I’m not talking about SO’s, or other important people in your life, nor lies that are necessarily ‘big’ ones in any real sense.
My situation is a workmate who I have known for a number of years. I like him and we generally get along very well. I do not fraternise with him socially, and he has no impact on MY life in any way. Lately however, I have caught him out in a number of ‘lies’ about his life and his past, nothing earthshattering but enough to make me me dubious about any line he cares to spin me now.
Do I call him out, or do I just shuddup and bite my tongue?
I guess it depends on the nature of the lies but if I knew enough to catch him out I would find it hard not to prod a bit.
You know how every few years there is the story about the small town ANZAC Day hero who turns out to be a fraud? And someone always says that they thought that there was “something odd” about old Bill’s stories. I often think that a bit of prodding may have got Bill to pull his head in.
It’s not unreliable about ‘certain subjects’ per se. It’s lies about his life and history and stuff that makes me now question EVERYTHING about him. He’s been a friend of mine (albeit at work only) but there have been so many discrepancies as to make him almost a fraud. It matters not in the big scheme of things I guess, but I wonder if the reason he has continued with his lies is that nobody has ever bothered to call him out. I feel confident in my old-fartness to be able to do so, but I was just polling others to see whether they had ever done so and what the repercussions might be.
If it’s just inflating his deeds to look better, or embellishing his past to be more interesting, he’s probably insecure. Calling him on it would just hurt his feelings and make him afraid of/angry at you.
If he lies, about everything, (my first DIL) calling him on it, you won’t change anything.
If you do decide to “out” him, do so in private. If you do it in a group, you’ll look like a prig, and likely make others mistrust you. (I know, it makes no sense, but I’ve seen it more than once.)
If his lies are hurting other people, or he’s lying about his abilities, then speaking with him, as a friend, privately, might keep him from hurting or embarrassing himself. You still could lose his friendship.
Likely, once you talk to him, he won’t lie around you, but will still do so with others who don’t know him as well.