There’s got to be a better way.
Why? Is the minute or so spent brushing your teeth that much of an ordeal?
Sure. End up at 50 or 60 years old with no teeth.
Minute? Heathen!–I spend at least two minutes on my teeth.
see?
No, but the taste of soap that lingers in the mouth for an hour afterwards is pretty unpleasant.
Absolutely. Full dentures. Take em out at bedtime. Soak overnite in cleaner, rinse, replace and 
If that is not your option change toothpaste for a more likeable taste. 
Some people (my mother, for example) have a horrible time with the overpowering mint flavors in toothpastes. She says it makes her mouth feel like it’s on fire. To compensate, she buys children’s bubble-gum flavored toothpaste.
Is there some “organic” or “whole earth” or some other kind of hippie toothpaste that doesn’t overpower the mouth with mint/cinnamon/whatever? If so I’m gonna order a box for MammaHomie.
Maybe I’m weird, but it takes me at least 5 minutes of brushing before my teeth feel clean.
Why don’t you like to brush your teeth? It’s two minutes, twice or three times a day. Is it the taste of the toothpaste? You can get all sorts of different flavours now. Is it your gag reflex working overtime? What? Without that information, we can’t suggest anything to you.
I remember reading many years ago that chewing on a stick was next best to toothbrushing. A search on this turned up these oral tips.
Yep, there’s quite a few, Tom’s of Maine being the best known. Tom’s is still too strong flavored for me though. My absolute lifesaver (or at least toothsaver) is Vicco toothpaste, which is an ayervedic blend of herbs and stuff. All safe, same recipe for a really long time. It has a very mild flavor and works wonderfully. My dentist was stunned when my not-quite-peridontal-disease-but-will-be-soon went away completely.
If you Google “Vicco toothpaste”, you can find on-line vendors.
Some people have more delicate and involved dental problems or issues that require extra time (I don’t) and I will admit I tend to brush my teeth and tongue very vigorously, and move my brush quite rapidly like I’m powerwashing the side of a house, but at best it’s about 90 seconds of focused effort to be sparkly fresh and cavity free. Why 5 minutes? What are you doing in there?
In order to get my back teeth, I’ve got to open my mouth so wide my jaw locks up. The pain is intense. The same thing happens to my big toe, occasionally.
I tend to brush very lightly. I know that doesn’t really justify 5 minutes of brushing - that aspect is more obsessive-compulsive. It HAS to be that long, otherwise I cannot be satisfied.
Have you tried an electric toothbrush? I use, and recommend, the Oral B 3D. It has rotating bristles and a built-in two-minute timer to let you know when you’ve done enough. Other modern electrics have similar features.
I’d forget about brushing the back teeth on your big toe then; it’s not as if you really need them, or do you?
In addition to WhyNot’s suggestions, I recommend that she try a toothpaste for sensitive teeth. I’ve found that many “sensitive” pastes have a much milder flavor.
I brush for at least 5 minutes, too, and for the same reason you gave. I’m really bad at remembering to floss, but the dental hygenist always tells me that my teeth look great, so I chalk it up to the excessive brushing. There is a downside, however: before I switched to soft bristles (and eventually an electric toothbrush) I was starting to wear some of my tooth enamel down, which is bad.
You’re probably still weird, though.
I know that you were asking ninetypercent, but as I have a similar “affliction” I figure I’ll chime in with my $0.02: I have an electric Oral-B toothbrush, but deliberately did not buy one with a built-in timer. The toothbrush shutting off would not make me feel like I was done brushing: I would wind up having to re-start it 2-3 times, which would just get on my nerves. Besides, I always thought that the timer was there more to make sure that people brush for long enough, instead of making sure that they don’t brush for too long.
Tooth-cleaning sticks are widespread in the Arab world and parts of Africa.
“You will see be surprised to see Saudi executives, high-ranking businessmen and university professors chewing publicly on a tan-coloured stick, about 15-20cm long and roughly the thickness of the little finger, and without being the least bit embarrassed about it. In Saudi Arabia, cleaning one’s teeth in public is perfectly acceptable. They clean their teeth with the miswak, a natural toothbrush-cum-toothpaste. This multi-purpose stick is the secret to the dazzling white smiles commonly seen in the Arab world.” Link
:eek: I watch a LOT of Indian movies, and in the “intermission” they always have commercials for Vicco! I never knew any others to know about it, though.
(singing) Vicco Vajradanti Ayurvedic Cream!
Can’t remember the next line.
FYI, the Oral-B 3D doesn’t shut off after two minutes. It briefly flicks off and on every two minutes, but keeps running, so you can easily mark off two-minute intervals.