whose mom made her not squat, but STAND on the seat.

:eek: :confused: How does that work, exactly?