I know a guy sort of - not really well. Anyway, he married someone a couple years ago, but it seems as if she is always away, and spends months at a time in her home country for reasons that seem dubious. Is this normal in these situations?
I’d be lying if part of my inclination to have suspicions was not related to the disparity in their physical attractiveness. Physical appearance wise and also how he carries himself, personality, lack of wealth etc. would lead one to conclude his appeal to the opposite sex is quite limited.
Hmm, off hand, I can think of three couples I know who married for a green card*. None was especially secretive about it, or I wouldn’t have known. Of course, in all those cases, the American knew they were marrying to help a friend stay in the country. Maybe you are describing a different sort of situation.
One wasn’t actually after a green card, just a few more years of temporary visa before going home.
Is he mentally compromised? If not possibly he understands the quid pro quo and has decided that whatever he is getting out of that relationship is as much play as he can realistically expect.
Plus it was my understanding that the INS is pretty diligent and aggressive about people playing them these days re marrying for green cards. If she’s spending most of her time out of country early in a marriage I’m surprised they are cool with this.
Those dubious reasons may actually be true, that’s got nothing to do with whether she needs a green card or not. If she had married for a green card I’d expect her to spend as little time away as possible (INS looks funny at any trips out of the US).
Years ago, one of my coworkers (Colombian living in the US) spent a go-live period back home because his grandmother had died and he responsible for a lot of the paperwork. The Americans all thought “his grandmother died” was a joke; no, it wasn’t, but apparently “my grandmother died and I have to be there to manage the paperwork” was a dubious reason in their eyes.
I’m unsure why this is considered a bad thing. I mean, so a hot young woman marries you “for your green card”. She does have to stay for about 2 years and not be divorced from you for that time period, or she may be deported.
So, you get a woman who you had no chance with otherwise who knows she needs to keep you reasonably happy for 2 years, for the low price of a few international plane tickets, some legal fees, that kind of thing. (realistically you’re talking 10-30 grand from what I have read, but still)
I don’t know about you gents, but if I had such an arrangement, I’d swagger into my social circles and flat out brag about it. I’m getting to sleep with a slamming hottie and she’s got a sexy accent to boot. Hard to see what the issue is.
Sure, it probably won’t last. I mean, she might stay 10 years and have 2 kids, but sure she’ll eventually leave. So what? My car doesn’t last forever, either.
“Spending lots of time back home” seems inconsistent with “green card.” Something may be going on, but if she is spending large chunks of time outside of the U.S., If guess it’s probably not visa fraud.
Months in her home country doesn’t help with getting her green card. I think there are a lot of missing details before we can make an internet judgement.
Yah, INS is very very suspicious. I always tell the story of my aunt, who married very late in life (47) and thus had a tiny wedding. The INS official asked to watch the video of the wedding, and came back, saying, “We think this is not a real wedding. We know Hindus have huge weddings, with tons of people, and you only have a dozen people here.” And they were forced to submit additional proofs.
In my age group it is not unusual to see guys marring girls who would otherwise not look at them. The sad thing is in many cases the men are either in denial or just blinded by the beauty. This one friend of mine was literaly relieved of all his cash over a 3 year period by a A Russian bride about 25 years his junior. She spent about 1 night a week with him and always had excuses why she couldn’t come home.
You seem to be thinking of a Mail-Order-Bride, which isn’t necessarily the same thing as a green card marriage. For example, a person might marry a friend they met while they were going to school in the US or on a temporary work visa, not someone they bought like a pair of shoes on the Web from some skanky Mail-Order-Bride Web site. There are some serious ramifications to this, because it’s technically possible that this immigrant might not be a total hottie or could even be flat-chested. I don’t mean to get crazy, but it’s even conceivable that a man might need a green card.
It’s a real gamble, and I’d strongly encourage any men who think it’d be a great deal to spend $10,000 to $30,000 to occasionally have sex to just save the money and buy local whores.
Says a guy who obviously hasn’t tried the local whores much.
Let’s see, at $300 a bang, you need your russian hottie to put out at least 30k/300 = 100 times. 1 time a week for 3 years is 150 times. Also, it’s bareback - most whores don’t offer that, the ones that do either charge more, or you spend more on medical care for your itchy johnson after the fact.
Also, if you’ve ever actual sampled the local whores, you’ll find out that slamming hotties are rare, and most whores lie on the internet with misleading pictures on themselves.
Also, $300 is just an hour long fuck session. Some men enjoy slumbering while cuddled with an attractive woman. A whore will charge probably $1000 or more for that. So, really, if your russian hottie puts out once a week and sleeps with you after the fact, she’s giving you $150,000 worth of services. Wow. What a bargain.
If you’re a better negotiator/she actually likes you a little/you pick the right one, you might get 3 nights a week from your russian hottie, again, worth $1000 or so each time from the local whores. $450,000 worth of services for 30k upfront and a grand or 2 a month maintenance. What a deal.
I’d tell my buddies “I dunno if she likes me, or my greencard, but I’m getting to slam a slamming hottie several times a week. You Jellie, bro?” That’s not INS fraud if you don’t know why she stays. Also, if she’s sleeping with you several times a week and living in your house, that sounds a lot like a happy marriage to me…
I don’t know anything about local whores, that’s true. It also wasn’t really my point. My point was green card marriages aren’t necessarily between whores and desperate men who only get to have sex if they pay a prostitute. A green card marriage could just as likely be a 35 year old physical therapist from the Philippines who marries his American friend Jill so he can stay in the country.
My cousin, who is a lesbian (yes, it’s relevant), married her best friend’s boyfriend so he could stay in the country. About a year later, when her girlfriend wanted to quit the job she hated, but was in a dilemma, because she was diabetic, and really needed the insurance the job brought, her friend reciprocated, so her girlfriend would have health insurance. They lived in a duplex, and ended up raising two children. I’m surprised their life was never the basis for a sitcom. They’re still in their heterosexual marriages, and considered divorcing and marrying their real partners a few years ago when gay marriage became legal, but they sort of decided if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it. Their children are in college (and are really great). My cousin’s husband is a citizen, and has been for years, so the green card isn’t an issue, and there are fewer insurance issues than there were when they got married, so they could divorce if they wanted, and not worry about even a few days of not being married somehow screwing things up.
Anyway, she’s not the only gay person I know who married someone for their green card. She’s the only one I know who stayed married longer than she legally had to, though. But I know a lot of people who felt almost a duty in cases where they were marrying someone from a country where gay people are very oppressed, or considered criminals, and yet, can’t seek refugee status because of it.
My point was that in the long term, the local whores aren’t cheaper. Sort of like how buying a new car or getting a longer term lease is cheaper than renting the same car from the car rental place.
In the market for women, hourly prostitutes are more expensive per hour than “mistresses” who are like a longer term lease, and marriages for the money are the cheaper on an hourly basis.
In terms of up-front and total cost, obviously, the relationship is inverted - the wife is much, much, much more expensive than the other 2, but if she stays a decade or more and does a lot of work, it is cheaper.
Of course, sometimes leasing a car is actually cheaper than buying. In the case of women, that’s probably often the case.
