Ok, some background is necessary. My husband, (we can call him “Alpha,” he’d like that) is firefighter working in the private sector for a large manufacturer. The company does a lot of military stuff, so Alpha has several DOD clearances.
There are places he can’t go, and people he can’t associate with.
His older brother, (call him Bro) has been treated like a child his entire life. Childhood illness, parental guilt etc. He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, but not as stupid as he’s been allowed to act.
Bro is a cook in a large nursing home.
A couple years ago, he told us that his boss had found him two roommates to help with expenses. Bro owns a single wide on a rented slab. There is hardly room for him much less, two more people. But, his life.
As time went on, we got bits of information. The roommates are illegal. The nursing home got SS #s for them. They are married to each other. He is catholic, she is muslim.
After a few months, they supposedly move on. They still work at the nursing home but aren’t exactly living with Bro anymore. (?)
In October, I get a call from Bro wanting advice. The woman is pressuring Bro to marry her(?) WTF??
I expressed my dismay. He said he had been mistaken about them being married to each other. However, she has 3 children in Jakarta. (no mention of a husband there.)
Bro wanted to know how to handle this. He said he didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he wouldn’t want to marry someone he didn’t love.
My advice to him was, to be direct. Tell her no.
Then he tells me the boss is pressuring him to marry her.
I told him to get a lawyer.
I invited him to dinner the next day so Alpha could talk to him. He agreed, but never showed.
Fast forward to December. I was visiting Alpha’s mom and, surprise! Bro is married. Yes indeed. He somehow fell in love with the woman.
Alpha was beside himself. He’s afraid this could threaten his clearances, not to mention Bro could be in a lot of trouble.
When we looked up their marriage licence, it identified her as (her first name) & LNU last name unknown! How can this be? Could she be a terrorist?!?
We are at a loss as to what to do.
If Alpha calls DOD, they’ll want to know why he didn’t report this 2 years ago. I guess we could drop a dime with INS, but, he is family. Alpha doesn’t want to upset his 80 year old parents.
Any advice, comments, sympathy?
Drop the dime. Anyone functioning on that shady a level needs to be investigated, coddling parents be damned.
You said she has kids in Jakarta. Many Indonesians have only a singe name, including past presidents Sukarno and Suharto.
I didn’t know that. I can go back to bed now. I’ve learned something today.
I don’t really think Bro is really aware of what he’s gotten himself into. I’m sure she made the deal more attractive so to speak.
Bro is not the most attractive man out there. I don’t believe in his 50 some years, he’s had a date. It wouldn’t take much for her to convince him he’s in love.
So, I don’t really want to get him in trouble.
Confront brother, insist that he get legal or you will make it legal for him. Pretty lame to endanger his brothers security clearance like that, its hard to get.
As far as Alpha is concerned, the longer this goes on the more danger his clearence is in. The time to drop the dime is now, not later. Right now. Time to walk into his security officer and have a heart to heart.
As far as Bro is concerned, dumb is dumb, and this was dumb. I mean truly dumb. Dumb on a level that is seldom contemplated by mortal man. But, once again, this is a level of dumb that doesn’t get better with time. Do it now and he might not get jail time. The more time goes by the less likely that is.
Time is no one’s friend here, except for the siren from Jakarta.
hypnoboth sigh, I know you’re right. If she was from almost anywhere else… too many questions that can only have bad or worse answers. I’ll talk to Alpha when he gets home tomorrow morning. sigh
Umm… it’s extremely unlikely that familial fuckups of less than a truly spectacular (or especially public) nature could endanger Alpha’s clearance. As a practical matter if they revoked the clearances of all the people related to those who have or do smoke dope or otherwise broken some law somewhere there’d only be a very few people left with clearance. Not including anyone in the WhiteHouse. Or the Previous WhiteHouse. Or the one before that. Or the one before that. And so on. Really. DSS doesn’t care so long as Alpha isn’t directly compromised by this. Financial compromise is their most pressing concern, “potential blackmail” of relatives ranks down there around “kidnapped children and threatened puppies” on their list of most likely scenarios.
Whether you realize it or not, I think you’re using the excuse of a clearance to get into issues that fundamentally aren’t your business. Who Bro messes about with doesn’t reflect on you. Stop thinking it does, you’re not that important Unless, you know, you ** do ** live in the WhiteHouse or something. Laura? Is that You?
No?
Then relax. If he’s found love at fifty good for him. If he’s found love at all good for him. Don’t begrudge him that. Now I WOULD go ahead and lose the meth lab in the basement and the lunch time teas with the Chineese cultural attache. But that’s just me.
Regards,
-Bouncer-
Oops,
Forgot to add. Being married to a foreign national or an immigrant is neither a barrier to achieving a security clearance nor a reason for revocation of one. Really. May seem odd to you, but it’s true.
Regards,
-Bouncer-
You have a point. Bro’s missteps really don’t increase Alpha’s bribe risk.
Actually, it was Alpha who wanted to drop a dime. Then he started what if-ing and scared himself. (don’t tell him I told)
I doubt if she’ll be around in a year, and Bro will have a broken heart, but as you say, it’s his business.
By the way, how did you find out about the… I mean, what’s a meth lab? And its not the Chinese cultural attache, He’s from Nor I mean…who am I having tea with?
Thanks for the voice of reason.
'nurse
You’re welcome, I came off harsher than I intended, and for that I apologize. I’d tell Alpha to make sure he holds onto his clearance though, it’s a golden ticket to basically lifetime employment. They have job fairs just for cleared people nowadays because it’s difficult and expensive and time consuming for employers to qualify people without pre-existing clearance.
Best of luck to you and Alpha and his Bro.
Regards,
-Bouncer-
No problem, in fact, I didn’t notice the harshness.
BTW, the foreign national part was never an issue. Her illegal status and possible bigamy were the main concerns.
I guess, infact we’re doing exactly what we criticize Alpha’s parents of doing, trying to protect/shield Bro from himself.
Actually Alpha is having an identity crisis about the Company. He’s thinking about going back to wildland firefighting. That’s where he started when he was 17, still in high school.
I would rather see him go back to school. He’s a hazmat tech now, and he likes that alot. He’s do well as an industrial hygienist.
Anyway, Thanks again.
Oh, how might I close this thread?