Finance: Buy low and sell high
Homemaking: two words - Fast Food
Biology: You’re born, you eat, you screw, you die
Political Science: OK, trick question, there is no such thing
Mechanical Engineering: Get a bigger hammer.
Chemical Engineering: Damn that stuff stinks.
Electrical Engineering: It works better when you plug it in.
Computer Engineering: 1 and 0; repeat.
Civil Engineering: Use more concrete.
Biomechanical Engineering: Broken bones = bad.
You don’t have a thing to worry about. I’ll have the jury eating out of my hand. Meanwhile, try to escape.
Sig by Wally M7, master signature architect to the SDMB
Hamlet: A lot of people die
Romeo & Juliet: they die at the end
Julius Caesar:He dies half way through, and the conspirators battle with their concious for 3 more acts
King Lear: He gives his kingdom away, goes crazy, 2 of his children die, and he dies too.
The Scottish play: Death-o-rama
English: i before e except after c.
Dance: step-ball-change.
Classical Theatre: Everybody yelled a lot and died violently, and talked unintelligibly.
Romantic Theatre: Everybody had to enter a room sideways while ducking, and talked unintelligibly.
20th Century Theatre: Everybody sat around being sullen, and talked unintelligibly.
Hey, sweetie! You want a Danish with that coffee? – another custom design by the mind of Wally
How about Titus Andronicus: They all die and it’s really bloody.
Or Hamlet: That’s what you get for wanting to screw your mother.
I want to be psych professor:
Child Psychology: You mother didn’t love you correctly.
Adolescent Psychology: Kids are cruel.
Abnormal Psychology: When in doubt, drug 'em.
Social Psycholgy: People are just bald, two legged sheep.
Psychology of Mass Media: We’re all screwed. Turn off your TV, burn your newspapers, throw your radio out the window, and you MIGHT turn out normal.
Freudian Psychology: You didn’t love your mother correctly.
Jungian Psychology: Well, there’s a mask. And a dark side. Kind of like Darth Vader, but different. And a collective unconcious, kind of like The Force, but different. And then there’s this cave… (see Philosophy, 101.)
John L, sorry, but I’m probably saving Shakespeare for myself (I am dean after all).
I will, however, steal liberally from your material. How about Milton instead?
Micro-acting class:
Greek theatre–place one hand on the toga/peplos, the other in the air.
Shakespearean–put hands on hips.
Resotration–put one hand on cane, the other should have a limp wrist.
Modern–put hands in pockets.
Contemporary–put hands on groin (yours or someone else’s).
Marketing - Sex sells. Management - Where it concerns offices, size DOES matter. Industrial Engineering - It comes in here and goes out there. The rest are details. Corporate Law - Whatever you do WILL get you sued. Human Resources - If we get sued, you’re fired! Accounting - Numbers don’t lie, but management will. Finance - Sorry, that’s not in the budget for this year.
I expect tenure and an annual sabbatical.
Sig! Sig a Sog! Sig it loud! Sig it Strog! – Karen Carpenter with a head cold