I have had my ass ringed in the piss of other women for the last fucking time. Men, you may be unaware of this heathen behavior by some women, and I am here to tell you about it, so you can use it as a defense next you’re accused of not lifting the seat, or not putting it down, or dribbling a little piss on the floor, etc.
I cannot count the times I have gone into clean bathrooms and sat down on the toilet seat (after all, wtf is a seat for) only to feel the cold smelly piss of the last occupant all over my ass. DISGUSTING!!! And completely uncalled for. Ladies, if your delicate ass is too good for the seat, at least have the goddamned decency to wipe your heathen mess of it. If you are one of the women who routinely do this, consider yourself called out, you spineless, wimpy excuse for a carbon-based life form. From this day forward, if I enter a stall and find it covered with piss and I see the person who did it, I will call you out to your ugly damned face. I will do it front of all the women in the bathroom, and I may even follow you out to announce your nasty ways to the world at large. I am making it my personal mission to out the likes of you, and to train you, since your mother/father/guardian couldn’t, in the polite ways of society. I will personally and brutally inculcate manners into you so that you know your pissy mess will not be tolerated. I call on all non-messy women to join me in this effort. I call on all men who know women who do this to relentlessly tease them until the stop their beastly behavior. And I will post this poem in as many public bathrooms as I possibly can, until you are shamed into having a sense of decency:
Oh, there is such irony
that woman would complain to he
who with great care oft fails to miss
the seat and sprinkles it with piss.
But when she’s feeling that same urge
in public to her bladder purge
she often hovers o’er the seat
as if her ass were such a treat
it should not touch, I thus entreat
girls, wipe your piss off toilet seats!!!
Hear hear! I share your anger and outrage! It is simply disgusting and I can never seem to understand how this happens. Women squat and hover over the seat to avoid touching a dirty seat, and they therefore make the seat even dirtier?!? Where is the logic?? If they are experienced hoverers, shouldn’t they have learned to avoided peeing on the seat by now? What a bunch of disgusting pigs. If it weren’t for people like themselves, they wouldn’t have to hover on the seat in the first place. Most public restrooms are cleaned every day, more than most home bathrooms. So what is the big phobia over sitting on the seat? All that touches the seat is the back of your upper thighs…so what is the big deal? Sit the fuck down and take your pee! Damn people.
[slight hijack] This one woman in my office building is an example of one of these toiletseat-phobes. First she washes her hands, doctor-style. Then she gets two paper toilet seat covers. Then she does her business. Then she washes her hands, doctor-style, again. Then uses paper towels to open the door.
Our office bathroom is very clean. It is cleaned every evening, floors, toilets, sinks and all. There are maybe only 8 women on the floor so it’s not like there’s hundreds of people in there every day. So what the fuck is wrong with this woman?
Sometimes the water on the toilet seat is caused by the water splashing up as the toilet flushes. I’ve seen this happen. Still ewww, but not as much ewww.
Not to say your anger isn’t warranted. Just don’t let it blind you completely. Wouldn’t you feel awful if you followed a woman out of the bathroom, screaming about her pissing habits, when it was actually toilet water?
I’m just a guy, so perhaps I’m missing something. But if a woman is an “experienced hoverer”, then why put the seat down at all? If the thing is so disgusting that she can’t stand to touch it, shouldn’t she put it up? Or is that too “guy-like”?
Of course, I’m addressing the same women the OP is pitting, so I don’t expect an answer …
I wholly agree with you about the heinous seat-peers . . . But you plunk yourself down in the bathroom without looking first?! Pee must be the least of the things you’ve saat in.
Well, it sounds to me like she isn’t creating problems for other people. She’s got a thing about bathrooms, and she’s found a way to address it, and none of you are the worse for it. I’m not sure why her weird “thing” attracts your ire. It’s no skin off your nose, is it? She sounds like she’s leaving the place even cleaner than she would if she were more like a pull-down-those-pants-and-go girl, like me.
What the OP is complaining about is a different kind of jerk altogether.
If the seat’s too filthy to sit on, it’s too filthy to lift up. And if you lift it up with your foot/TP-covered hand, there’s a chance it’ll fall while you’re using it, and hit your back.
I hate seeing this where I work - we have white toilet seats so I can tell when it’s urine and when it’s just water (and I know of one particular toilet that will get spotted with water during a flush, so I wipe it down after using it to prevent icking out other women). What’s worse is that we have always-full paper cover dispensers (aka “ass gaskets”) in each stall, so this could be easily preventable.
Our bathrooms are cleaned a couple times a day, but I still wash my hands “doctor-style” because I work in a medical center. We know well how important hygiene is in preventing infections from spreading.
Elysian, I see your point, but I’m not talking about a drop or two. I’m talking about the seat covered in piss, as if the nasty bitch were doing the fucking macarena while she was hovering her nasty ass over the seat.
And Eve, I do look at the seat, generally speaking. Because of this, it happens a lot less frequently that it used to, but them I’m still left cleaning up another woman’s piss, aren’t I? And isn’t that still just wrong? Also, lighting does not always allow one to see so clearly, and piss can often be pretty transparent. Generally speaking, I have adopted the practice of grabbing a load of toilet paper and wiping the seat off anyway, wet or dry, just in case, but I’m still positively infuriated that I have to do so, just because some ass is so concerned about her ass.
Oh, I feel your pain! I was complaining about this with a friend of mine a few days ago, and we’ve both agreed that women are often FAR more disgusting than men when it comes to peeing. I would far prefer to have to put the toilet seat down after my husband goes to the bathroom than wind up sitting in a pee-ring, or having to wipe said pee-ring off with some TP. Ewwwww!!!
Generally speaking, I have adopted the practice of grabbing a load of toilet paper and wiping the seat off anyway, wet or dry…
Which has the added advantage of you don’t finish and then discover the toilet paper supply has been exhausted in the stall you are in.
Doesn’t assuming the skiing position stress certain muscles in such a way as to cause incontinence?
I’ve always found the whole thing ridiculous. Hey girls, it might be called a toilet seat, but you don’t sit on it (although this confusion might explain some of the mess). The evil nasty germs are not going to march from your thighs to your poor sensitive girl parts upon realising that they’re in the wrong place.
While we’re on the subject of toilet seats, why do women always complain about guys leaving the seat up? Surely this means that any errant drops end up on the porcelain and not on the part you (and the guy in question) have to sit on? I know it’s a whole ‘battle of the sexes’ thing, but it’s a battle I’d rather lose.
practice in the shower (and kill off any athlete’s foot fungus into the bargain) to get your aim & mechanics down.
go to work as usual
lift the lid
pee standing up
4a) snicker to self as others ponder your feet facing the wrong direction
wipe the rim if you need/want to
wash hands…or not
Of course, there are still idiots who will continue to spray like cats, but it won’t be your problem as often.
Men have not yet mastered the art of pooping standing up, but I have been known to study in anticipation of enlightenment horses & cattle doing the same. We’ll let you know once we get it figured out.
Heheh. Sorry for laughing, but as a guy, I quickly learned to never trust the public toilet seat. Never. So sitting in a cold puddle of piss hasn’t happened to me since I was a kid. But I applaud your quest for decency and hygiene.
(When I was in the Des Moines airport recently, they had these cool cybertoilets in their restrooms that would automagically put a brand new plastic seat liner on the seat for every new customer. You would have loved it.)
If I were using the toilet in a funeral home, which might be located near a closed door at the end of a dark hallway, behind which certain funeral-preparation-related activities might well be taking place, and a machine suddenly and noisily spit out a fresh toilet seat cover as I was about to sit down, it would scare the living Christ out of me.
Let’s just say it would be a good thing my ass would be hovering over a toilet bowl.
We have a woman on our floor (we have yet to identify her), who does the same thing but then proceeds to throw the paper towel into the corner on her way out. Talk about having grown up in a barn! She can’t bring herself to touch the door handle, and yet she makes someone else clean up her mess on the floor!
What y’all need are spring-loaded seats, such that if there’s no weight keeping them down, they auto-pop up against the back wall (or tank if it’s a tank-style toilet).
I’ve been railing about this for years. Many times I’ve wanted to start a Pit thread about it. Thank you for doing what I never had the courage to do. I did rant about it in another thread. I think I called one person a nasty skank because I walked out of the stall she’d just come out of, and it was awash in piss. What made it worse was that she’s a Doper (it was at a gathering) and, considering that she probably knows who she is, it means I probably won’t be attending any more Doper gatherings. But damn, that’s just nasty, and grown women should know better. I’d expect it from a 6-year old.
It’s the “hover virus” that causes it. One nasty skank pisses on the seat and doesn’t clean up after herself. Another woman comes in, sits down in the piss, says “EWWW, I’ll NEVER sit on the toilet seat again!” and proceeds to hover, pissing on the seat and not cleaning it up. It just repeats over and over, replicates, and the few who clean up after themselves are rare.
I’m also now in the habit of wiping the seat no matter if I see anything or not. I like to sit and I’m not going to stop sitting, but I wish I DIDN’T HAVE TO CLEAN UP AFTER NASTY SKANKS BEFORE SITTING!
(I do clean up after anyway, because of the flush spray. I’m considerate that way)
Women, don’t be nasty skanks. Mothers, teach your daughters not to be nasty skanks.
I don’t touch door handles either. I either use my skirt, or use a paper towel and throw it away first chance I get (not in the corner, what a bitch!).
:eek: Isn’t that what toilet paper is for? Do you not use it? How can you stand to put your pants back on while wet? How can you stand to walk around wet and squishy? Sorry, but EWWWW!
So you wipe the seat but don’t wipe yourself? Thanks though.
